Circe Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 Thing is you never know why someone is driving a certain car. You see someone driving whatever brand, you don't know why, to some people a Mercedes is cheap, because they have money to buy it. I think for your own peace of mind, just buy whatever you like. If you husband likes something that's just how he is, there isn't a right or wrong, better or worse. That, I do agree with. When I was younger I thought ALL people drove luxury cars to show off. When I got older and met more people I realised that's not true. Some people just love the comfort and don't think the price is excessive for the comfort. Some people have been wealthy their whole lives and it's just their norm - they're not showing off - it's just what's normal for them. Some people just love high performance. So .. now my judgment is just directed at people where I think their motivations are off And you know.. I've always seen that as a personal strength but I must say these posts have me questioning whether maybe this preoccupation with it is more of a weakness.. I have to think about that I think!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Oh honey, it's not dumb. You love your boy and you are scared because all these nitwits are putting fear into you and then you're googling all these terrible things. A horoscope cannot predict anything, just repeat that to yourself. Relax, treat your body with kindness and find a positive affirmation that will help soothe you. I know it's scary not being in control of these things. I think we're similar in that way-- we need to have control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 I know red rose.. it's stupid right? I'm agnostic for gods sake!!! Anyway - tests done - all fine. Went and got some ice chocolates for tea.. then ordered in some indian take out. Just waiting for that to digest. Going to have a piece of cake .. and then maybe go to sleep. I stayed up till 3am last night because I wanted to see if the baby was just a night time mover (and he did indeed shake, wriggle and roll a lot at night). Our cat has started pooping just outside his litter box. This is not good - particularly as my poor husband has to change the litter (preg. women are not meant to touch cats litter) and he doesn't even like animals! No idea what's wrong with him. It was basically brand new litter.. the box is big enough.. it's not near his food or water.. Urgh. Such a perplexing cat. He's honestly really weird. He was litter trained from the day we got him and almost never had accidents. Then one day.. he pooped in my husband's shower!!!!! It was so random. And now.. several months later... he's pooping outside his box. So weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 If his litter is clean its either medical or behavioral. Maybe pop him into the vet and see what's up. I'm sure your sweet baby is just fine. Do the appointments help relieve your anxiety? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted December 31, 2014 Author Share Posted December 31, 2014 Ohh - good idea. Will do that.. Do the appointments help? Yes - absolutely in the moment. No - because they make me feel like the next time I worry I need to be more restrained and NOT go in because they might think I'm nuts (And they've told me NOT to think this way.. but you know ...it's hard not to). But overall yes, it helps a lot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 The important part is if it helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted December 31, 2014 Author Share Posted December 31, 2014 True What a lazy day. Slept in till 12:30.. then worked on my proposal.. now sitting back and watching old Survivor seasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Sounds nice That's something that should be on Netflix! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted January 2, 2015 Author Share Posted January 2, 2015 So we took the cat to the vet. The vet thinks it's a behavioural thing - but could be hard to remedy. Basically he thinks, given the cat's personality, it's probably being caused by him seeing other cats in our backyard. He himself is an indoor cat but there are ceiling to floor walls in our living room separating it from the backyard and there's no way to prevent his exposure to the yard. So we're going to install locks in the basement/den for night time and have him there at night (vet thinks there's probably many more cats at night) .. we need locks because he's learned how to open closed doors by jumping on the door handles. We've been given a spray to help relax him (but it's a bit hard in our place because there's too much space for him to roam). And we've been told that if nothing works he may need to go on prozac. Prozac seems extreme but I'm glad there are options. Poor cat. He really is just so scared and anxious all the time - at the slightest little things. Poor cat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted January 2, 2015 Author Share Posted January 2, 2015 Yesterday we finally had our postponed birthday dinner for my mum. Took her to an Indian restaurant. My dad is so.. Urgh. We have such a non-existent bond. I really dislike how he behaves. He was angry at the waiters because they didn't listen to his request to send the entrees first and mains second (fair enough - not very professional of them) but he responded to this by pretty much causing a scene - and quite aggressively pushing the waiter's hand/arm (with the plate of food) away from the table. That was so aggressive and so embarrassing. And then the way he spoke to the other waiters who were trying to figure out what the problem was - he was so rude and it was just awful. And then of course - he told us about his grand plans to go trekking in some mountainous region of India with nothing but a friend (10yrs younger and much fitter) than him (He's nearly 70). Of course my mum won't be going as she's not into that sort of thing. And then he made one of his typical derogatory comments about my mother - how "her problem" is that she can't be on her own in the city in India while he goes exploring the mountains because she's too afraid to be on her own there. Fair Enough too - I wouldn't want to be on my own in that particular city (or any city) in India either as a foreigner. I really hate how he constantly puts her down - when in truth she's SOOOOO much stronger than he is. He had prostate cancer and an operation. It all went fine and no more cancer. He was depressed about it for ages before the operation and ages - AGES after the operation. My mother got told she may have ovarian cancer and the doctor thought it was very likely she did. She had a very major surgery (much more major than his). She was a champion in the process leading to it (spirits high - downplayed it big time so I wouldn't get upset - researched it thoroughly but it didn't get her down though she was of course worried about it). And then after surgery - she recovered amazingly well and was up and about doing things so quick. She's really really really strong and resilient and brave - and instead of giving her credit for that - he just puts her down all the time - for being "fat" and for being a coward. In his eyes. Gosh I just don't like him very much and at this point in my life, I don't even feel guilty saying it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Gee , your dad sounds exactly like mine. Bleck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrose85 Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Oh mine too. And my sister. I think we just reach a point where it's not possible to like someone, even if you're supposed to love them. It sounds like your Mom is a great role model for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Wow your dad sounds awful (sorry for saying that lol), your mum sounds great though! I feel like he probably feels insecure and needs to put her down to feel better about himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted January 19, 2015 Author Share Posted January 19, 2015 ^^ I think he's just unhappy and resentful of the marriage he ended up in (cause they really aren't compatible) - they had an arranged marriage (like, so traditional they didn't even see each other before their wedding).. Urgh - so - I'm venting cause I'm so IRRITABLE. I'm 37 weeks today and I'm really happy about that BUT - the last little while - can't sleep at all because my joints hurt. I used to think muscle pain was bad but gee.. muscle pain may keep you up but it's not as bad as joint pain. Joint pain HURTS. On top of no sleep - I'm having perineal massage with a physiotherapist twice a week. Which is also painful (it's supposed to help prevent tearing and hopefully make the internal examinations you often have to do during labour a little easier to tolerate). I was so hoping that he might actually come this week - after all, I am full term. but my OB said first time mothers usually go about 4 days past their due date.. so I don't think that's likely. Meanwhile I'm freaking out about how much family is going to be invading our space post kid. I'm like a claustrophobic in a lift when it comes to family. I truly love spending time with them but limited time. I feel so sorry for my MIL - she would have loved a DIL who wanted to hang out with her all the time. I feel better about this now me and the husband have talked about the boundaries we will set - I asked him to tell me what he was comfortable with first.. in terms of them all visiting us - and he suggested something that was definitely ok with me (weekly visits from 1-3months.. then back to fortnightly) .. phew. I told him I could probably manage twice a week but he thought that would be too much with how tired we'd be. Thank goodness!!! And my OB has scared me about doing a "sweep" or something at 39 weeks to try and ensure I don't go over the due date too much (i'm on special blood thinning medication and to keep it short - we would have to induce if I went over too much) and he's told me it's going to hurt and I'll probably bleed. I then asked my friend about her sweep (which she had in the middle of labour) and she freaked me out by saying that it was so painful she completely lost it and started thrashing around screaming her lungs out for an epi. My friend is a bit of a drama queen though (when I was a virgin and asked her what her first time having sex was like she said "there was blood Everywhere!!" .. she made it sound like a crime scene Oh - and the combination of joint pain and a lot of weight - makes it really hard to move. So yeah I know - this is a big baby whinge. Oh and I'm emotional. The last few days when something annoys me - tears run down my eyes. Which startles my husband greatly and he gets really worried saying I look really, really distraught. But I'm not distraught. I'm just a little annoyed - yet the tears are running down my eyes and I can't stop them. I know people have trouble conceiving so pregnant women whinging about being pregnant is not much fun for anybody but if I don't have a whinge here I might have teary eyes again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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