annie24 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I'm already talking with several women from the site, so things are going surprisingly well, in that department. Unfortunately, one of them has already made it clear that she's looking for something serious. I told her I wasn't, but she keeps messaging me anyway. blah - she's just setting herself up for failure. All of us know couples who got together just wanting a fling, and then it wound up being something serious. it sounds like she's hoping you'll change your mind?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Well, my last conversation happened in an awkward manner: I was struggling with a mundane task that should have been easy, and the guy called me. So, while I was talking with the guy, I kept thinking "I can't even handle this easy thing, so how can I handle something that's much more complicated??" In other news...I re-activated my profile on what I jokingly call my "pimping site". Am I using women as a form of escapism? Yes, yes I am. Why is the easy thing so complicated? I don't know what you're talking about but I know in my field, there are definitely things like that - easy in theory but a million ways to screw it up in the lab. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted August 10, 2015 Author Share Posted August 10, 2015 blah - she's just setting herself up for failure. All of us know couples who got together just wanting a fling, and then it wound up being something serious. it sounds like she's hoping you'll change your mind?? I must be irresistible to these commitment-seeking women! I seem all safe and settled... Why is the easy thing so complicated? I don't know what you're talking about but I know in my field, there are definitely things like that - easy in theory but a million ways to screw it up in the lab. The easy thing is barely even work-related; it was a silly thing that I was having an inordinate amount of trouble with. More comical than anything. In other news, I'm getting replies from a surprising amount of women, right now. And they're actually real, and not bots or scammers (well, except for one). This is making me strangely optimistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 blah - she's just setting herself up for failure. All of us know couples who got together just wanting a fling, and then it wound up being something serious. it sounds like she's hoping you'll change your mind?? Maybe they're young? When I was 21, I liked the challenge of a guy that wasn't interested in long term. "You don't like me? Oh..you will." Kind of thing. My daughters father didn't want anything long term initially. But then he wanted to move in...and then when I found out I was pregnant, instead of aborting (which at the time I thought was a better option) he wanted to get married and buy a house. I converted him. But he sucked at being a husband...so it was doomed. That changed everything for me. I think it was the movies that made me think some men just needed to be converted (like love and other drugs, etc)...we live and learn, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted August 10, 2015 Author Share Posted August 10, 2015 Maybe they're young? Actually, the women I'm chatting with right now are roughly my age...which is unusual, because women my age usually don't like me. This has been true since I was in my mid-twenties. Maybe, now that I'm a little older, I've finally gotten past the waves of first-marriage-seeking women?? One woman I'm chatting with is way out of my league. I don't have a chance, but it's certainly nice to have my existence acknowledged by a woman like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 You'd be surprised, even some 30-something year olds believe in the whole "maybe I can change his mind" thing. It's a real problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMifune Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 You'd be surprised, even some 30-something year olds believe in the whole "maybe I can change his mind" thing. It's a real problem. Isn't this really the entire premise of Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey; A woman being sooooo special that she can turn a guy into something he's not but at the same time somehow have him hang onto that edge that she found attractive in the first place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Isn't this really the entire premise of Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey; A woman being sooooo special that she can turn a guy into something he's not but at the same time somehow have him hang onto that edge that she found attractive in the first place? yup.... fiction. Both are kind of horrible (50 is actually based on Twilight!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted August 10, 2015 Author Share Posted August 10, 2015 You'd be surprised, even some 30-something year olds believe in the whole "maybe I can change his mind" thing. It's a real problem. I've run into several of them, yeah. Isn't this really the entire premise of Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey; A woman being sooooo special that she can turn a guy into something he's not but at the same time somehow have him hang onto that edge that she found attractive in the first place? So, just like what women are looking for in real life? Seriously: on a semi-related note, I love living in 2015. Women don't always care if a man can be monogamous or not, the Sexual Revolution keeps moving forward, all sorts of stuff is going mainstream (50 Shades is horribly-written crap, but I hope that someone writes horribly-written crap for the stuff that I'm into, to get women interested in it), there are webcams and cell phone cameras and plenty of women willing to use them...wow. It won't be long before we get good VR porn, or the male version of the pill (which should change society just as radically as the female version did). My only regret is that I wasn't born even later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 Oooh, a former FWB just found me on the site, and she's still single. (And hot, based on recent pics.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 I hadn't been on the site all day...and when I was finally able to get on, I saw that I had six messages. I don't expect this amount of success to last, but it's certainly enjoyable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Women realizing that summer is coming to an end and they need to have a summer fling, stat? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 Women realizing that summer is coming to an end and they need to have a summer fling, stat? I've been on this site for many years, and I never experienced any late-summer surges that I can recall. Granted, let's be honest, I don't really care why it's happening... Today's funny thing: a Nigerian scammer tried to convince me that she ("she"?) was actually a famous actress. How did she go about this, you ask? Well, she copy/pasted from what appeared to be an IMDB or Wiki bio...and forgot to change third-person to first-person. So "(actress' full name) was in this movie and that movie and (actress' full name) was in this TV show and..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 In another thread on ENA, I suspect I'm about to get in trouble for Evil Male-type stuff. In my attempts to hit on a woman, she's telling me that I'm probably too enlightened for my own good, and that I should be more caveman-ish (my word, not hers). Am I the true, perfect balance between these two extremes?? I may have just discovered my destiny... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick974 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I've been on this site for many years, and I never experienced any late-summer surges that I can recall. Granted, let's be honest, I don't really care why it's happening... Today's funny thing: a Nigerian scammer tried to convince me that she ("she"?) was actually a famous actress. How did she go about this, you ask? Well, she copy/pasted from what appeared to be an IMDB or Wiki bio...and forgot to change third-person to first-person. So "(actress' full name) was in this movie and that movie and (actress' full name) was in this TV show and..." Shame on you if the scammer used Halley Berry picture and you didnt recognize her. More seriously Blue. I havent posted in a while here and you are back to the FWB thing that you gave up to last year? You seem to be going in circles. Need to recharge your battery every now and then maybe. Leave the world, fwb, friends, family and be back once in a while. I appreciate your journal. You remind me of LonelyPast. I am a bit like both of you, though you guys are more eloquent. Loneliness still hasnt killed any of us three. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 More seriously Blue. I havent posted in a while here and you are back to the FWB thing that you gave up to last year? You seem to be going in circles. Need to recharge your battery every now and then maybe. Leave the world, fwb, friends, family and be back once in a while. I appreciate your journal. You remind me of LonelyPast. I am a bit like both of you, though you guys are more eloquent. Loneliness still hasnt killed any of us three. Thank you, I appreciate the input. I've been recharging my batteries and keeping to myself for...however long it's been now. I don't mind being a cyclical person. Sometimes I'm happy doing my own stuff, and sometimes I want sex. Ironically, I pretty much never get lonely. My need for other people is strictly physical in nature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 ...and it takes me an hour to realize that I need to wish you good luck in dealing with your loneliness/overall situation. Sorry about that. Between my lack of social skills and self-absorption...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick974 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Thanks. Np. I have to reread my own posts sometimes for spelling or adding infos. I am actually not really miserable and got to see friends since last weekend. Ive been single for some time and I am far less sociable as a single. Always need a girl for outside stuffs. However this is before all your journal. Not mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Thanks. Np. I have to reread my own posts sometimes for spelling or adding infos. I am actually not really miserable and got to see friends since last weekend. Ive been single for some time and I am far less sociable as a single. Always need a girl for outside stuffs. However this is before all your journal. Not mine. As the name of my thread may imply, I've never been very sociable in general...my girlfriends dragged me a few places, but we never "hung out" with friends or went to events as a couple. They wanted to, of course. I'm glad to hear that you're not really miserable. Suffice to say, this women/relationship stuff is extremely difficult for many men, and these struggles are just sort of glossed over by most people. In my opinion, the best way to deal with it is to make sure that your self-worth isn't dependent on other people. There are things in life that make me extremely happy, and keep me fulfilled...and they have pretty nothing to do with other people. If we place all of our happiness in what others think of us, and whether or not we can (or even want to) establish the sorts of relationships that society thinks we should, our emotions will always be held hostage by others. On a much less intellectual note, I'm happy to say that most of the women I'm currently chatting with look extremely attractive, albeit based only on pics. One of them, however, has dozens of pics...but none of them show her below her boobs. I'm thinking that might be a red flag. For the record, I'm chatting with women who range in age from their late twenties to late thirties, though I also messaged (but haven't heard back from) a few women in their early forties. I haven't heard back from my past FWB, but I'm continuing to chat with the woman who wants a traditional/serious relationship. I doubt I have a chance with her based on what she wants, but she seems to like flirting with me. I'm also chatting with women that range from "ideal/possible" to "probably no chance". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarisse Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I loved your statement about being an equalist; men being feminists and women being masculinists and watching out for the other gender. Completely agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 I loved your statement about being an equalist; men being feminists and women being masculinists and watching out for the other gender. Completely agree. Thank you! Well, I have three strong FWB candidates, thus far. Granted, one is the former FWB I mentioned, but two are new. Of the two new ones, I'd say that one is an extremely strong possibility, and the other is fairly strong. (Neither one is the relationship-seeking woman I mentioned. I did talk her into sending me a pic of her in a bra, though.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick974 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 The good thing about a former FWB is that you know where you are headed. Sexually, I mean if thats what you both only want. As for the two new candidates... Discovering something new is enjoyable as well. Keep us updated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jesus83 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Maybe they're young? When I was 21, I liked the challenge of a guy that wasn't interested in long term. "You don't like me? Oh..you will." Kind of thing. My daughters father didn't want anything long term initially. But then he wanted to move in...and then when I found out I was pregnant, instead of aborting (which at the time I thought was a better option) he wanted to get married and buy a house. I converted him. But he sucked at being a husband...so it was doomed. That changed everything for me. I think it was the movies that made me think some men just needed to be converted (like love and other drugs, etc)...we live and learn, right? Now you a beautiful daughter though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted August 13, 2015 Author Share Posted August 13, 2015 The good thing about a former FWB is that you know where you are headed. Sexually, I mean if thats what you both only want. As for the two new candidates... Discovering something new is enjoyable as well. Keep us updated. Here's an update for you: Things are looking good with the former FWB, and I have a good feeling about the more ideal of the other two candidates, but the third one is fading a bit. Thankfully, I already have a number of possible replacements lined up. The out-of-my-league woman I mentioned earlier has pretty much entirely faded--but I expected that. I'm guessing that she must be swamped with attention, and my no-pic self probably doesn't seem very impressive in comparison. Also, there's the whole low-effort thing. If I thought I had a chance with her, I'd work a little harder, because she really is that hot...but I'm working with a limited amount of energy/interest, here. (Referring to my return to FWBs, not her specifically.) I don't want to get burnt out too early. My lack of chasing is definitely confusing some of these women. One keeps telling me that I'm on my "last chance" to "man up" and win her over...I stopped messaging her the night before last, but those messages keep coming. I also stopped messaging the relationship-seeking woman, and I eventually got a confused/insecure message from her. She seems perfectly nice, and she's fairly attractive, but she seems to think she can shame me into monogamy, somehow. I just started talking with an extremely cute brunette last night. We'll see how that goes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick974 Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 You are on a roll. Be cautious with flakiness. Ive once had 4/5 ladies interested and only one turned out to be an actual date that led nowhere. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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