Brokenheart99 Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Hey all..just been going through some rough times in life lately, got over a pretty hard break up, only to experience another one, though not as bad, along with work and life issues.. been having a pretty tough year. Just wanted some words of encouragement and positivity because lately I feel like I'm drowning in sorrow and it's just been a string of setbacks. So any advice or words are encouraged, thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chamachama Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Hey sorry that you're going through that Brokenheart Can I ask you what have you done that is "new" in your life as of lately? Any new healthy activities? If not, maybe you should get into something new (preferably with other new people you've never met before)... Its a really great way to get over someone and make a new better more exciting life for yourself... I can make a small list of possibilities for example below: 1. rock climbing 2. group jogging 3. kickboxing 4. site seeing groups on link removed you get the picture.... The way you fill in the void left by someone is to fill it back in with new experiences.... You're going to be ok. It takes time. But you CAN be pro-active about ending the pain sooner... Chama=) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 hang in there! i hope the new year brings you some joy. hopefully some new friends, new hobbies, maybe even a new love. try to be kind to yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obSCEne Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 I feel for you my friend. There's been a lot of days like that for me, and if there isn't a person around in front of me to help lift my spirits, I look for inspiration in other places. Lately I've been listening to videos by Brendon Burchard, and it seems to help me. Here is one about hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 Thanks for the words, keep them coming! I've been doing as much as I can to stay busy, started hiking and traveling a lot which I absolutely love! I did take up kickboxing and lemme tell ya, it's incredible. Been trying to switch jobs etc, guess I just wanted to hear some positivity today. It gets increasingly harder to be positive in life the more setbacks you get, huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snf23 Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Brokenheart99, I feel you. On day 1 of a breakup, dealing with a job that I strongly dislike, feeling lost in life etc . Having a pretty horrible day to be honest and finding it hard to see any positivity in it. I'm so upset I literally feel sick, and I know that I'm letting my emotions consume me but I can't help it. Luckily I have a wonderful family and friend support group, and I'm hoping tomorrow will be a bit better. I've had a rough Fall this year, but all I can do (or any of us) is keep going. I'm sorry to hear of what you're going through, but know that you're not alone! I saw this quote a while ago, and it's been my mantra today. Maybe you'll be able to find some meaning in it too. "If we move too fast, we'll break things. If we move too slow, we'll miss things. But if we don't move at all, we won't see things for how beautiful they truly are." Thinking of you and sending you good thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chamachama Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 I don't really see breaking up as a setback, brokenH. I see it as a stepping stone to finding out whats a better fit for your next experience with someone. I don't regret any of the women I've been serious about in my life. Even my ex-wife who turned my world completely upside down and forced me to start my life completely over again. I learned a ton from that experience. And the two girlfriends (and one 5 monther) after her also taught me invaluable lessons about myself. Today, after going through so much, I now know who I am. I know who I am attracted to. And not only that, I also know the types who are attracted to me... and THAT is some information and understanding that could ONLY have come from those experiences I had with those super unique and incredible women who have graced my life in the past. Even after facing down the fear of the unknown and starting over after 10 years with someone. After the heart wrenching split-ups with girlfriends that followed the divorce. The pangs of desperation and anxiety that comes with splitting up with someone I was super intimate with for extended periods of time. After all of that... I can "honestly" say that I am one of the luckiest men on the planet. Because even though I went through all of that with them, I still got to experience its equal in some of the most incredible experiences a person can have with someone. True chemistry and finding myself with an understanding and acceptance of who I really am. And loving it. It's not a setback. Its a push forward doll... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 Thank you chamachama and snf, that just warmed my heart reading that. You are completely right, every experienxe, bad or good, is a learning experience. There is no choice in life but to be hopeful even in bad times, because what other option is there? "What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." Maybe things will turn out better, I just can't see it yet. Been in the dumps lately but I'm so grateful for my ena community, you guys are the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 Every challenge prepares us for a new gift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rrt123 Posted November 7, 2014 Share Posted November 7, 2014 That was very nice chamachama! I am fairly new hew here and am on week 7 post break up with no contact. It wasn't a long relationship but it was intense from the beginning because we had been friends for several years and knew each other pretty well. Everything was going great, or so I thought, and then one day she just left. She stayed the night and the next day just ended it without much of an explanation. I am still confused and somewhat lost as to what happened which I believe has slowed down the healing process. 5 days out of 7 are decent for the most part but the other 2 can be really bad. Something as simple as hearing a song that she liked or driving by a place we used to go can trigger the emotions which cause me to start thinking about her and us all day almost to the point to where I want to do nothing except lie in bed. Just know that you're not alone in this feeling and lets hope for a better 2015! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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