WithLove Posted July 25, 2015 Author Share Posted July 25, 2015 Things progressing slowly with J. Sigh. No other hits on my radar. Trying to move but it's going to be a rainy weekend. Will likely do it in the week, which I hate doing. Blah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Had someone contact me earlier today and we chatted for a bit. We talked about weekend plans; I told him about moving; and when I asked him about his living situation, communication stopped. Oh well. I don't understand men that "like" a profile of you, but won't initiate conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 K "liked" my profile before I "liked" his. I started the conversation first because he mentioned where he worked and it was the same hospital where I work so I cracked a joke. I did ask him why he didn't send me a message first and he said he figured I was getting a lot of messages and his would get buried. I think it's okay to message first. It's not like asking someone out on a date. You're just saying hi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 First weigh-in tomorrow. I'm nervous. Jennifer and I have been hitting up the gym nearly every day. Today we pushed ourselves so hard. I feel so much better. Even though I'm hoping for results on the scale tomorrow, I know that I feel healthier and slimmer, even if the numbers don't reflect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Sometimes it takes a bit for your progress to show on the scales. What matters is that you feel better and slimmer. Are your clothes fitting differently? I bet they are! You are making progress! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Good for you for hitting the gym! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Scales reflect I lost 3 lbs - but I was honestly hoping for more. But, I feel great and I know I'm no longer bloated all the time. So, that's something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 You are just laying the "Groundwork" for much larger losses over time. Very proud of you, K. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Thank you! I'm quite proud of myself. I don't remember feeling this good about myself in quite a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Finally exchanged phone numbers with J. We seem to have a good rapport and have joked a few times. Also talking with another guy. We haven't had any in-depth convos yet, but he wants to meet already. I get the feeling he's just looking for company. I've used moving as an excuse to avoid meeting right away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 What is your timeframe for meeting guys? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 I don't really have one. Just whenever I feel comfortable, I guess. I know if I feel like I wanna meet someone, I need to make or agree to plans pretty soon; otherwise they lose interest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 Are they expecting to meet up within a couple days or so? I guess some people want to meet up ASAP but if you're not comfortable, that's okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 A lot of people put right on their profile things like "I don't like playing games and doing endless messaging." I guess I understand that; but I'll only meet someone if I'm comfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 What makes you uncomfortable about meeting sooner? I always met as soon as possible...I didn't want to talk on the phone...or send more than 2-3 emails. So I never understood when people wanted to "get to know me" first. What part are you nervous about? That they're serial killers/rapists? That it'll be boring or awkward? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 In the distant past, I used to wait a week or so prior to meeting. Like you, I wanted to wait and see, I was worried it would be awkward if I met up early. I didn't do that recently and it worked out okay. Are you worried about safety? If you meet up in a public place, you're good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 It's none of that. I just, honestly, don't want to waste time meeting someone unless I feel some sort of "hey, we have a connection" feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 It's none of that. I just, honestly, don't want to waste time meeting someone unless I feel some sort of "hey, we have a connection" feeling. To each their own. I always found it more time consuming to spend several days texting with someone, planning phone calls, talking on the phone, and then meeting...or I could just meet them for an hour. I always made matches come to my end of town...like 5 minutes from my house. I told them ahead of time that I had to leave after an hour for an appointment or family dinner or I had to pick up my daughter or whatever. If it went good, I would smile and tell them "my plans have changed, would you like to stay longer?" And if it wasn't a great date, I could suck it up for an hour. I never had good luck with waiting to get to know someone beforehand. Most of the time I found it disappointing. But I rarely have chemistry with people- maybe one in ten...so for me, online dating was a numbers game. I met 250ish men to meet 10 that I really liked, and 7 that I had long term relationships with. So getting to know a match before meeting was a waste for me. If you have higher odds- then yes, you should do that. Over the years, jay met 5 women from OLD. He dated 4 of them. He didn't talk to any of them beforehand (me included), I guess he just knows what he likes and makes a good enough impression that women want to date him again. I think that's rare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 When I met K recently, all I know was our common interests/goals, where he worked, and I thought he was cute. Most of that I gleaned from his profile and a few messages. Looking back on my past, I found it really easy to dismiss someone based on their profile/few messages. I think I have a pretty specific "type" I tend to go for and if a guy is not that, I pass. But outside of that, I don't know, I think I would have been willing to meet anyone quickly if I didn't initially rule them out (which is rare that I don't). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 It's none of that. I just, honestly, don't want to waste time meeting someone unless I feel some sort of "hey, we have a connection" feeling. Depending on what you mean by connection, isn't it kind of hard when its all in text? That being said, I never felt inclined to meet the guy if the online messages are boring and interview like lol.. I don't need to chat to the guy much to meet, but I do need to know the guy's name, what does he do, a little bit of background info to feel comfortable to meet. I don't know how soon this guy suggested meeting, but once a guy chatted to me on POF (no surprises there) for like 10 minutes, didn't even give me his name, I knew nothing about him and he wanted to meet the next day! Yea, no thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted July 27, 2015 Author Share Posted July 27, 2015 J and I have been texting all day. He asked me out on a date next week. I'm excited! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 Yay! Excited for you WL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 Can't wait to hear how it goes!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted July 27, 2015 Author Share Posted July 27, 2015 I like him so far. We have a lot in common. He's pretty nerdy, but not the nerdiness as me, if that makes sense. But, he appreciates my qualities and I appreciate his. And from his picture, he's totally dreamy. Hopefully this translates in person. I asked him how recent his photos were; he told me they were from last week. Here's hoping! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted July 27, 2015 Share Posted July 27, 2015 I didn't know you were nerdy, K. That's so awesome. I am quite nerdy and I like other nerdy people too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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