Mr_LFA Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 I wish that I could communicate exclusively through PC-based messaging programs. If I want to talk to women, I go online. If I don't, I stay offline and never have to hear from them. Sounds like you should be back in 1995 (ahh the '90s) lol Unfortunately, today, we're 'wired in' 24/7. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 Yeah, I try to avoid initiating too much, as well. (Well, I try to avoid it entirely...!) On a somewhat related note, I always laugh when women on ENA say that they tried pursuing, and it didn't work, so it must be a sign that women shouldn't pursue. If men had that attitude, we'd have to give up entirely after our first few rejections. Pursuing doesn't work for anyone, on average. And the one stuck initiating is usually the one in the weaker bargaining position, sadly. I don't like texting that much...not because I'm old-fashioned (ha), but because I hate constant communication. I wish that I could communicate exclusively through PC-based messaging programs. If I want to talk to women, I go online. If I don't, I stay offline and never have to hear from them. I've developed a number of women-related strategies, over the years...but I'm sometimes too lazy to employ them. When I care enough to use them, though, they're surprisingly effective. Depend what rejections you may be talking about, but since it's Blue Spiral I assume these are online rejections. Here we differ, I don't care one bit to be rejected online, the other week a woman my age politely told me ''sorry not interested'' after checking out my message and profile. Why should I be baffled? She wasn't even really attractive, and maybe even not within my league without false modesty but I don't mind, it happens. On the other hand I'm sometimes in touch with very attractive women who happen to be interested, however I as wrote earlier, there's always another bigger fish and they get on average 50 messages and 150 visits a day. About texting: old fashioned has nothing to do with it. Texting was invented 21 years ago and we were barely teenagers, though I only got a cellphone back in 1999 but I've enjoyed it since. I'll admit to text less now. Almost never even. What about the former FWB who called you sweetie last time ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 Sounds like you should be back in 1995 (ahh the '90s) lol Unfortunately, today, we're 'wired in' 24/7. I didn't even have a computer in '95. That said, I admit to being nostalgic for the pre-smartphone, personal-computer-based stuff. If I messaged a woman and she replied, I knew that she was home, and possibly able to get on cam. Now, I can message a woman, and she'll reply...but she can be at the grocery store or something. Ugh. Depend what rejections you may be talking about, but since it's Blue Spiral I assume these are online rejections. Here we differ, I don't care one bit to be rejected online, the other week a woman my age politely told me ''sorry not interested'' after checking out my message and profile. Why should I be baffled? She wasn't even really attractive, and maybe even not within my league without false modesty but I don't mind, it happens. On the other hand I'm sometimes in touch with very attractive women who happen to be interested, however I as wrote earlier, there's always another bigger fish and they get on average 50 messages and 150 visits a day. I was extremely fragile when I started out with women, and my first few rejections sort of destroyed me. I'm used to them now, mind you, though it's sort of like death by a thousand cuts. About texting: old fashioned has nothing to do with it. Texting was invented 21 years ago and we were barely teenagers, though I only got a cellphone back in 1999 but I've enjoyed it since. I'll admit to text less now. Almost never even. I had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the cell phone era. I've had a cell phone for less than ten years. What about the former FWB who called you sweetie last time ? We're still talking, but it's pretty irregular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maker Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 Blue Spiral, it took me quite a while to go through the entirety of your journal at a casual pace and it has been a very interesting read! Especially your mentions of how women react when you don't play by their rules, that's something worth considering. As you may already know from my forum posts, I'm not particularly great at romance and everything that goes with it. With ten more years of experience, would you say that women are worth it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 Blue Spiral, it took me quite a while to go through the entirety of your journal at a casual pace and it has been a very interesting read! Thanks; I'm glad you enjoyed it. Especially your mentions of how women react when you don't play by their rules, that's something worth considering. I'm not really into social interaction at all...but, god, the slowly-dawning realization of "wait this guy isn't going to buy meals for me and pretend to be impressed by me"...I genuinely enjoy that, and wish that I could put it in a bottle. As you may already know from my forum posts, I'm not particularly great at romance and everything that goes with it. With ten more years of experience, would you say that women are worth it? On average, no, I wouldn't. Some are certainly worth it, but women of that caliber are increasingly unattainable, IMHO. Their expectations and demands are skyrocketing all the time. (And the same goes for women not of that caliber, though they may think they are. There was a woman that wanted to know whether or not I owned a big house, had a high-paying job, had a nice car, etc. She refused to go out with a guy that wasn't "established". She was living with her parents and unemployed.) Dealing with women that actually are worth it, and know they are...I liken it to looking for buried treasure in shark-infested waters. You might get lucky, but, more realistically, you'll just destroy yourself in the attempt. In short, the average woman isn't worth it, and "worth it" women are nigh-unobtainable. I'd rather avoid the hassle, so...! That said, if you can get sex with a hot woman without having to make too much effort, you might as well go for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 BS, Have you ever considered the possibility that you may enjoy the company of a woman (or heck, just people in general) who are a lot like you and have similar interests, like to stay in, etc? Don't get mad at me, I'm just wondering. I had a great chemistry TA back in college, she was actually diagnosed Aspergers, which is very uncommon for females. She pegged me for a fellow Aspergerian and I told her that she was mistaken but frankly, I was a little flattered that she thought I was. She was very "no nonsense", very smart, not manipulative, truthful, and just enjoyable to be around. She was smart and took a genuine interest in the world around her. I really wish we had kept in touch but she and I are both really bad at that. My Aspie friend (male) is very much the same as her and I enjoy his company too. Again, no nonsense, speaks his mind, common interests, etc. In such a situation, would you find it enjoyable to be platonic friends with someone like that? Do you think you wouldn't under any circumstances or is it just impossible to find someone you can jive with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 BS, Have you ever considered the possibility that you may enjoy the company of a woman (or heck, just people in general) who are a lot like you and have similar interests, like to stay in, etc? I don't think there's anyone a lot like me. There may be people who are similarly asocial, but, in terms of priorities, interests, behavior...nah. A few may come close, but they're probably on the other side of the planet. (I've withheld my true weirdness from ENA; "Blue Spiral" is just the tip of the iceberg.) I do have a friend that I have a lot in common with, though he's much more social than I am. I last saw him...over a decade ago, and I could go another decade and be just fine. He's probably the only real friend I ever had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 I don't think there's anyone a lot like me. There may be people who are similarly asocial, but, in terms of priorities, interests, behavior...nah. A few may come close, but they're probably on the other side of the planet. (I've withheld my true weirdness from ENA; "Blue Spiral" is just the tip of the iceberg. The question is, could you be friend with someone like that ? Not saying you'd hang out at each other place and play video games or netflix every evening. Just the broader point of having a friend, a lot like you to spend time with? Also, if there was a female Blue Spiral in your town, would you consider a relationship with her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 11, 2016 Author Share Posted June 11, 2016 The question is, could you be friend with someone like that ? Not saying you'd hang out at each other place and play video games or netflix every evening. Just the broader point of having a friend, a lot like you to spend time with? I don't know if I've ever had a real "in-person" friend, so it's hard to say. The friend I mentioned...I mean, I knew him back in high school, but I didn't really hang out with him outside of school. I did go to one of his birthday parties, though. We talk regularly (which started after we graduated), but, as I said, he lives elsewhere. Also, if there was a female Blue Spiral in your town, would you consider a relationship with her? That's a good question. Would my ego and narcissism cause me to be instantly attracted to her, or would my self-awareness cause me to run screaming in the other direction? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 11, 2016 Share Posted June 11, 2016 That's a good question. Would my ego and narcissism cause me to be instantly attracted to her, or would my self-awareness cause me to run screaming in the other direction? You know yourself better than anyone, I don't know the odds for finding your counterpart but I'm guessing not in your town. That said, there are tons of asocials from either gender around, I don't know if they are hardwired to live together though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 11, 2016 Author Share Posted June 11, 2016 You know yourself better than anyone, I don't know the odds for finding your counterpart but I'm guessing not in your town. That said, there are tons of asocials from either gender around, I don't know if they are hardwired to live together though. I just don't quite understand what the appeal is supposed to be. If I want to be asocial, I can do it by myself, I don't need another person around to help me. When I interact with people, I literally have two trains of thought. For women that I want to sleep with: "Why aren't we having sex? If we aren't having sex, I want her to stop talking to me, so I can go home." For everyone else: "Why is this person talking to me? Go away, dammit. I want to go home." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 I just don't quite understand what the appeal is supposed to be. If I want to be asocial, I can do it by myself, I don't need another person around to help me. When I interact with people, I literally have two trains of thought. For women that I want to sleep with: "Why aren't we having sex? If we aren't having sex, I want her to stop talking to me, so I can go home." For everyone else: "Why is this person talking to me? Go away, dammit. I want to go home." Some people are just not cut out to be that lonely. Afraid of being alone, frightened of boredom. Personally, I'm pretty lonely most evening but afraid of neither, with the difference that I sometimes reach out to people. Unlike you. And not only for sex (though...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_LFA Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 All Quiet on the Blue Spiral front? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 20, 2016 Author Share Posted June 20, 2016 Pretty much, yeah. I've had some contact with a former FWB, but beyond that, nothing. I go through periods where I'm not very interested in other people; this is one of them. (Well, technically, I would be interested in certain women, but I suspect that they wouldn't be interested in me, so there's no point in thinking about it.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Why not lower your standards for trying to get less attractive women? I suspect you're not even interested in getting laid these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 20, 2016 Author Share Posted June 20, 2016 Why not lower your standards for trying to get less attractive women? I suspect you're not even interested in getting laid these days. I don't quite understand what you mean by that. You mean putting in more effort? If so...ehh, they aren't worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 I don't quite understand what you mean by that. You mean putting in more effort? If so...ehh, they aren't worth it. I was trying to make the point that ''less'' attractive women are more accessible to men. If you target attractive to hot women, I agree that it might be an effort. The other question was : Don't you care about getting laid at all? It's been a while since you dropped the waitress who was your last FWB? (Correct me if I'm wrong I'm only relying on my memory reading this journal.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 21, 2016 Author Share Posted June 21, 2016 I was trying to make the point that ''less'' attractive women are more accessible to men. If you target attractive to hot women, I agree that it might be an effort. If I'm not attracted to the women in question, I just don't see the point. Be assured, though, that I'm not going after 9s and 10s or something. I stay within my league. The other question was : Don't you care about getting laid at all? It's been a while since you dropped the waitress who was your last FWB? (Correct me if I'm wrong I'm only relying on my memory reading this journal.) Oh, I care...but it's not the main focus of my life, either. (Despite what it may seem like on here.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 21, 2016 Author Share Posted June 21, 2016 Hmm...one of my former FWBs sent me some pictures...and I'm tempted... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 Hmm...one of my former FWBs sent me some pictures...and I'm tempted... Sexting... when a woman want something... Go ahead, not much to lose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 Blue, I suspect you might be busy hanging out with her already or just phone/texting her, but can you tell more? At least what you want to share? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 22, 2016 Author Share Posted June 22, 2016 Relevant details: 1. She's hot (and cute!). 2. She's gloriously sexual. 3. I actually like her. But I fear that she may like me a bit too much, which is why I've been hesitant to start things up, again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 Relevant details: 1. She's hot (and cute!). 2. She's gloriously sexual. 3. I actually like her. But I fear that she may like me a bit too much, which is why I've been hesitant to start things up, again. Two good points out of three. Are you afraid that she's an easy lover? How do you remember her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 22, 2016 Author Share Posted June 22, 2016 I have very positive memories of her--and recent ones, as that was just a year ago, or something. What do you mean by "easy lover"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesT2 Posted June 23, 2016 Share Posted June 23, 2016 I have very positive memories of her--and recent ones, as that was just a year ago, or something. What do you mean by "easy lover"? Falling (in love) too easily for someone. Blame that sentence on the Phil Collins song that was just on radio. The broader point is you may be afraid that she'd like you a lot and would like more than a FWB... in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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