faraday Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Now that you're aware...you can be different. You can fight it. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 I kept thinking the whole time how much I want my father's approval, even though I have such an intense dislike of him and most of the time don't want anything to do with him. It's strange because it's talking about how this form of attachment is developed from infancy, but my young childhood was actually really good. I do recall feeling that my dad had really high standards for me, but he still was a really good dad. But you know, I started typing out all of the things I can remember from my childhood..... but the only things I can really recall are when he would coach my soccer team. Everything else, my mom was the one there. School projects... birthday parties... midnight releases for books or video games... He was never really part of any of those things. I remember family parties for sporting events and such, but those weren't ever just for me. It always included lots of his friends and family. It's sort of like a light has just clicked on... Like I can feel something stirring in my chest... but honestly, I'm not in the mood to think about this any more today... I think I'll revisit this on Monday, when I have access to a computer to type. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 I had a fantastic weekend. Yesterday J and I traveled down to my part of town and went to a craft beer festival. Then we ate dinner at a seafood restaurant right on the marina. The sun and water was so pretty. We both had shrimp scampi, but each got different sides to share. Then we went back to his place, got gussied up and went out for drinks and dancing with friends. We left early and got some yummy food to take back to his place, which we enjoyed with a movie. Got to sleep in this morning and I'm currently sitting on his couch with a fat cat in my lap and a cup of delicious coffee. What a fantastic weekend. I woke up with feelings. Trying to ignore them. Link to comment
faraday Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Glad you had fun with him What kind of feelings? Good or bad? Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 Good ones. There was a moment... Last night... We were eating our fast food at his kitchen table... And we got quiet and just looked at each other... And I felt it there. This palpable, growing feeling between us. Neither of us said anything, but I don't think it was needed. It was like... A silent acknowledgement that we are on the same page... And that we like where we are headed... And it was good. I think it'll be okay. Even with an added distance... And long work hours... It'll be okay. It'll work. Just throwing out there that Friday night, on his way home from work, he called me. It's the first time he had done so. And I know he did because of the talk we had before. So he is hearing me. I'm cooling my jets and he is hearing me out and wanting us to be good. Link to comment
faraday Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 That's awesome that he called! Did you tell him how much you appreciated and enjoyed him calling? If experiences are positive people want to keep doing them again and again to make us happy Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 Yes, I did. I made sure to. He told me this morning as I was leaving for home and him for work how much he enjoyed me being over. Link to comment
faraday Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 cute. See? Progress. It takes time to grow together. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 It does. I'm happy where we're at. His female friends want to plan for all of us to have a girl's night out for dancing. It's nice meeting new people and getting to know the people in his life. Everything we've done with them has been initiated by him or them. I don't want for any reason for him to think I'm trying to take over his friends or something stupid. But then I realized, that's just my childish thoughts. He just wants me in his life and to be involved in it. And that's good. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 He's including you and that's a wonderful sign. I'm glad you're getting on well with his friends and they are including you! Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 This feels really good. I feel... Happy. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 It's a gloomy and rainy day here today. Makes me wish I was with J, snuggled up in his bed with some hot coffee and a good movie. Sigh! Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 The realtor told me this morning that she's giving her approval to the owners for the apartment and will let me know if it's a definite 'yes' by the end of the day. WOOHOO!!!!!! Link to comment
faraday Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Great news When is move in? Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 It's for an immediate move in, but until I get a definite approval, there's not a set date yet. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 I got the apartment!!!!!!! Move in day is October 16. It could be tomorrow but I'm giving myself time to pack and organize. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 J called me again tonight. We only spoke for about 10 min. But it's enough. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 I'm going to drop off the holding fee for my (MY!) apartment after work today. I asked to wait until next Friday to move in officially, so I have to put a deposit down to hold the apartment til then. But that holding fee will then be taken off the initial fees for moving in on the 16th. So I'm not losing it. I'm super excited. I can't wait to make this apartment my own. I want to get rugs and curtains and hang pictures. I didn't do much in my old place, because is never felt like home to me. I so want this place to be home. J is working late tonight. Usually on Tuesdays we meet his friends for karaoke, drinks and dinner. I asked him if he wanted to skip tonight, but he said no because he's really stressed from work and wants to see me. So, I'll just meet him there, instead of going to his place first and us riding together. It's nice to know I'm wanted. He also told me not to make plans for the weekend, because it's PirateFest here! We're getting dressed up and going. (I told him I would only go one day of the weekend, because I'll be busy packing and organizing.) Link to comment
faraday Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Piratefest! I don't know what that is but it sounds like something I would be totally into! Have you ever ready the Liveship Traders series? I'm showing my nerd here...but it's about pirates...I would totally be a pirate...in a different life. Link to comment
WithLove Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Faraday - I PM'd the link to it! I can't wait. I've never dressed up for anything before. We're going to a pretty popular Medieval Fair down here next month as well. Dressing up for that, too! Link to comment
Fudgie Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Ooooo I love Medieval/Renaissance Fairs! Link to comment
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