Marah Posted January 4, 2015 Author Share Posted January 4, 2015 Good job! Glad you feel better, Fudgie! We had salmon 2 nights in a row, it was so good. It's off sale now, I wish we had bought more Haha missmarple, good luck. I think that's a reasonable goal (I say that but haven't been able to, myself!). I have worked out the past 3 days, just dancing, doing squats and circuit type stuff as well as using my medicine ball. Pretty sore but I keep going. I'm way out of shape. We had been doing T25 for a while and I was in much better shape then, even though I ate so much I gained a ton of weight. The food issue is slow to progress, I've just ate like a mad cow for too long I need to see certain foods as off limits for a while. There's no moderating some things, for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marah Posted January 4, 2015 Author Share Posted January 4, 2015 Oh, I made a nice thai crunch salad last night- it was good! It called for honey and I foolishly tried to omit it but it tasted awful without it so I had to add it. It had cabbage, carrots, cucumber, red pepper, edamame, and a pb/soy sauce/garlic/ginger/honey dressing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 I like the honesty of your weight loss journal. What's your strategy for managing the habit now of later day binges? That's something I've had an issue with at times. After working out (especially swimming for some reason), I feel so hungry and the tendency is to want to overeat. My main strategy for that is making sure I'm eating earlier in the day, and to have food ready to put in my food hole ASAP after working out - otherwise I can find a way to excuse myself for eating what I otherwise wouldn't. Wishing you lots of encouragement; think it's great you are doing this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marah Posted January 4, 2015 Author Share Posted January 4, 2015 Thank you so much, itsallgrand! Swimming does make for hunger, it burns so many calories. I've noticed that, too! Well, I think it's time to put my foot down about the types of foods in the house. If it is there, I'll eat it. Also, I want to make vegetables quickly accessible- so maybe create a container of prepped carrots, celery, peppers, etc. I have had binge moments while heating up soup. Even 2 minutes can be too long when I'm in that insane state of mind. Fruit has been my go to healthy snack but the sugar in it adds up when I'm eating too many pieces per day. It would be good to have a vegetable I can lunge after as opposed to crackers, cheese, chocolate, etc. That would be the first step, then I could focus on the nutty behavior itself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marah Posted January 4, 2015 Author Share Posted January 4, 2015 Made some quiche today, had some vegan protein shake, and a bit of yogurt. I stayed away from the chocolate in the house. We were planning to go out for burgers though, and I feel so ridiculous about it. Why on earth would I do THAT? I was rationalizing it by saying I could do it and still remain within my calories for the day, but it's a dumb thing to do. My husband's been in bed all day so maybe we won't go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marah Posted January 5, 2015 Author Share Posted January 5, 2015 Today I ate: A pear 2 eggs with hot sauce 1/2 a small avocado with 1TB salsa 2 bowls of oatmeal raisin cereal with 2% milk That's about 1,000 calories. The latter was not exactly a shining idea. I feel full and I plan to take it easy for a while. I am thawing some chicken and we have green beans and sweet potatoes. Today I will work out, then have a protein shake. I can still get through today on track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marah Posted January 6, 2015 Author Share Posted January 6, 2015 I still don't have the eating under control. Too many calories, and starches/sugars for meals. I have been eating more vegetables and moderating my fruit intake. I have also been moving more, each day. Progress not perfection, right? I need to say no more often and only say yes to treats I actually want. Not just anything that's a "treat" so I can say I had one. Sometimes I don't even like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 6, 2015 Share Posted January 6, 2015 I think that exercise helps. I've noticed that on days when I exercise, I make better food choices, too...when I just laze around, I'm always like 'let's have a burger, I'm too bored to cook'..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marah Posted January 9, 2015 Author Share Posted January 9, 2015 If nothing else it's nice to improve flexibility. I feel more alive when I move. Today I have behaved!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh! lol Breakfast: 2 eggs, tomato, spinach protein powder shake Snacks: celery and hummus, clementine, 2 bites of chinese food, 3 pieces of dried mango, a handful of chocolate chips Lunch: oatmeal with almonds and honey Dinner: chicken breast on whole wheat tortilla with hummus Imperfect but under 1500 calories and nooooo binges! It's still 7:30, but I feel like I won't mess up. I am going to drink more water. I have a stomach ache so maybe it will deter a last minute binge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marah Posted January 9, 2015 Author Share Posted January 9, 2015 I did eat more, but only to 2100 calories. Progress! Today I have had: 2 eggs with hot sauce, grape tomatoes, a bit of hummus 1 piece of dried mango A palmful of almonds, oatmeal, honey, and peanut butter Not horrible. About 800 calories. I should not eat much until dinner time. Vegetable and hummus... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marah Posted January 10, 2015 Author Share Posted January 10, 2015 Yesterday went well, I had about 1500 calories! Yay! Today I have had: 2 eggs, tomato, protein shake with spinach and almond milk An apple, peanut butter and some honey A wheat tortilla with some beef sofritas About 800 calories thusfar. We're getting pizza tonight so I have to play it cool. I haven't been subtracting calories from working out because it's so easy to overestimate it. But I walked and did a bit of exercise today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marah Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 Overate today. 2800 calories. I can keep moving forward. I will be alone tomorrow night so the late night binge thing will be my issue alone. Sometimes I let my husband's desires for fatty foods turn into a binge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted January 11, 2015 Share Posted January 11, 2015 Tomorrow is always another day. We all slip up sometimes. As long as you keep chugging along, it's okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marah Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 Thanks! Lately I have been experimenting with intermittent fasting. It all started years ago when I didn't eat until noon one day and actually felt better/didn't binge. My philosophy on eating is simple...I think consistent, balanced meals are best. I'm not one for diets and fads, but I have personally found intermittent fasting to be beneficial so I looked into it. I'm leery, and the second it doesn't feel right I will stop. Basically, I stop eating at 8pm on one day and don't eat until 12 or 1pm the next day. Then I try to fit in all my healthy food, 1500 or so calories, in my eating window. It's been good at keeping me from binges. I wouldn't do this every day, but apparently it's good for insulin resistance, which I have from PCOS. We'll see. It's easier for me to wait until noon than to stop binges at night. Maybe when I'm good at this I can switch and start my fast at 5pm or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marah Posted February 21, 2015 Author Share Posted February 21, 2015 I have an eating disorder and I'm in the midst of my lowest point ever, despite not being my highest weight. The path I am on will lead to heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and countless other ailments. Along with these horrifying realities (well, to the average person, because they don't horrify me enough to change) I have also failed at being socially acceptable. My appearance begs opinion, my honesty begs repulsion, because it's usually a fear of others...and what can anyone do? I do not pity myself, nor feel entitled to behave as I have for any reason. I am educated and willing, or so I think...it can feel like a demon has possessed me. It sometimes feels like I don't want to change. I also fear ending up in an extreme situation on a TLC show because I haven't yet put the brakes on. There are so many ways to approach this problem, I often end up overwhelmed. Intuitive eating, restrictive diets, diverse coping skills, abstinent eating, fad diets, exercise, journals. I have done all of them and none of them fully. I want to be free from the insanity of my relationship with food and feel so helpless. I am humble, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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