faraday Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 I have no idea what typical prices would be down there. Typically we pay 60% more for products up here...so...*shrugs*. I would find something like a canvas...a medium weight fabric. Unless you have kids using them, you'll be fine. I ran a Dayhome and bought fabric from ikea...sprayed on a fabric protector, and they were usually good for a year. And that's with stuff getting spilled on them daily... So just buy something you like and go from there. You could even go to thrift stores and find a pair of curtains that you like and use that. Dads always have staple guns. Idk why. They just do lol Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
faraday Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 If you're worried about durability, go for a pattern...it hides things better Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 16, 2015 Author Share Posted October 16, 2015 I told my dad about redoing the chairs and he approved the idea. He even offered to help. That was nice we're going out to dinner together and he hasn't drank at all yet. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 18, 2015 Author Share Posted October 18, 2015 Mostly moved in. Mom is coming over to help me unpack. I refused to let her help last time and it took me months. I'm giving up some control this time and I think it'll be good. J and I went to a local Halloween festival here in the downtown area (where I just moved) and there was a shooting after we left. Right now there's one confirmed death and 3 shot. So much violence. There were close to 20,000 people at this event... One drunk jerk decides to ruin the fun for everyone. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 I'm loving my apartment. It's so easy to get ready in the morning and get to work. I left at 7:45 this morning and clocked in at 7:56. Wonderful. Over the weekend, one of J's friends joked about him marrying me. J joked back about it "definitely being a possibility, if she plays her cards right". It made me smile, but also wonder about the future. I guess inevitably, if J and I do have a LTR, marriage will have to be spoken about. I honestly didn't really think marriage was an option for him, given the way his ex had treated him; but it certainly sounds like he could warm up to the idea. As for me - I'm still really funny about marriage. Most people in my family have gotten divorced or are in unhappy marriages. So I've always been jaded about it. I don't really know how I feel about it, to be honest. All I know for sure is that it's not something I want at this point in my life. And if our relationship ever came to that point - hopefully J will understand. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 I went to the doctor on Friday to see if he could give me a script to get my usual meds for 3 months instead of month to month. My insurance is ending at the end of this month and I'll be getting another one, but in the meantime I don't know what my prescription costs will be and I'd rather get my meds and have them for a few months rather than hoping the new insurance is affordable and then being unpleasantly surprised. Anyway, he made the decision to put me on weight loss medication too. He didn't really give me a choice. So now I'm trying to figure out how much this'll cost me. I went to the pharmacy today during my lunch and it turns out only one of the medications (there are 2) is covered by my current insurance. The other one isn't. The total cost for both still isn't terrible, but I'm flat broke from the cost of moving and getting electric and utilities settled. J and I have a date on Tuesday and Wednesday, which I'll likely cancel. I was so looking forward to them. Then we're leaving this weekend to spend the weekend at my family's house and J is driving, and I won't be able to offer him gas money. I'm just struggling right now financially and it's really terrible timing. But my apartment really was too good to pass up - it would not have lasted another week, let alone another month. I don't know how to tell J that I can't see him this week because I can't afford it. Link to comment
missmarple Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I don't know how to tell J that I can't see him this week because I can't afford it. Do they have to be expensive dates? You could still meet and take a walk or something. Or ask him to pay for you and you pay him back later. Link to comment
faraday Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 What drug did he put you on? I would just tell J that things are tight financially right now, and tell him you need to do free things for a bit. Invite him over to watch a movie. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 The things we're doing are free. It's just that we live an hour away from each other now. And he's the one driving to my family's this weekend... It's a 4-hour drive one way. And he'll be driving to the Renaissance Fair we're going to in November. Tuesday is our standing date of me driving to him, and Wednesday we'd be meeting hallway for an event my mom got us free tickets to. Sigh. I hate when bills and other financial things clash at an unfortunate time. It's just travel time that I can't do. I have a truck and it eats gas. His vehicle is more economically sound, but it's still an hour drive and I'm not presuming that he's able to travel to me all the time. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 It's just a rotten time, that's all. The next month or so will be really difficult for me financially. Almost no wiggle room when it comes to dating and driving to see J. And he understands that. I think it'll be harder on me than him, that's all. Y'all know how my insecurities are. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Being broke sucks. Is he able to come by for a night or so, and you two could hang out and cook Ramen together? I would be upfront and say that you can't front him the gas money. He may very well not care. Don't feel bad about being ambivalent about marriage, or maybe not wanting it. I'm in the same boat, and K has made it very clear that he wants marriage in his future. I just don't know. Things can change or maybe not. I try not to think about it. So it's a aways off, not even anything to worry about. Link to comment
notalady Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 I agree with just telling him you're in a bit of a financial jam for the next month or so, so you won't be able to drive to him. See what he says. I'd let him make his own decisions as to whether he wanted to do extra drives to you to spend time together, rather than making that decision for him (by cancelling). Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 Cancelled seeing him tonight ( And I'm going to my dad's tomorrow anyway, so I'll still be able to see him tomorrow. ( First day on these stupid weight loss meds, and already I can't feel my face. Are they supposed to make it numb like this?? Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 Pretty sleepy. I experienced some heavy dizziness earlier, and my face and legs felt quite numb, but most of that has passed now. Link to comment
notalady Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 What are these meds you're taking for weight loss?? Sounds dangerous if it makes you go numb!! Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 The side effects listed numbness as one of the "common" ones, but that's fading now although still present. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 Well, I'm hungry. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 I'm taking phentermine and topiramate. Link to comment
faraday Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 I'm not sure why you cancelled tonight. Why can't you just be honest and tell him things are tight this month because of all the moving expenses? When he moved and he was short on time...he didn't communicate with you as much, and he didn't make time for you, and that really hurt you. You thought it was about your relationship, not about him moving. Don't you think that cancelling plans might give him the wrong idea? Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 I did tell him that things are tight financially and I won't be able to see him very much for the next month. He said we'd figure it out. Link to comment
faraday Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I don't understand why you've decided that means you guys can't hang out as much. You took any say out of it for him ("I'm doing this") and...it just seems really dramatic (to me at least). Relationships are about problem solving together. If you can't problem solve together, it's never going to work....but you have to try...you can't just shut him out...it's child like..."I can't get this the way I want it, so no one else can get it." Idk. Just my thoughts. What were you hoping as a reaction from him when you told him you would be seeing him less this month? Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 You're right, Faraday. I'm very independent. If I don't have the means of traveling or of compensating someone to see me... then I assume it won't and can't happen. But in doing that, I'm doing a disservice to myself... because I AM worth someone taking the time and effort. He's showing me that by taking this trip with me this weekend and volunteering to drive, knowing that I can't offer any gas compensation. And I know he will make the drive to see me in the coming weeks, knowing I can't do the traveling myself. I'm just so used to being the one to do all the traveling. Doing all the work involved with being in a relationship. I don't put myself in situations where I might be rejected by just flat out canceling plans ahead of time or simply explaining that it can't happen. I wasn't hoping for any reaction. I was just protecting myself from the rejection I was sure I'd get. Link to comment
faraday Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 It's good that you recognize why you're doing it...so that you can logic yourself out of it. People don't want to do everything in a relationship for another person. But they don't mind picking up the slack when the other person can't...as long as it's appreciated. And as for the fear of rejection thing...you need to try your best to get over it. Life is full of rejections. You won't be able to get anything worth having unless you put yourself out there...and yes, you will get rejected. But then sometimes, you'll get what you want (whether it's the guy, the raise, the new job, a new friendship, the new apartment or whatever) and it will make all the rejections worth it. Learn to shrug it off instead of taking it as a personal rejection. Because when someone says "no" it's rarely about you. And if J had said "no" about coming to see you...wouldn't you want to know now? Then you don't waste your time on someone that's not crazy about you. As it is...he likes you. He'll come see you. So be glad when he comes to see you, be happy...and let go of the guilt of not putting in 50%...because he likes you and he doesn't mind. One day make him muffins or something as a thank you. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 21, 2015 Author Share Posted October 21, 2015 I'm struggling without caffeine while on these pills. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.