WithLove Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 Second date with J. It was really good. I feel closer to him this date than I did the first one. We talked a lot, went bowling, then played pool after. We kissed the whole evening. he's a good kisser! I do feel good about J. I'm going to keep seeing him. But I'm keeping my emotions under the surface. I'm allowing myself to enjoy his kisses, but not fully immersing myself. I don't want to be intimate with him until he is on his own. I think I'll have built up enough of a connection that it'll be mutually satisfying if or when it happens. Hopefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 High school guy, on the other hand, refused to make plans with me last night, then messaged me this morning asking to meet for lunch - in 2 hours! I told him I had made other plans because I hadn't heard from him and my days off fill up quickly. My "plans" are actually to go grocery shopping. But I'm not into playing texting games. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Plans are plans no matter what they are. I think when someone is making consistent plans in advance, it's totally fine to meet up in between those planned dates for something unplanned...but to do it in the beginning or do that as the usual, lowers your value- because then it appears you don't value yourself enough to either keep your plans (even if it's just grocery shopping) or make plans for yourself. You did the right thing saying no. As for second date guy...I'm not going to say anything yet about that, but I do wish you luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 Invited J over last night to watch a movie (spontaneously). ONLY to watch a movie. I said I was busy during dinner but asked if he'd like to come over after. He surprised me by saying "just let me know when and I'll make myself available". I am not used to a man making time just for me. It's kind of nice. We had a lovely time. At the end of the evening, he asked if, when he talked about me to his friends, he could call me his girlfriend, lol. I told him "we'll see" because labels are important to me and I'd like more than just three dates to determine if I'll accept that one. I feel like other might say we are moving fast, but we talk so much that meeting up in person feels.., good. Right. I'm starting to like him a lot. Feelings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Feelings! Lol, I'm the same way right now. So happy for you, K. I am sending good vibes and hope you continue to enjoy his company! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 10, 2015 Author Share Posted August 10, 2015 All day yesterday, all I could think about was J and how I wish he could have spent the day with me. That's how I know that I'm starting to like someone. When I keep checking my phone for messages. When I come up with those stupid daydreams of the guy spontaneously dropping by, and how happy it'd make me. (Very unlikely, as he was at work all day and lives 30 miles away) He asked me to come meet his friends on Tuesday night. They all have Tuesdays off from work (he has told me this before); once a week they get together to enjoy a few drinks and karaoke at a restaurant by him. When we were making plans to see each other this week, he said he had Tuesday off, and I replied that that is his night with his friends (knowing that we all need friend nights and wouldn't think of interrupting that). And he said, please come and meet them. I talk about you a lot and they want to meet you. I'm just not used to dating someone that's so.... proud to show me off. It's sort of weird, but also kind of flattering, too. Makes me smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 10, 2015 Author Share Posted August 10, 2015 High school guy is still texting me. I told him I had met someone a little while back and over the weekend I had decided to be exclusive with this guy. I told him that I was still interested in getting to know him because we did used to be friendly previously, and we do have a lot in common and had spoken about biking together at some point, but that I'm only interested in friends. He said he wanted to continue talking and respected that I found someone and that he was happy for me. He wants to go biking with me because he doesn't have anyone else to exercise with. I'm interested to find another friend to encourage and motivate to be active; but I'm worried that it may seem weird since we originally "re-met" through a dating website and that's what we were both looking for. Any advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigKK Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 You might be leading him on, and he MAY be vulturing. Which means he'll hang around until things go south with J and swoops in to feed off your carcass. The thing is, I've met people on dating sites...didn't feel an attraction but liked talking so we kept staying in touch but we were both immediately like....eh this is not happening. It was sort of a mutual thing. I have a few friends that I was attracted to, and gently pursued...was gently shut down. Got over it, and was able to remain friends. That said...this is only a handful of people I've done that with. The rest I usually just cut contact to not have hurt feelings for either party. In the end the choice is yours, read it how you want. Was this guy super interested in dating you and into you or was it more like oh hey I used to know you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 10, 2015 Author Share Posted August 10, 2015 I'm definitely not leading him on. I made it crystal clear that I was not interested in him in a dating sense. And really, we do text a bunch, but there really hasn't been any flirting with each other at all. Nothing to indicate an interest other than platonic. We just talk about exercising, video games, food. Idk, maybe it'll fizzle out. If it does, I won't be hurt. If it doesn't, and we become friends; cool! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Last night I drove down to visit J at a restaurant that he goes to every Tuesday with friends for dinner and karaoke. I had a blast! There was about 6 of us in his group of close friends, but they seemed to be friendly with nearly everyone there. Almost every person that I met (even non-close friends) told me they had heard a lot about me and were glad to meet me. It was really cool that he told me before that he always talks about me to his friends; and then for them to all come up to me and tell me exactly the same, which is that they'd been hearing all about me and were glad to meet me. It was nice to be validated in that sense. We have more plans to see each other on Friday. I'm really starting to like J. He's kind, funny, always pays attention to what I'm saying, seems to know what he wants and where he's going in life and just wants someone to be at his side to enjoy these things with. I like that he's independent and has his own hobbies that he really likes to enjoy, that I also happen to enjoy as well. It's like, we both have things we'd like to do and realize it could be more fun to do them with each other, although also realizing that we're independent enough to do things alone. I feel that we make time to be with each other even though we wouldn't really need a significant other. It's a nice feeling, knowing that he wants to spend time with me and is making efforts to do that. Our chemistry is solidifying and I'm aware of the sparks we have. It's exciting and it feels good. Oh, and he's moving out into a place with a friend next month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 I've been thinking about talking to my doctor about my meds. I've noticed that I'm taking them about the same time every day, and I feel absolutely great for about half the day. The last half, I just get irritable and restless. Not sure if it's a meds thing or not, and I'm not sure if they'll do an increase given that I'm losing weight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 I've been avoiding this journal since Friday. J came over and we had sex. (I'm waiting for all the "you're so predictable" replies.) We spent the day watching movies and decided to get some Chinese for dinner. One thing led to another and we had sex. And... It was awesome. He was careful with me and asked what was okay and what wasn't. I felt cherished and sexy and good. He didn't sleep over, which was okay, but we did spend the day Saturday together too with some friends of his. I love his company. I love spending time with him. He's funny and goofy and let's me speak my mind. He cares about what I say and actually pays attention to what I say, too. I feel like he values me as a person and a woman. He asked me to be his girlfriend at the end of the evening last night, and I said yes. I'm happy with my decision. Im excited to see where this goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 WL, No judgement here, K and I did today as well. If it feels right, it feels right. It sounds like it was a good experience and I am hoping for the best for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 17, 2015 Author Share Posted August 17, 2015 Thanks! It feels good. He's a good man and isn't afraid to say what he feels or what he wants. There are no guessing games, or "what is he thinking?" games. We're just two people enjoying each other's company. On Saturday, we got into a discussion about the future. Our separate futures. He explained that he has always known that he wanted to move away from here. He has stuck around so far because of his job and friends, but he doesn't have any family here (although having family close doesn't seem to be as important to him as it does to me). He said that he's considered northern parts of Florida and, more probable, one of the Carolinas. I appreciated his honesty and told him about my trip to PA in October and how I have seriously thought about relocating there. He had explained that he didn't know when he'd want to move, but hoped it'd be within the next couple of years; I said that I wasn't considering PA a possibility til after January. I like that we could be honest with each other; Tyler didn't drop his "I want to move to a city 4 hours away" bomb til a few months of our relationship had passed and he thought I was more invested. I feel like J is preferring to wait until he's with someone that would move with him. It's strange to me that I was so against moving with Tyler to a city 4 hours away; but when I inferred that J may be waiting to move with someone, it doesn't alarm me and in fact I am intrigued. I'm choosing not to think about that at this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I'm glad things are going well K Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 All that matters is that you are happy and happy with the decisions you are making! Wish you continued happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Being honest is great! J sounds like a nice guy and I'm happy for you K. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 wow. . everyone's having sex! well, almost everyone. . lol Good for you K. . You deserve a good guy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 Sick as a dog. Bleh. Caught a cold on Thursday and it's just ever so lovely being at work when I'm stuffier than a politician. Yuck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Stuffier than a politician, lol! Feel better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 I'm feeling slightly better today. Still really stuffy and congested, but not quite as foggy-headed, and my coworker said I didn't look as glassy-eyed as I have the past few days. My mom says that's how her mother always could tell when she was sick, by the glassiness of her eyes. I'm back on the grind today. Completely fell off the health wagon for a week due to being sick and going out with Joshua, but decided last night that no matter how I'm feeling today, I'm back to recording my calories and hitting the gym after work today. So I brought my gym clothes with me to work. I had hoped Joshua was in the clear as far as getting sick, because he hadn't shown any symptoms at all -- but last night at karaoke, he said he felt his throat was scratchy. Oh no! I told him I was sorry for getting him sick, but he smiled, kissed me and said "it's worth it since I really enjoy kissing you". D'awww. Speaking of Joshua - last night we were sitting there, enjoying the music together with his friends. He pulled me close to kiss my cheek, only sort of lingered there for a few seconds (enough for me to notice) and told me I smelled so good. He said I smelled like a freshly peeled apple, like one of those really sweet, juicy ones that you just peeled and can't wait to sink your teeth into. I'm not sure if it's what he said or how he said it, but I thought it was incredibly hot! I told him that that was very sexy and that he shouldn't be saying those things in public! I am NOT used to being spoken to like that from a handsome man; I'm giggly just thinking about it! And then, after I got home, he sent me a text saying "Well K, color me smitten. I'm so glad to spend time with you." Sigh. If this is the honeymoon phase - I will gladly stay in it forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 20, 2015 Author Share Posted August 20, 2015 I offered to cook dinner for J and myself tomorrow. I am not a good cook!!! What sort of things can I make with chicken?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveSoDeep Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I offered to cook dinner for J and myself tomorrow. I am not a good cook!!! What sort of things can I make with chicken?? Chicken is easy! Just google easy chicken recipes. There's a site called link removed that I like you can choose recipes form healthy cooking magazines (since I saw your note about eating healthy) and they give you all the nutritional info! There are tons of easy pasta recipes for chicken...maybe try that route. Then you can do easy steamed veggies or a salad (which you can get in a bag so that's super easy) on the side and some bread and you're set. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Chicken is gross. I have no advice for you. Sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 K, I gave it some thought and I'm thinking that you ought to try this recipe: link removed 1.) It's very easy to make. K (my guy K) has made it for himself in the past and told me it was really easy. I've been thinking of doing it myself. Just make sure that you really tenderize and pound out that chicken breast to make sure that it's nice and flat and will roll easily. 2.) You can use regular deli ham and swiss. Very easy. Make sure to use toothpicks to secure. Nothing to sautee, it goes right into the oven. 3.) You can whip up some mashed potatoes as a side dish. 4.) It looks pretty fancy without much effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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