WithLove Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 See, and now I've hardly spoken to him at all today, and it's fine. We're both working the same time today and I know he's busy, and he knows I'm busy. Maybe he's just very affectionate in person? He did tell me he was. In person. He said to me, I like being attentive and affectionate because I want the woman to know that I'm into her. He has told me about prior dating stories and I gathered that he wasn't like this with everyone. I think it's just a "let's see how this goes" type of thing. In any case, he wanted to see me again tonight, but I declined and opted for Friday instead. Didn't get angry or rejected or sad. Just "okay, sounds great!". I'm thrown off by the pace, I think. Maybe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 Not feeling well lately. For the past few days I've been experiencing shooting pains throughout my abdominal and pelvic region. It got worse after my date on Sunday. I got home around 3, took a nap, and when I woke up I was so nauseous. I was too queasy to even get out of bed right away. I didn't get sick, but I seriously thought I was going to. It settled, but I didn't feel well afterwards, and I still don't. Yesterday the pain was radiating down the left side of my torso and pelvic area, where my left ovary is. It seems to be on both sides today. There are a few things I can think of as to why I could be having this pain, so I'm not overly worried. It just sucks. I forgot to grab my gym bag before I left for work this morning, so I'm just going to head home after work, take a melatonin, and crash. My body needs to recover from moving all last week, from all the gym time, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Is it from your IUD? I had such pain when mine slipped. Then again, I know you have PCOS too so it could be a cyst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 Well, it could be anything. I hadn't been to the gym in a few days, so it may be that (stuff in my stomach resettling or something). I had been taking a multivitamin and b-complex pill for about a week, then forgot them at work - so I didn't take them all weekend. It could be that too. My digestive system is all screwed up, so it might be that as well. And I've had pelvic pain sporadically since I got the IUD, but everything I've read says that is normal for the few year. I've had mine since last November. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Oh yeah, my pains lasted for almost a year, that's pretty normal. I think some people get them out too early, forgetting that the pain can last beyond a month or so. Well worth it. I wish I had mine. I'm back on the pill but it's not my favourite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 Do you think you'll be able to go back on it, or did your doctor say you shouldn't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 It ended up making my cysts worse, which is why I am not going back on it. YMMV, as they say, because some (lucky) PCOSers that I have read about online claim that Mirena actually helped their cysts. Very jealous. That was not the case for me. If Mirena helps your cysts and you feel good, by all means, stick with it!! I'm glad I tried it though, definitely worth a shot. A very effective, easy form of BC. I have to admit, the last time I was active, I was using the IUD, not the pill. I am not active atm but if I am again in the future, I admit, I don't have as much confidence in the pill after having the IUD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 How funny! I just got a message on OCK from someone I went to high school with. He called me by name, said we had quite a few classes together, and that he remembered me. Checked his profile - and I do remember him, but he is thinner now (and really handsome!). I remember trying to talk to him in high school, but he was always so quiet. For some reason, I'm giggly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 It would be cute if you guys got together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 WithLove....I'm just jumping in on your journal! almost 3 in the morning....anyway, isn't it fun to be giggly? What I wanted to comment about tho....was the guy who is 'into' you...and you're not so sure. My sister met a guy (she was 48 and never married) He was about 55. He told her on the second date he was falling in love with her. YIKES. She wasn't even sure at that point she even LIKED him. They have been married now for 5 years. The guy I'm just getting over...and it's been tough....he wasn't attractive to me AT ALL. After 2 years, he still wasn't physically attractive. But I was attracted to him because he made me LAUGH. and he really liked me. We were best friends for 10 months. I never kissed him...cuz...to be honest, he wasn't ATTRACTIVE to me! lol I won't go into details, but i eventually kissed him. Or should i say...he kissed me! WOW. I am 60 and never been kissed like that in my life! The sex was out of this world! BUT....it then changed him. Found out he couldn't handle a relationship! ugh I finally realized...i think he was ONLY attracted to me physically...but didn't want anything emotionally deeper! So new guy that makes you 'giggly'...is it cuz he's really handsome? Remember, beauty is only skin deep! So nice to see you have 2 options! YaY for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 Hi RN! Thanks for checking in! The reason I'm a little wary over this guy liking me so much.... My last bf (Tyler) dropped the "L word bomb" after only 3 weeks together.... 3 weeks! I had asked a handful of my male friends - "what gives?" - and they all said that with guys, you mostly just know. So it scared me. I'm so sorry your friend pushed the physical boundaries and then pulled away. I hate it when that happens. It's strange to think he went through the trouble of being your friend for 10 months just to have sex, though. Maybe he does genuinely like you, but lost interest..? The new guy (also starts with J...) IS very handsome. He used to be sort of large and very, very quiet and kept to himself.... I remember he used to draw a lot, and they were generally video-game based, so I'd try to talk to him about them... but he was so shy. Now, he has definitely "filled out" and even though I do recognize him, he's pretty transformed. I was also very surprised by his initial message, because it was pretty elaborate and highlighted things in my profile, so I knew he read it. We did exchange phone numbers and texted for quite awhile last night. There are a handful of red flags that I can see is going to prevent me from being interested in him long term, which is a bummer. But I'm finding myself reaching through the years and remembering the initial like I felt during high school, so I think I'm going to keep talking to him, maybe go out once in awhile as friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 In my past relationships (I haven't said I love you first), the guys said it within 1-2 months. I thought that was pretty normal. Either they say it early or they don't say it at all. With a few exceptions of course.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 In my past relationships (I haven't said I love you first), the guys said it within 1-2 months. I thought that was pretty normal. Either they say it early or they don't say it at all. With a few exceptions of course.. That's really funny. My past bfs said it within 1-4 months I think. But my husband said it after 8 months of dating. For those bfs, "love" was a feeling. For my husband, "love" is a commitment - it is a promise of continual engagement in the relationship. I have no doubt that he loves me. I don't really think my past bfs did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 I love that, Mrs. Darcy - "love is a commitment". So I signed up for MyFitnessPal and according to them, I can only eat 1200 calories per day. I'm struggling with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Every guy I've dated up until now has told me he loves me in the first couple of months. Jay still hadn't said that he loves me yet. Normally, I would say "run" if a guy hadn't said it at that point...but we talked about it, and he's never said it to a gf, and he said it's something he's always known he'd say when he proposes- love is a commitment to him too. He tells Tine he loves her. I told him a few months ago...he better not move into my home if he doesn't love me, and he said very sincerely, "have I ever done ANYTHING to make you doubt that I love you?" Aside from not say it? Ha. Talk is cheap. Action expresses priority. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Yeah I can see why it takes a long time for some guys to say "I love you" when they believe love = commitment rather than a feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 I love that, Mrs. Darcy - "love is a commitment". So I signed up for MyFitnessPal and according to them, I can only eat 1200 calories per day. I'm struggling with it. How many calories do you eat now? If you are active and eat 1700 a day, or example, that might be a bit easier for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 I haven't been counting at all, because I've failed in the past doing it this way. But J.man, over on my weight thread, suggested I start doing it and give him the numbers. Sounds like he trains, so I'm going to do it. I guess it just sounds like it's so little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 It is pretty little. It's not far from mine, I try to aim for 1,000-1,100 day, sometimes a little more if I'm particularly active. When you eat that little, you're like a bird picking at things or you have small plates. Going from a 2,000 (or more) calorie diet to 1,200 a day quickly would be hard for everyone. If you want, you can try 1,500-1,700 a day and work your way down with time. Gradual change is the best change, because it is the change that is easiest to stick with. I really do believe in the power of counting. As long as you don't make yourself nuts. I don't count coffee or Crystal Lite, or gum, or anything nutty like that. It really makes you aware of what you're putting into your body. Not a bad thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 It's very little. That's what mfp recommends for me too...which is why I always fail. When I was working out a ton, I used to get like 2200 calories a day...I need to start doing that again lol. just make sure you eat your exorcise calories... I think you'll need them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Remember too that you can lose at 1,500-1,700, it's just going to be at a slower rate, and you need to be diligent about exercise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Remember too that you can lose at 1,500-1,700, it's just going to be at a slower rate, and you need to be diligent about exercise. Exactly my point as well. When I was training for a half-marathon, running 10 miles a day (some days) I was eating like 3,000 calories a day and still losing weight like crazy. It was crazy. People thought I was starving myself and my hubby was like "No way! She eats like it's her job!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 6, 2015 Author Share Posted August 6, 2015 I feel so good today. I went to the gym last night. I meant to do cardio and lifting, but ended up only doing cardio. But I did it for twice as long as usual, and I feel just fantastic. I'm not sore; I didn't hurt while doing it; and I'm thrilled that I'm becoming used to it and even looking forward to it. I put all my numbers into MFP and ended up (after subtracting exercise calories) still having 500 calories left over, but I honestly wasn't hungry or had any cravings after the gym. Today, I have 670 calories left to eat in the day, not counting any I'll born off today at the gym later. I'm planning on two filets of fish (I need to eat more protein) with a bit of rice and veggies. If I have calories left over, I may have an Outshine frozen fruit bar for dessert after the gym and my shower. I have a second date tomorrow with J. We're going to dinner and then going bowling. I think it'll be a good date. It'll also give me further opportunity to hash out if I like him enough to continue seeing him. Life is good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 7, 2015 Author Share Posted August 7, 2015 I had a dream about my ex C last night. I woke up just... aching for him. Aching for the love that used to be there. It hurt. I talked to Jennifer about it. She said, you can still love a person while knowing that they aren't right for you. You shouldn't have to give up so much of yourself just to feel like there's a chance that it'll work out. For people like us that fall so deeply in love with someone that just cannot make improvements to benefit each other as a couple - you can still love them while knowing they are not the person you're supposed to be with. And she's right. In the end, I couldn't trust C. There was so much going on that I just could not allow myself to be open with him. I believe I will always love him. And there still is an ache for him. But it's not every day. It's not even every week. I get excited to be around other people, about meeting new guys and knowing that there's someone out there that will love me just as much, if not more. Someone I can immerse myself in and love deeply, someone that's good for me and to me. I just wish I could let dreams go as easily as I want to. Hopefully this feeling of sadness won't persist for the whole day. It would be kind of awkward to go on a date with feelings of longing for an ex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 It is okay to miss people, even people that you think you "shouldn't" miss. I miss certain aspects of not just exes, but friends that I used to have in my life. Give yourself permissions to feel that loss and even miss it from time to time. When you love someone (romantically or otherwise) and let them into your life, they leave a mark on you and add something to your life in a way that no one else can, because everyone is different, so everyone will affect you in their own unique way. Not giving myself permission to grieve and feel feelings was a huge stumbling block for me in my life. It is something I am still working on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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