Dybbuk Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Forgive me I am completely new to relationships... and this is probably a stupid question, but I am going to ask it anyway to get some suggestions. I want to give my boyfriend a BJ. We've been together for quite some time, and have started to enjoy a very active and satisfying sex life. The one thing I notice though is he's never asked me to give him a BJ. Typically I have heard that is the one thing men wish their girlfriends would do more of, but when he and I are together, we foreplay using our hands to get each other aroused and then we immediately have sex. He generally takes the lead in the bedroom, and is pretty dominant during sex and likes to instruct me (which I enjoy too hehe)... so I guess I figured if he really wanted one he might have asked by now... Don't get me wrong, the sex is fantastic! However, I would really love to give him a BJ. I am greatly aroused when I hear him be very vocal in the bedroom, and would like to please him during foreplay as well. So, I suppose I could just come out and say "Do you want a BJ?" but that doesn't seem really sexy and also don't want to give him the impression that I'm expecting oral sex back. To be 100% truthful, I had it performed on me once (by someone else) and I didn't particularly enjoy it. My boyfriend and I have never engaged in oral sex with each other, and I really prefer his hands than a mouth. However, since he's never hinted about wanting one, I am wondering what's the best technique to initiate it that doesn't kill the mood, but also gives me a escape route in case he's not into it either. Help/advise much appreciated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Don't ask him, that's kinda awkward lol... You would have to take a bit of a lead or dominant role on this I'm afraid. When you are in a position where he's lying down (if not you can always push him onto the bed haha, in a sexy way of course not like aggressive lol), get on top of him, start kissing his neck, chest then work your way down there, he'll know what you're doing (or trying to do), no explanation necessary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoagy Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 A BJ is one of those things that does not require build up or conversation. You just have to take the bull by the horns (as it were): Drop his trousers, fish out his John Thomas and get to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dybbuk Posted October 29, 2014 Author Share Posted October 29, 2014 lol... I suppose since I've been so meek and demure throughout our courtship I was worried if I suddenly became very dominant he'd be like "What the heck is up with her?!" I guess like Hoagy said... I just need to grab the bull by the horns... er horn and just trust that if he knows I'm into it, and want to do it... so will he. Thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fresh Air Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 If he's naked and already arroused (and hand action is already in process), that's easier. Just let the kissing lips wander or get I in a position for the HJ that is easily converted to a BJ. Just do it, don't ask. And if you want to bring it up, then mention it in the form of 'I've been fantasizing about ----' or 'I want to suck your ---- so bad right now'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Some men are aroused by oral but do not typically achieve orgasm that way, which I want to mention because common conversation tends to overlook the fact that not all men view oral the same way. That said, the biggest turn on for your man will be him knowing you want to have him in your mouth. If you are already in bed, then kiss him while he is on his back, break from the kiss, and start kissing his neck, his chest, his abdomen, just work your way down so that your intentions are clear. The build up will be slow, allowing you time to get comfortable and allowing him time, too. Read up on different techniques, if you are not that familiar. For foreplay, it can be fun to play with different mouth and tongue movements. The hoover-vacuum thing that people tend to put on film is okay too, but especially for foreplay, it is just one of several ways to give him pleasure. Don't worry about how hard he is, or isn't. Use that as information. If he is soft at first, it may because he is anxious about you being there. If he is really hard, and then a bit softer, it may be a sign he is about to have an orgasm, and from your post, it seems like you want to stop before then. While he is hard, you will want to bring yourself back up his torso to transition to your next move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dybbuk Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 This is all really fantastic information!!! Thanks to the responses here I already have planned what I'm going to say and do... and not ask. Just do it, seems to be the consensus. I was worried maybe he wouldn't be receptive if I came on really strongly, but I think this is something I need to take the lead on so he doesn't feel he needs to request and get the feeling I'm only doing it because he asked me to, not that I wanted to. At least if it's of my own volition he knows I want to do it very much for him. Sorry for the rambling thinking out loud! He'll get a surprise treat this Halloween hahahaha. Thanks everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m444 Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 first of all, its so cute and enthusiastic second of all, when he's laying on his back, just kiss him in that area and just go on on the main thing,slowly. explore, take a deep breath and take your time. concentrate on him and turn your desire into movement. i'm sure it will be great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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