Two women love me.

[jetsuo]

Ill make this short.

 

I'm a Male in his mid twenties.

 

My ex girlfriend and I almost had a kid together and we broke up when she terminated it. Things were moving too quickly. We didnt speak for a year.

 

I then got back in contact with her a few months ago, but she wasn't interested and so I decided to go dating.

A few weeks after that, I got myself a new girlfriend, and we are both very much in love. I have an amazing connection with her. I have had many relationships and flings, so i know when something is special.

 

My ex then contacted me and we had a catch up drink. I told her i was seeing someone new, and she seemed ok by it, but she later confided in me that she was still very much interested in me and had many regrets.

 

I'm a loyal boyfriend and have since updated my phone number and not given it to my ex. But i still think about her and she thinks about me.

 

I just wanted to vent. Would be interested in some feedback or questions

[abitbroken]

I would end contact with your ex. It was over and you have moved on. Of course she still thinks about you sometimes. I occasionally think about my ex husband not because i want him back but because I was with him for many years and he would naturally cross my mind when thinking about my life in the past 15 years. In fact, I would come clean to my girlfriend that you had a drink with your ex. Does she know you did that? You were quick to point out how loyal you were. And you really should have told your ex that you were seeing someone BEFORE you met up with her.

[CraigHowes]

Ok some questions.

 

Are you truly over your ex? How long have you been with your girlfriend?

 

Let me put this to you if you were that happy and in love with your new girlfriend you wouldn't of had to meet up with your ex for catch up.

 

Do you get what I'm saying? If you don't know what you want that's fine just don't drag two women along with you.

 

You can't move forward while still looking behind you!

[ParisPaulette]

It's normal to feel some nostalgia for old relationships from time to time. However, and this is a big however, the fastest way to absolutely destroy a new relationship is to keep contact with an old girlfriend or boyfriend or SO. If this new girl is really as special as you say she is then this shouldn't even be a contest. You and your ex have been done for a year and the chances of things reigniting and surviving given your history of things not surviving when you hit a rough patch, is pretty slim.

 

At the end of the day the relationship that is meant to last is the one that survives adversity, not just the good times. It's an ego boost to hear someone still feels something for you and with enough time and distance it's very easy to forget the bad and focus on what was good. But that is not a clear sign you should go back to an ex and it's definitely not a sign that you should stay in touch with both women. Tell your ex thank you for the kind words, but you are with someone else and wish her the best of luck. OR if you really have strong enough feelings for her that you find yourself keeping in touch with her and hiding it from your current partner then do the kind thing and let your current partner go. Yes, one or the other of these women will be hurt, but nowhere near as much as if you keep both of them in your orbit and open yourself up to the temptations of cheating.

 

Decide which girl to let go and let her go, don't let this become one of those ridiculous messes we keep seeing on this forum. There just isn't any point to it. And understand that when you make a choice it may not always be the right one, it may not always work out, but still it was your choice. And you accept and live with the consequences however it goes, because no one can predict the future. Just don't be that guy who keeps in contact with his ex and develops feelings for her while keeping a current GF on the hook. It's not fair to either of the women.

[jetsuo]

You know from a males perspective, it has been a great ego boast. And yes the temptation is there.

 

I think a situation like this is a true test of a mans character and his soul.

 

I love my girlfriend and have already stopped contact with my ex completely. I did feel guilty having these residual feelings, but tbh i'm just human. I think its the choices we make that define us. And i'm sticking with mine.

 

My ex and I only hugged (and rightfully so) when i saw her, and she thanked me for my time.

 

A small part of me is hoping and expecting long email from her in a few weeks time. But I think thats more to do with stroking my ego more than anything else. On the other hand I'm hoping she doesn't, because I think it would be painful for her (and yes me) because i'd have to remind her I have a new woman I love. It is a shame, because my ex was very special to me at one point, and if i were single i would defiantly date her again.

[Scoe141]

if i were single i would defiantly date her again.

 

Yikes.

 

It sounds like you may not be over her. But here in lies the problem, you said you spoke to her (ex) a few months ago, yet she wasn't interested. Why would you want to be with someone who wasn't interested or was wishy washy? I would certainly tell your new gf that you met up with the ex. Listen to Paris and Craig too. I've read their advice and it's usually pretty amazing.

 

Good luck, I hope it works out.

[jetsuo]

Yikes.

 

It sounds like you may not be over her. But here in lies the problem, you said you spoke to her (ex) a few months ago, yet she wasn't interested. Why would you want to be with someone who wasn't interested or was wishy washy? I would certainly tell your new gf that you met up with the ex. Listen to Paris and Craig too. I've read their advice and it's usually pretty amazing.

 

Good luck, I hope it works out.

 

Yes they had good advice that I will follow.

 

And yes the problem is I am still somewhat interested and we probably would of got together if she was more certain about what she wanted, but that's all in the past now. I wont mention this to my current girlfriend, nothing good will come out of it.

 

I think this could only be damaging if i acted on these feelings or let them grow. But i wont.