Introducing A New Guy On Board

[relevart]

I've been a member here for about two weeks now and have been enjoying being able to reply to different threads. I enjoy offering advice and hope it helps in some way. The reason I joined here is that I really felt I needed some advice myself, but didn't feel it fair to jump right in my first day here. I'm still conjuring up the right way to ask for the advice I need. (It's not about my kids' grades, which is the thread I started yesterday.)

 

In the meantime, here are a few things to know about me in case you are wondering --

 

I'm a guy in my mid-40s. I am married and we have two teenagers, a boy and a girl. My wife and I got married twenty years ago and in 2015, we will celebrate out 15 year anniversary. When I tell people that, they looked at me oddly, like they're not sure I said what I meant. We got married in 94, divorced in 97, worked our way back to one another in 99 and got married again in 2000.

 

In 94, we noticed each other in late September, began talking in early October, dating in late October and got married in November. Yes, that was quick. The main reason we split was interference from our families. As we were going through a divorce, it didn't feel right to me. There were no kids involved and we took what we brought in, so ammicable doesn't even describe it. It was almost a no fuss divorce.

 

During our timeout as I call it, I dated more then than I did before the marriage. With one girl, it got real serious and during, shall we say, an intimate moment, I felt like I was cheating on my wife, even after the divorce was final. I know. It makes no sense. When my then-ex and I got back in touch, it wasn't easy. There were issues and there were times I was not sure I wanted to be with her.

 

There's some irony in the threads I reply to when folks are longing for their ex. I know it almost never works out, but in my case, not only did I get back with my ex, I remarried her!

 

Looking back, I actually think I always knew we belonged together, but either I was fighting it or I wanted to make her work for me, either consciously or subconsciously. We eventually did get married and things have been great much of that time, but lately, cracks our beginning to show in the relationship. I'm not sure we will make it, but I will get into those issues more later. I love her like crazy and wanther to be happy. I'm coming to the conclusion that letting her go might be the only way for her to be happy.

 

In 2001, I was diagnoised diabetic. I keep it more or less under control, but there have been ED issues for much of that time. I bring that up because it plays into some bumps in our relationship. One thing no one really talks about with ED, and I guess it's different for everyone, is that sometimes the disfunction is more than just physical. It seems I have lost the ability and the desire. I don't know for certain, but I may have lost the desire as a way to cope with not having the ability.

 

Before anyone mentions Viagra and other similiar drugs, check the prices. We are not well off and insurance does not cover it. Why this is, I do not understand and I feel that other issues could be avoided if the insurance could cover it, but I suppose that's getting away from the point of this post.