Blue Spiral Posted June 23, 2016 Author Share Posted June 23, 2016 Falling (in love) too easily for someone. Blame that sentence on the Phil Collins song that was just on radio. The broader point is you may be afraid that she'd like you a lot and would like more than a FWB... in the long run. Ahh, I see. I don't know if she's that way in general...but I think she may be that way with me. You're right: despite my self-centered, out-for-sex nature, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. There have been some other situations where I've turned down sex because I suspected that the woman in question actually wanted more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 23, 2016 Share Posted June 23, 2016 Ahh, I see. I don't know if she's that way in general...but I think she may be that way with me. You're right: despite my self-centered, out-for-sex nature, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. There have been some other situations where I've turned down sex because I suspected that the woman in question actually wanted more. Playing the silly game to dupe girls into sleeping with me didn't seem right and certainly far far too much effort.. not to mention I worry a bit about my reputation and this is not what make someone popular with the ladies. Trying to wangle a FWB with a former partner or girlfriend is much less risks and efforts. I have also no intention to hurt anyone, it's just that I may want different type of relationships with different women. Some I could fall and want something long term, others just NSA sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 23, 2016 Author Share Posted June 23, 2016 Yeah, that's one of my issues with PUA-type stuff...it's way too much effort. I am now chatting with two of my former FWBs. One actually messaged me, last night--I didn't have to initiate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 24, 2016 Share Posted June 24, 2016 Everybody need a summer fling or two, are you interested in both? Or do you have to choose only one? I think I read in your journal that you were never in the sitcomesque situation of having multiple FWB rotating at your place every other evening. I can understand why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 24, 2016 Author Share Posted June 24, 2016 I'd be fine with both...and I've definitely had multiple FWBs at the same time, but without the sitcomesque hijinx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 25, 2016 Author Share Posted June 25, 2016 OK, I have ruled out one of the two FWBs. She's too old now. Reading ND40's thread, it's clear that he's been enthusiastic about a number of women, including his current one. I'm trying to think about the last women that I felt enthusiastic about--and that was interested in me--and I'm drawing a blank. My FWBs have definitely been above-average, and I'm attracted to them, but enthusiastic? Not even close, no. And, please, don't think that my standards are unrealistic. I always stay within my own "league", at least in terms of looks. I wonder if I'll ever be enthusiastic about women, again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_LFA Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 OK, I have ruled out one of the two FWBs. She's too old now. In the context of Blue Spiral, how old is, too old? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Too old? That wouldn't be a problem for me.. are you talking 45-50 year old? I've done that a couple times and obviously only as hookups situations because neither of those women wanted a relationship with a ''young'' dude like me. It's an ego boost for sure, well it's actually always an ego boost when a woman find you attractive. You're aging too, Blue. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing as some younger 20s ladies do dig older guys, not all. But as you said you've always been lucky and easily found sexual partners, with a little effort... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 25, 2016 Author Share Posted June 25, 2016 In the context of Blue Spiral, how old is, too old? I'm honestly not sure how old she is--mid-forties, maybe--but I am no longer attracted to her. I suppose I should say that it's less about age and more about looks. You're aging too, Blue. Don't remind me! Which isn't necessarily a bad thing as some younger 20s ladies do dig older guys, not all. But as you said you've always been lucky and easily found sexual partners, with a little effort... Yeah, we'll see how long I can get away with it. If I can't, ehh, there's always cam models and video games. (Now, if you want to talk about something I'm enthusiastic about...!) My thing is that...I don't change. When I was 19, I was attracted to women aged 18-45. I'm now 37, and I'm attracted to...women aged 18-45. As I get really old (45+), I don't think that I'm magically going to be attracted to women my own age. So, unless I suddenly become wealthy, I suppose it's a good thing that I'm winding down my sex life, because I'll need to get used to it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Yeah, we'll see how long I can get away with it. If I can't, ehh, there's always cam models and video games. (Now, if you want to talk about something I'm enthusiastic about...!) We've been down this road before here but I'd personally rather spend money on an escort than on a cam model. I know for a fact though that you'd rather follow the law so that's out for you. But if I should spend money for sex rather go for that than pay for masturbation. y thing is that...I don't change. When I was 19, I was attracted to women aged 18-45. I'm now 37, and I'm attracted to...women aged 18-45. As I get really old (45+), I don't think that I'm magically going to be attracted to women my own age. So, unless I suddenly become wealthy, I suppose it's a good thing that I'm winding down my sex life, because I'll need to get used to it... I generally agree and feel the same, but I'm finding myself rather more attracted to younger women as I age whereas I chose some older ones when I was in my twenties. Yet I agree for 20-45 as my age range too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 25, 2016 Author Share Posted June 25, 2016 We've been down this road before here but I'd personally rather spend money on an escort than on a cam model. I know for a fact though that you'd rather follow the law so that's out for you. But if I should spend money for sex rather go for that than pay for masturbation. Hopefully this isn't TMI, but, I don't actually do that when watching cam models. Only my favorite cam model has ever gotten to see me, and she's always shocked. According to her, I'm the only guy in her chatroom who isn't jerking off. I generally agree and feel the same, but I'm finding myself rather more attracted to younger women as I age whereas I chose some older ones when I was in my twenties. Yet I agree for 20-45 as my age range too. Same here, strangely enough. When I was in my early/mid-twenties, I was all about women in their early/mid-thirties. Now, though? I can't stand them (mostly for personality reasons). When it was casual, I liked them; now that they expect something serious, um, not so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Exactly. I once liked them a decade older, and now like them a decade younger. Unlike you I'm not projecting myself in ten years but I guess I'll be into 30s women by then. Not women half my age, unless I become wealthy. Unlikely. Personality speaking, there's a huge gap between women my age and much younger. Being childless I feel I'm aging even faster, I'm annoyed at popular culture, the Kardashian, social medias... I'm picky when it comes to movies and music. And I quit playing video games. I wouldn't make a good father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 26, 2016 Author Share Posted June 26, 2016 Ironically, I'm the opposite...I'm extremely young at heart. And I am pro-Kardashian in the sense that I'm all for anything that encourages women to be more sexual/get naked more often. Admittedly, I don't know much about this Kardashian beyond a visual level... I'm not into social media, either, but that's more due to me being asocial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 I don't hate the Kardashian specifically, it's just their mediatization. Or ''real'' TV for that matter. I have few reasons to be on social medias at all, I have very few friends and I can reach out to them differently. I own a smartphone, a Gmail account. Otoh, I use the Internet fairly often, I'm all for YT, wikipedia, entertainment and educational websites or forums. Biologically, I could already be the father of an early teen, 11-12 year old. I like children, but I don't think one would be so happy with a father like myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 26, 2016 Author Share Posted June 26, 2016 Heh...I've never been on FB, and I only briefly had a MySpace account, probably after it had stopped being popular... Why do you think they wouldn't be happy with you as a father? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Because being a parent require some daily social skills because of school, their activities, sports and friends. I'm not a mean person. Just sometimes grumpy but I can't force a children to live my existence. Are you still talking to the former FWB you haven't ruled out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 27, 2016 Author Share Posted June 27, 2016 I suppose that my lack of social skills would make me a poor parent, as well. Luckily, I never had any desire to be one in the first place. I'm still talking to her, yeah. In fact, she sent me some more pictures, last night. The last few weeks have been (mostly) great for me. I've gotten a lot done, I've had a lot of fun... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 My social skills are pretty decent but the reason why I'd make a dud parent is because I really enjoy doing things for myself and I don't want to drop my whole life on its head to care for a growing human. That's it really. I know that sometimes some people say that it's "selfish" and shame people but I don't believe in shaming people like that. If you're an adult and you want to limit responsibilities because you don't want to meet them, that's responsible and I don't understand why people look down on that. If someone wants the responsibility of having a child, then good for them but being able to look at yourself honestly and say "nope not for me" is something that should be LAUDED, not shamed. I'm glad you're having a good time, BS. I am having a good time here too. Weather is just lovely and I've been pulling extra hours so that means extra money! Enjoy the summer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 I'm still talking to her, yeah. In fact, she sent me some more pictures, last night. That's virtual communication. But if she does so, she is encouraging you to a real life encounter. I think neither of me, BS and Fudgie are going to have children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted July 7, 2016 Author Share Posted July 7, 2016 I didn't want to further hijack ND's thread, so: I think your mom and your grandmother's behavior explain a lot about how you turned out. Poor you. You were and are still surrounded by idiots. Present company included, I take it? More seriously: no, they aren't idiots. They're just a little crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Hows the summer treating you so far Blue? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted July 8, 2016 Author Share Posted July 8, 2016 Very well, thanks for asking. I'm (mostly) avoiding women and enjoying life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 That's a rather not very wordy response but it's good you're feeling great and enjoying life. Avoiding women... So, I take it your FWBs sending you pics and chatting is passe again ? Enjoy the eye candies when driving or walking around at least. It's the summer amd women wear much lighter clothes. More importantly.. Dont you wanna get laid at all these days? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted July 9, 2016 Author Share Posted July 9, 2016 Full disclosure: I did fall off the celibacy wagon. I hooked up with the FWB I mentioned...but it wasn't really worth the effort. She's nice, and she's pretty attractive, but I feel like I could do a lot better. So I sort of shrugged my shoulders and went back to my normal routine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted July 10, 2016 Author Share Posted July 10, 2016 Oh, man. My oldest friend--who's always been far more relationship-seeking than me--has finally given up on finding a relationship. He's had some financial issues and health issues, but you couldn't find a nicer guy, and he's been experiencing pretty much nothing but rejection for a decade and a half. He's had a few short-lived things that were relationship-y, but they were even shorter than my own relationships, I'm afraid. Unlike me, he actually wanted a relationship, and he's been trying really hard all this time. He isn't completely blameless in this...he's made some mistakes, and not addressed certain issues...but they weren't the sort of things that should keep him from having any relationship at all. I feel really badly for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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