Hazyillusions Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I broke up with my ex alittle over a month ago. Guy had baggage issues and in the end I found out he was talking to his ex constantly and trash talking me etc. It was quite the blow to put it lightly. I trusted him so I was blindsided. He also did a lot of really effed up things through the relationship due to his personality issues. Anyway, he just messaged me through another number. I've blocked him on everything of course. I cut him off afterwards and have not said a thing to him since. I'm thinking of txting back : "Lets not drag up the past.The deception did hurt me, but I have no regrets. I wish you the best." I don't respect the guy, I don't want him back but of course I still care. So? What should I do? I do forgive him. Link to comment
Telly986 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 If its not too much trouble, I would suggest you change your number. It will help you allot if your serious about moving on.The piece of mind will outweigh the annoyance of having to tell everyone your new number. I changed my number and deactivated my face book after things ended with my ex. We were on and off for few years and he put me through allot of heart break.Our relationship wasn't going anywhere. I just wanted to finally closed that door and move on .Now I know I will be real NC and I didn't leave that door open for him to reel me back in. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 I wouldn't text him back as negative attention is still attentive, undeserved, of course. Your silence would send the strongest message, loud and clearly. Link to comment
weathergirl Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Hazy no need to respond back. That just invites him to reply back to you which keeps the convo going. You're moving on...ignore him. Link to comment
Hazyillusions Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 He also called me 5 times tonight. Isn't being silent going to cause him to get more frantic? There is a certain satisfaction in knowing he's trying to get in touch but to no avail. I can't change my number. did it once before when my first love several years ago wouldn't leave me alone. A year of attempted contact until i couldn't stand it anymore. Link to comment
trust101 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 What did you do with your first? I think he will get more emotional and slightly chaotic, thinking he's lost your for good but then it will dwindle out. He may start thinking your a cold hearted person for not even acknowledging him and what you shared. But you shouldn't care. He needs to understand ignoring him is just as hard for you and you need to move on your own way. If that way is through no contact at all and ignoring, then that is perfectly fine. So just leave it as is. Don't reply and he will eventually get bored and mentally drained, like a child throwing a tantrum. Don't give him any further stimulus/attention otherwise it could turn into a wicked post breakup game. Link to comment
chickadeedee Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 >>he also did a lot of really effed up things through the relationship due to his personality issues. he's still the same person with the same personality issues, and that doesn't change just because a little time has passed and you may have gotten lonely. keep your eye on what is really important, which is finding a partner who is appropriate for you and which goal is NOT killing time with someone who isn't. And recognize that if you know someone isn't right for you, it is kinder to cut them off entirely in order to allow them to get over you and find someone else. Don't give someone false hope by continuing contact that is stimulated by your own guilt or loneliness rather than an intention to get back together with them. Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Silence is the best way to handle this...let him crawl the walls not getting a response Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 He also called me 5 times tonight. Isn't being silent going to cause him to get more frantic? There is a certain satisfaction in knowing he's trying to get in touch but to no avail. I can't change my number. did it once before when my first love several years ago wouldn't leave me alone. A year of attempted contact until i couldn't stand it anymore. Frantic about what? If you don't respond he will stop. If you respond...you fuel the fire. Link to comment
Hazyillusions Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 I don't feel guilty nor lonely. I treated him amazingly in every way and was in love with him. He killed my heart. He called me today too. Guess being cut off feels crap and he doesn't like to lose. I've blocked the other number too. Regarding my first love...I went no contact and he would periodically hound me with calls, emails etc. When I finally got into another relationship he didn't care. I told him to respect me for once and he couldn't so I changed my number. I just wanted to respect my bf at the time too. Blocking 4+ numbers was enough. I give and give and give and give chances, but when I've reached my breaking point...I am gone. >>he also did a lot of really effed up things through the relationship due to his personality issues. he's still the same person with the same personality issues, and that doesn't change just because a little time has passed and you may have gotten lonely. keep your eye on what is really important, which is finding a partner who is appropriate for you and which goal is NOT killing time with someone who isn't. And recognize that if you know someone isn't right for you, it is kinder to cut them off entirely in order to allow them to get over you and find someone else. Don't give someone false hope by continuing contact that is stimulated by your own guilt or loneliness rather than an intention to get back together with them. Link to comment
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