faraday Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 You got wine to comfort you mhowe....I should, go buy wine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 You got wine to comfort you mhowe....I should, go buy wine. True that....it is good wine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 Sure, easier for you. I had just poured a nice glass of wine and was sitting down to read your post about how awful it was and offer comforting words....and now I got nuthin. Sorry to burst your bubble! It was nice. He wished me luck, said he'd always care for me, and to keep being awesome. I told him the same, adding that I hope he finds someone that shares his same end goals and makes him incredibly happy. So, that's that. Moving on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 I didn't even have to block him, although I did unfriend him on social media. Exes don't get the benefit of following me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 So what's your plan now? What are you up to tonight? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 I'm going to play video games and do laundry. Oh, and head over to Mom's to raid her pantry. She purposely told me she has some Double-Stuffed Oreos in there earlier when I told her I was breaking up with Tyler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Now I want oreos! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
testcase Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Damn well that's awesome! Ya it always seemed like you were maybe both lukewarm about it. Well shut I hope if/when my relationship ends it'll be that easy too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 Felt blah waking up this morning. Normally I'm quite cheery at work, but today I'm just irritable and not wanting to deal with anyone. I'm looking forward to the weekend to decompress from this stressful week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Felt blah waking up this morning. Normally I'm quite cheery at work, but today I'm just irritable and not wanting to deal with anyone. I'm looking forward to the weekend to decompress from this stressful week. That's normal. You had a lot of anxiety building up...and you just let it all go...it can be draining. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 I got a referral to an oncologist regarding the colposcopy I had done. That's my new stress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luminousone Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 I got a referral to an oncologist regarding the colposcopy I had done. That's my new stress. So sorry, WL! Try not to worry until you meet with him/her and have further testing. Sometimes it is just something with the lab and they want to be sure... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 Glad it was an amicable end! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 Have heard nothing from Tyler since the break up, which is good. I did not block him on my phone nor through social media, but I haven't a peep. I'm not surprised, but I'll admit that it's strange not to have gotten at least some sort of message - all my past boyfriends have attempted to contact me at least once after the break up. It just makes me glad that it appears he is moving on, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 It's kind of a double edged sword, isn't it? On one hand, it's like...you wonder why he hasn't...and on the other, you're thankful you don't have to deal with awkward correspondence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 It's always an adjustment, even if it's something you wanted to end. It's the right thing but a disappointment nontheless. Be good to yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 You okay K? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 Yeah, I guess. Sort of just... here. I've been really exhausted lately. It's all I can do to make it through the work day. Just feeling sort of down and out in general. I don't think it's related to my break-up. I think I'm just stuck in a sort of rut at the moment. Thank you for checking in on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Yeah, I guess. Sort of just... here. I've been really exhausted lately. It's all I can do to make it through the work day. Just feeling sort of down and out in general. I don't think it's related to my break-up. I think I'm just stuck in a sort of rut at the moment. Thank you for checking in on me. I've been really run down the last month (my roommate problem)...so the last few nights I've been taking a melatonin (and being a good mother, I totally drug my daughter as well) and going to bed at 8. I feel so much better today I hope you can find time to mentally decompress. Keep us updated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted May 7, 2015 Author Share Posted May 7, 2015 I do actually have melatonin I can take too, but I've actually had too much going on the past few days to allow myself enough sleep time while on it. So, I haven't taken any. But I have NOTHING on my agenda today after 5 pm, so I feel some crashing coming on later!!! I've been planning my trip up north much more seriously since the break up. I'm going in the beginning of October, and I just requested the time off from work yesterday. I've been eyeballing plane/rental car prices for the past month or so, and they don't seem to be changing any, so I think I'm going to go ahead and purchase them very soon. Everyone up there is totally excited for me to get there, which makes me feel so good; and depending on how it goes, I will be making a pretty big decision regarding a move! A friend offered his spare room for my use during my visit, so I don't have to pay any motel fees, which is a life-saver. Quite a few of my friends (even ones I didn't see all too often) have stepped forward about wanting to see me, so I'll have lots to do when I get there. I'm so excited!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Where are you going? How long have you been thinking about moving? I would love to start over in a new city...if I didn't have Tine, I'd be so out of here. Something nice about a clean slate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted May 7, 2015 Author Share Posted May 7, 2015 I'm going to a small town in Pennsylvania. It's very small but has a lot of very fun activities within an hour travel time. NYC is only a 2-hour train ride. I moved up there in 2008 with a boyfriend (bad, bad decision) and moved back in 2011 when we didn't work out. I always loved the area and the people there - I just went there for all the wrong reasons and couldn't make it on my own at that time. I was homeless, penniless, had quit my job and had no support system when I left. I would have loved to stay but was no where in the right frame of mind to be there alone. The thought moved through my head a year or two ago, after a break up with another LTR. Kind of wanted to start over, in a place where I knew people and therefore had some sort of support system in place when I needed it. But I had just gotten the job I'm in now and it was a miracle that fell into my lap, so I decided to wait for a better time. I sort of feel like that time may be approaching. I'm in a better place financially and mentally, and the only person that ties me here is my mother, who is also in a better place than she once was. She is my world, but we're both much better off than we once were. I don't think of me moving away as "leaving her", as I once did; rather, that I'm getting out on my own (even though I've been 'on my own' for almost a year) and starting my own life solo as my own woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 Feeling down and out. My own fault. I fell off the gym and eating healthy bandwagon and I feel terrible. Not just, because I've failed - physically I feel terrible and sick. I have total control over my own body and what goes into it and I feel like a teenager. Eating anything and everything and not thinking about the consequences. ... Okay, that's a lie. I've thought about everything little thing that I've put in my mouth, and knew it was bad, and did it anyway. Sigh. I've been playing that medication game again. Seeing how long I can stand not taking mine. I haven't taken them in about 3 days. Everytime I do this, I think, this won't be so bad. I can do without. And then I soon realize how wrong I am and how much my body depends upon this medicine. It's sickening. And yet I still see that medication sitting on my desk and I'm loathe to pick it up and take it. Maybe I am a masochist and don't realize it yet. One of those days. And unlike the weekend, I can't avoid people at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 You can go back to being conscious whenever you want...so decide now to get back on the wagon...a week of fun won't do too much damage, but if you don't go back soon, you'll have to spend time recovering. Take your meds. Drugs are good. You have to take care of yourself. Sometimes I would get down after a break up because...it sucks starting over, putting yourself out there again...is that like this? Or something else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 I don't even want to put myself out there again. I feel like my confidence is shattered. It doesn't even have anything to do with the break up. I just know myself and I know when I get inside my head too much. That's where I'm at right now. I did take my meds. I was drinking a soda because I need the caffeine this morning, but I got mad at myself and threw it away and got a bottle of water instead. I had gym clothes in my truck, so I'm going to change here at work (or at the gym) and head there right after work. I know if I go home, I won't leave. So, the only way to make myself go is to go straight from work and not give myself the option of going home or not. Luckily for me, the route to the gym does not pass by my apartment complex. No dangers of turning in there instead. When I get like this, I get fed up with everything in my life. My job, my place, my own image. I'm not happy with anything in my life. So, trying to look for someone else when I'm so unsure about my own life really isn't conducive to happiness. I'm just going to be low key for awhile. I can't concentrate on too many things at one time, otherwise I get overwhelmed and shut down. One of my favorite internet memes - a picture of someone lying facedown on a couch, with the words "I had so much to do, so I took a nap instead" - that describes me perfectly when I'm like this. My main goal for this week will be to go to the gym. Every day. It's extreme but it's what I need to pull myself out of this mood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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