GG33 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Question to the ladies. If you have decent date with a guy but just aren't interested in seeing him again, do you feel obligated to give an explanation after one date if they text the next day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 If I hear from my date after the first date and know I don't want to see him again, I will just nicely say, I had a nice time, but I don't feel we are compatible. Good luck in your search! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charity Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Well I would certainly answer him and explain that I don't want to date anymore but I would not feel obliged to explain why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milly007 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Question to the ladies. If you have decent date with a guy but just aren't interested in seeing him again, do you feel obligated to give an explanation after one date if they text the next day? I will definitely reply by letting the guy know that although it was nice to meet him, I didn't consider us to be a match, and then wish him well on his search. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I will definitely reply by letting the guy know that although it was nice to meet him, I didn't consider us to be a match, and then wish him well on his search. perfect .... can't ask for more than that ... I am glad you are letting him know ...it takes nothing to just politely let a person know they are not a match rather than having them sat wondering what the hell they did wrong . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milly007 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 perfect .... can't ask for more than that ... I am glad you are letting him know ...it takes nothing to just politely let a person know they are not a match rather than having them sat wondering what the hell they did wrong . Exactly, shooting star. The last thing I want is a nice guy that I met to think that it was something about him in particular that I didn't like. He can be good looking and sweet, and the conversation may have flowed nicely during the first meet, but what it really comes down to is chemistry; it's either there, or it isn't. And the thing is, I don't feel obligated to send someone the message that I referred to in my previous post; I send this message as a nicety, and out of respect and as a courtesy. It's still a downer to send a message like this, though; because I'm hoping that they're not second guessing themselves and wondering if it's something that they did/said, or how they looked. But, unfortunately, their thought process is out of my control. I just hope they don't take it personally. After all, no one wants to be rejected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchy37 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I'm glad that most women speak up. I've gone on many dates that I felt were "decent" to "great", even dates that weren't good because we weren't compatible... yet I still like to drop in and shoot a text or a phone call to see if a second date would change things... I'd say roughly 50% of the time, I don't hear back at all. I think this is counter intuitive because if she would have said "hey listen, had fun but I just don't see us together in the longer run, we aren't compatible" etc.. etc.. I'd be totally cool and thank her for a good night. Wouldn't contact her again unless we wanted to remain friends. Guys are often taught "silence" is to be perceived as playing hard to get or busy... therefore try again. If she isn't into me, I'd like to be told the first time around rather than "get the hint" a text or two later... one week down the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I like to say "I had a nice date but I don't feel that we are a match". I don't explain why though, and I think it's generally pretty rude to ask why someone won't go out with you after 1 date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milly007 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I think some women are afraid of replying because they're concerned about what the guy's response might be (and I know this applies to men as well). Some people react angrily; some people take it well; some people request more info on what they did wrong during the first meeting. I've found that most men respond well. However, every now and then, someone will react in a way that leaves me feeling a bit uneasy - doesn't happen often, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 no of course they don't , but it is the nature of the beast in the dating game ..and at least this way , he knows ..he isn't another member of ena with a thread called " what is she thinking" or " had one date and now she has gone awol" etc etc etc ..haha we know how it goes .... i Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frenchy37 Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 That is actually good insight. Its too bad that some men ruin it for the rest (in some circumstances). I personally hate being ignored when I've fallen for her (probably way after a first date). Once a women is past my "tough" exterior and I let her in, I've vulnerable.... and sometimes I hate it, I know its the nature of the beast, dating and all and some may argue its a confidence issue, I still think it isn't. Its just vulnerability. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 That is actually good insight. Its too bad that some men ruin it for the rest (in some circumstances). I personally hate being ignored when I've fallen for her (probably way after a first date). Once a women is past my "tough" exterior and I let her in, I've vulnerable.... and sometimes I hate it, I know its the nature of the beast, dating and all and some may argue its a confidence issue, I still think it isn't. Its just vulnerability. Nice to see a guy feel that way Frenchy! I wish that everyone could just tell you up front that you aren't a match rather them go dark or ghost you, which I can't stand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sportster2005 Posted March 10, 2015 Share Posted March 10, 2015 Question to the ladies. If you have decent date with a guy but just aren't interested in seeing him again, do you feel obligated to give an explanation after one date if they text the next day? Unless you are doing a poll, this question isn't very helpful. I think you will do better not to expect anyone to be obligated to you for anything unless you sign their paycheck. What perspective are you asking from? The man or the women's? Either way, courtesy is nice. No one should feel obligated after one date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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