My girlfriend is depressed and losing interest in me... What do I do

[fiv]

I have been dating this girl for 6 months now. We go to the same university together and have most of our classes together. When we started dating I didn't know if I liked her but she seemed like a very nice and kind person so I decided to try and make it work. After a couple of months we started hitting it of and enjoyed each other company. We are both very shy so at times it is hard to hold a conversation and she doesn't say much usually. we wouldn't text as often but when we see each other I felt happy and content, relaxed and calm. And she seemed to be enjoying her self too as she was always up for doing anything with me ( unless she is a very good actor ). Everything was going better and better and without realising it I started to care for her and wanted to spend more time together.

 

Now one month ago her grandmother passed away, and clearly she got very depressed. What bothered me first is that she didn't tell me what happened for like two weeks ( she actually never told me it just happened to slip in the conversation). After that she got very lazy and quite, didn't want to go anywhere. I can Understand that, I have lost my father last year and it was very hard for me to. What bothers me is that she stopped talking to me completely. If she says anything to me it is only if she is answering my question. She hasn't started a conversation with me in like a month and sometimes doesn't respond to me for days (but she still talks to her friends). It seems like its all over, but I have been trying and trying to make her feel better, to get her mind of it, to show that i care, that I'm there for her but ether she doesn't care or doesn't want ME to care any more. This has been happening for a month now.

 

She spends all of her time home and says that she is tired or doing work but I think she is lying. I feel like she is making excuses not to see me. If I get to see her it is usually in class or if I push a little and come over to her apartment ( that she is sharing with a roommate). Now here is the catch, Usually when we are together she acts all fine. talks to me smiles, kisses me but that only makes it worse. I think she is just acting this way not to hurt my feelings

 

I am so lost, I cannot sleep or eat and I feel like this is getting me depressed. On one hand I think she is depressed and her mind is not in this relationship for now. On the other maybe she actually lost interest in me and doesn't like me anymore. But it doesn't matter what she thinks right now. This whole situation has hurt me very deep and past week I cannot do anything but to think about her and I cannot do this much longer. I feel like although it is not her fault and she has a lot going on, my feelings matter too and if she cannot find the time for me right now I am tired of having a one way relationship and I have decided to tell her everything I feel and think, and I decided I wanted a break and if she realises that she actually needs me she will reach out, if not it was not meant to be

 

Please tell me what do you think, am I being a crazy, selfish a**hole that overhangs everything or if I am being reasonable in this situation.

 

P.S.

she was leaving for holidays two weeks go and I offered to take her to the airport so she doesn't have to take the train. She didn't tell me when she was leaving till the night before and only because she canceled plans (again). when she was leaving we made plans for me to pick her up when she returned. The holidays were sopped to be one week but the day she was supposed to come back she said she had food poisoning and wasn't coming, turned off her phone and I didn't here from her for a week. She still talked to her friend at the university non the less. Then one week from when she was supposed to come back I turn on my phone and see that she is online I say "Hi, how are you" she says "Hi, fine" and the the conversation followed me asking what happened and she was answering. I stopped after few minutes because I couldn't take it anymore. The next day we see each other in class and acts like nothing happened, sees that I'm sad but doesn't ask why.

?????????

[Andrina]

It sounds like she's a coward about breaking up with you. The relationship has regressed instead of progressed. She doesn't meet your needs. No, I wouldn't stay one second longer. Tell her the relationship isn't working for you and break up.

[No1]

For whatever reason, she checked out of the relationship. There could be many reasons why, so dont try to figure out the exact reason. She has issues and you are the easiest problem to figure out and that is to let you go.

It takes two to make a relationship work my friend, she is no longer willing to put any effort in it so its time to cut the cord and wish her a happy life and hope she finds her feet. You cant change her mind and love is not the solution, you cant provide love for the both of you. If she wants you in her life, she has to see a life without you. The more available you are the less she wants.

[Guitarguy_82]

Sorry to hear you're dealing with a tough situation like this.

 

I think the other posters have the right idea here...and you should probably step away from this relationship. Sometimes you need to take a few steps back in order to go forward. Take the time to think about what you want and expect from a relationship and see how best to proceed. You're still young and there's nothing wrong with walking away from a bad situation in order to open up the door to a better relationship perhaps.

 

Best of luck