Brokenheart99 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 So this has happened a few times. Maybe it's just part of my nature but I take time to develop feelings and attraction to a guy. Anyway, when I meet a guy, when we exchange numbers, and we start texting(bear in mind, this is early on in dating like after the first date or so) or even if I meet them online and we haven't met yet, how do you avoid the text spam? I just hate it so much, it ruins the attraction for me because I don't want to be bothered by having nonstop text convos or even calls until I have developed feelings. I have tried the last few times saying Im busy etc and delaying my responses, but first(I don't feel like I should have to) and second, I dislike lying and also I've lost a few guys who just assumed I wasn't interested and got annoyed and ended it. My feelings take time to develop(I've always liked people slowly over time) and I really just don't like it when a guy responds immediately especially when I haven't developed feelings yet. Later in the relationship when we like each other, sure I love hearing from them, but not this soon. And I definitely don't want a non stop text convo so early on. I just don't know a good way to stop that so early on without even meeting or knowing the person or without lying and being rude by ignoring them for several hours. Anyone have this problem and what did they do? I hope I'm not too weird or bitter now from dating 😁 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haliescharlie Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 These "spam texters" are probably just trying to show interest. Typically it's a good sign since they want to get to know you. Most girls, if they're also interested in the guy, would be happy more than annoyed by this. However, I can see how it gets tiring if they constantly are texting you a stream of messages. The next time you give out your number, be straight up and tell the guy you're not a big texter and say something like sorry if I don't reply right away. If they don't understand, maybe they're not the guy for you. Btw, I'm not a big texter. I do text a lot, but some people it's too much. You'll eventually weed out the guys who aren't for you and don't overanalyze the non importance of texting responses; who actually favor talking to you in person. Maybe you can hint at them. Try to set up your next date and reply with an enthusiastic "I'll talk to you then!". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weathergirl Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Broken...you are not alone girl...I am same as you....and when I was dating...I hated all the texting...huge turn off for me too! I usually just let myself be turned off though...and was like...Next!! When you meet the right guy for you...HE won't be a serial texter..and will be happy to go slow giving you time to develop feelings and letting the relationship grow gradually and naturally... Guys who move fast and try to pull you in fast via texting, etc...are usually gone as quickly as they dashed in. You are smart for becoming turned off by that behavior...that is the right response! The right guy will be patient and will proceed more cautiously....YOU just need to be patient and try not to let it all get to you too much. It will happen. Stay positive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosti87 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Is it possible to tell them that you prefer to not text unless you are making arrangements to meet? Something simple or straight forward like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueidealist24 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 I hate this, too. The ones who text me constantly are always the ones who end up cancelling the meet with a semi-lame excuse. It seems they just like to text. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManyDates Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Before 4-5 dates the texting should be kept to setting dates / plans. I use to hate it when I'd use it to set up a date / spot and she'd keep on texting within seconds of each reply for hours on end until I made an excuse to end the madness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 "Thanks for texting! I really look forward to getting to know you in person - I hope you agree that's the best way to go about it - among other things, I wouldn't want you to get the wrong impression if I can't respond promptly to a text" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted February 16, 2015 Author Share Posted February 16, 2015 Wow thanks for the responses! Its so refreshing to know I'm not alone in this-I thought I was being cold and bitter by hating it. Well see I met this guy online so we haven't met just yet. But within texting, after the initial few messages of how are you, he keeps instantly replying, wanting my phone number so we can text and respond faster and so he can tell me some shopping "disaster" that happened and how he hurt his back. I mean is it just me or is that kinda strange? We haven't met yet, and I've only had formalities exchanged with him. Is it true that the right guy won't annoy you like this? Or am I just not giving it a real chance because honestly I'm already annoyed. I think I may try some of the suggestions here! Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weathergirl Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Wow thanks for the responses! Its so refreshing to know I'm not alone in this-I thought I was being cold and bitter by hating it. Well see I met this guy online so we haven't met just yet. But within texting, after the initial few messages of how are you, he keeps instantly replying, wanting my phone number so we can text and respond faster and so he can tell me some shopping "disaster" that happened and how he hurt his back. I mean is it just me or is that kinda strange? We haven't met yet, and I've only had formalities exchanged with him. Is it true that the right guy won't annoy you like this? Or am I just not giving it a real chance because honestly I'm already annoyed. I think I may try some of the suggestions here! Thanks It's hard to say for sure what's up with him...but my first thought was that he sounds incredibly needy! I mean come on, he hasn't even met you yet...yet wants to share all this mundane shyt with you via text messaging? I hope you didn't give him your number..he is liable to never leave you alone.! So yes that is strange...very strange.. I would take a pass on this one.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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