Silverbirch Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 I recall my ex mother-in-law who overall I got on very well with - telling me before I had even had my son that she was just "over" the whole kid thing because it felt to her that most of her life had been about bringing up kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick974 Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 BS, I dont know if you have ever stated it but are you an only child ? If you have some siblings your parents might have another chance of being grandparents. Im speaking as an only child whos most likely to never have children and as you said, Id rather not repeat them this fact too often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 BS, I dont know if you have ever stated it but are you an only child ? If you have some siblings your parents might have another chance of being grandparents. Im speaking as an only child whos most likely to never have children and as you said, Id rather not repeat them this fact too often. I am indeed an only child. What, the spoiled egomania didn't give it away?? ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted May 12, 2015 Author Share Posted May 12, 2015 In other news, one of my former FWBs contacted me, today! Receiving unsolicited attention from a woman = I was so stunned that I briefly forgot what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 My son and his gf are both only children. He says that is part of the reason they have a special rapport. He told me it does play a part in why neither of them plan to ever marry and/or have children. I feel relieved that my son has been best friends with young man his age since high school,mand they ate like brothers. They have both travelled separately and met up together overseas. That is a weight off my shoulders because I know I would worry a lot if ai thought that when his father and I are both dead, he won't have people who are close to him like family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted May 12, 2015 Author Share Posted May 12, 2015 My son and his gf are both only children. He says that is part of the reason they have a special rapport. He told me it does play a part in why neither of them plan to ever marry and/or have children. My first gf was an only child, as well, and she also never wanted to have children...but she did want to get married. I feel relieved that my son has been best friends with young man his age since high school,mand they ate like brothers. They have both travelled separately and met up together overseas. That is a weight off my shoulders because I know I would worry a lot if ai thought that when his father and I are both dead, he won't have people who are close to him like family. I've never been much of a "friends" person. I basically have one friend, and I haven't seen him in about a decade, though we talk/text almost every day. True story: I can remember sitting in a class in junior high; the class was basically an odds-and-ends thing where they combined home ec (cooking, balancing a checkbook, etc.) with a lot of random social stuff. I no longer remember why, but, the teacher asked us to make a list of who we'd invite to a party--i.e., a list of friends. I could only come up with two people, and they were the sons of one of my dad's friends, who lived out of town. I saw them a few times a year, maybe. I think I got a bad grade for it, because the teacher thought I wasn't putting enough effort into it. She didn't believe that I really didn't have many friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 She shouldn't have given you a bad grade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 She shouldn't have given you a bad grade. I agree! These days I think there would be a lot more sensitivity to children who might be on the shyer side or simply might not feel, that day, like listing who their friends are. At least I hope there would be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted May 12, 2015 Author Share Posted May 12, 2015 Well, now that I've generated some goodwill/sympathy by telling you a story from my childhood, I'm going to promptly throw it out the window. Welcome to the "Pimping Diary" subsection of my thread! Ripping off--er, riffing off of ND40 and miss marple: let's talk about ANNIE, shall we? ANNIE is 33 (I think), 34DD (definitely sure), has brown hair, and is in reasonably good shape. Her DTF status is "Ideal". ANNIE is the former FWB that contacted me. I replied, and I'm waiting to hear back from her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Hey, I'll write you later today! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted May 12, 2015 Author Share Posted May 12, 2015 Hey, I'll write you later today! ...oops. That wasn't a Freudian slip, I swear; I'm just going in alphabetical order. Though I doubt I'll get past C or D, given my current apathy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted May 14, 2015 Author Share Posted May 14, 2015 "Wow, you're still the same!" I commonly hear variations of this whenever I re-establish contact with a woman that I haven't seen or talked to in a while. Sometimes, it's said with amazement: "Geez, you still look exactly the same." Sometimes, it's amusement: "Still chasing women, huh?" And, for some, it's said with a high degree of annoyed shock. "You still aren't in a relationship??" "I thought you'd have grown up, by now." "God, you're still in your same old routine, you never change. That isn't healthy." I'm happy to report that ANNIE (not that Annie!) mainly fell into the first two categories. It's been...five or six years, I think, and I haven't changed much at all, beyond some improvement in certain areas. I still look and act and think the same, and this apparently amazed/amused her. She, on the other hand, has really changed. Five or so years ago, ANNIE decided that she wanted a relationship, so she married a guy and had some kids. They recently got divorced. It sounded like a lot of drama, frankly. I tend to get wrapped up in my own problems and issues, but I have it much easier than most people, apparently. That's by design; I lead as low-stress a life as possible, because I'm just not built for all this anxiety-inducing stuff. ANNIE said that she missed me, and missed talking with me. I used my usual lines/narratives (all of which happen to be true; no deception or PUA tactics here) and got a positive response. As is my custom, I immediately flirted with her in an extremely sexual way, which is something I do to weed out the non-DTF. My main obstacle, should I choose to pursue, is geography: she moved elsewhere in the state, but she's thinking about moving back. Visual report: some pics, no cam. From the boobs up, she looks as good as ever...but that can be misleading, so further evaluation is warranted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 good luck!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted May 16, 2015 Author Share Posted May 16, 2015 Well, that was easy enough. It only took two convos to win ANNIE over, apparently, because she wants me to "come visit" sometime. ANNIE thinks that I need a vacation. Should I agree, I'll be staying at her place, in her bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Sounds like fun for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted May 18, 2015 Author Share Posted May 18, 2015 Mad Men finale tonight! I can't wait. The most popular theory I've seen: that Don creates the "I'd like to buy the world a Coke" ad. The craziest theory I've seen: that Don is actually the legendary D.B. Cooper. My personal hope: with Sally raised, Betty possibly dead, and Don not having much of a connection to his other kids, he walks away from his life and creates an entirely new identity. ("Wait," you ask, "you want Don to abandon his kids?" I believe that Don isn't much of a role model for them, and Henry is probably a better dad. Also, frankly, his current life is more trouble than it's worth. My boy Walter White should've cut bait long before he did; I hope Don gets away clean.) And so ends the Golden Age of TV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted May 18, 2015 Author Share Posted May 18, 2015 I greatly enjoyed the MM finale. Especially the ending, which could be read multiple ways. I didn't talk to ANNIE, today. I was all about her on Friday and Saturday, but today, I was occupied by other stuff. I haven't made up my mind about her. This is sort of reminding me of the potential FWBs I had last summer; the ones I couldn't get interested in. I'm attracted to her, but not super-attracted, and I sometimes get the feeling that she secretly wants something serious. I also get the feeling that she doesn't like my indecisiveness, and that she'll give up on me if I don't "make a move". If she does give up on me, well, so be it. You'll never hear me say many good things about my social skills, but, should I decide to stop being celibate and go back to FWBs, I have faith in my abilities to get at least one. I may not be able to do really advanced relational stuff, but I can do that. Unfortunately, there's some life-related stuff that's trying to stress me out, which has been extremely annoying. I'm usually pretty spoiled in this area; my biggest problem tends to be "omg, I ran out of my favorite candy." (And I totally just did!) When serious stuff actually happens...yeah. I'm not really built for that. I don't go to pieces or anything--I'm the calm one--but I don't really have the ability to actually deal with whatever it is. I did manage to successfully avoid it for most of today, however. Avoidance, denial, and withdrawing are the most commonly-used tools in my proverbial utility belt. (The most recent Dougie thread freaked me out a little, as well.) Do I get to get up at my usual time, tomorrow? No, I have to get up early, because of the aforementioned life-related problems. Ugh. And I am watching my new favorite cam-woman instead of going to bed early... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 What about getting a woman to have sex with you has to do with social skills? If it's only about making a plan to meet up and have sex that's not really about socializing - it shows you know how to communicate that you would like to have sex and the other person also wants to have sex with you and therefore agrees. Perhaps manipulative -and I only write that because you seemed pleased with yourself that in "two convos" you convinced her to make a plan to meet up and have sex - do you think that is why Annie might believe you are also interested in her as a person/potential date? Maybe your attraction decreased because she is not enough of a challenge for you and seems to want what you don't want to offer. After 5-6 years of no contact it doesn't sound like there is any significant "F" in the FWB euphemism. Obviously you probably have far better social skills than you give yourself credit for but I don't think social skills really factor into making a plan to have sex with someone you knew in the past. I am sorry about the life stresses and hope they are resolved soon!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted May 18, 2015 Author Share Posted May 18, 2015 What about getting a woman to have sex with you has to do with social skills? If it's only about making a plan to meet up and have sex that's not really about socializing - it shows you know how to communicate that you would like to have sex and the other person also wants to have sex with you and therefore agrees. Trust me, it always takes social skills. If all that was required was to ask and meet up, I'd never post on ENA, and I doubt that most other guys would, either. A whole lot of stuff has to happen in order for that to happen. But I'm an old hand at this, so I can get "a whole lot of stuff" done in two or three convos. Perhaps manipulative -and I only write that because you seemed pleased with yourself that in "two convos" you convinced her to make a plan to meet up and have sex - do you think that is why Annie might believe you are also interested in her as a person/potential date? Maybe your attraction decreased because she is not enough of a challenge for you and seems to want what you don't want to offer. After 5-6 years of no contact it doesn't sound like there is any significant "F" in the FWB euphemism. I don't like challenges. That's why I'm pleased with myself: I didn't have to expend that much effort! Also, she was married for those years, and I was a guy that she used to sleep with, so I can understand why she didn't contact me during that time. Obviously you probably have far better social skills than you give yourself credit for but I don't think social skills really factor into making a plan to have sex with someone you knew in the past. I'd pretty much have to have far better social skills than I give myself credit for. But, again, they factor in. With one or two exceptions, all of my FWBs needed to be won over to some degree. I don't know how you imagine this stuff, but, even casual-sex-friendly women don't just walk up to you and say "I like casual sex too, let's hook up!" (Well, they don't walk up to me and say that, anyway. Maybe if I looked like Chris Hemsworth...) I am sorry about the life stresses and hope they are resolved soon!! Thank you. Sadly, they've gotten even worse, today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 You misunderstand. I don't consider getting a woman to have casual sex with you to demonstrate good social skills - I agree that with most people it's not about being blunt and simply asking for sex. Typically casual sex is not about interacting socially (and it is not so to you -you're just interested in the sexual interaction-not judging that in the least!)- so basically you're using communication skills, or perhaps some manipulation/convincing as needed. But it's not about having a positive social interaction with a person -your purpose in communicating is so that the other person will want to meet up and have sex as opposed to being skillful at connecting on an emotional level or skillful at having an interesting conversation for the purpose of getting to know the person better, not for the purpose of achieving sex or money or a job, etc. We just have different definitions of "social skills". Once again I am not saying you don't have good social skills -just disagreeing that this type of communication requires good social skills. I hope your personal situation improves! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 Well, I never hooked up with ANNIE. I just couldn't muster up the enthusiasm. She even sent me a fairly graphic video, presumably to encourage me--but I just threw it in the same file-folder that has all the other pics and videos I've received, over the years. In other news, I'm currently having the day from (a very mild first-world version of) hell. I have severe social anxiety, and I was forced to make a ton of phone calls, today. Even worse, most of them were about an embarrassing (but relatively minor) work mistake I made, so my already-low self-esteem is plummeting. (The other calls were about a major issue, and while it isn't my fault, I'm the one that has to deal with it--it's been going on for weeks, and it's looking like it'll take a few more weeks to wrap up. Ugh.) I basically feel like a shell of myself, right now, and my day isn't over yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Hang in there!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 Yes, hang in there and I am sorry about all the phone calls! I don't have social anxiety and I also hate being in that type of situation. Hope tomorrow is better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 2, 2015 Author Share Posted June 2, 2015 Thanks, you two. My day did get better--I had one final thing to do, and it went very well. I actually felt appreciated, which is a rare thing, for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 I haven't heard anything from ANNIE, recently--nor did I expect to. Other human beings must be really good at reading social signals; once I decided not to get together with her (but hadn't told her yet), she immediately vanished. Granted, I stopped initiating contact with her. This has been a fairly common pattern in my life. A woman may (re-) initiate contact once, but after that, I'm expected to do it every time...and if I don't, I usually never hear from them again. Or not until years later, anyway. But wait: I'm talking with two more women, both of whom I'm even less enthusiastic about! BETTY, uncertain chest size (and I usually have a perfect memory in this area!), has brown hair, is around 30, Hispanic, and weighs a little too much for my tastes. Her DTF status is "Blah". Unfortunately, I only saw her on cam briefly, and the last time was years ago, so I'm in the dark in this area. BETTY is someone that I talk to every few years, basically whenever she pops up online after a breakup. She seems to think that I'm amusing. I always wondered if she'd be a good FWB candidate. She seems pretty boring and traditional, frankly, but she was cute, and her body definitely had potential. I've never been much of a personality guy, and I'm certainly not a conversationalist, but talking with her is like talking to a wall. Strangely enough, that gives me hope...less-attractive people have to work on their personalities more, so maybe she got hot and can now just attract guys by sitting/standing around and being sexy? Or, maybe she's just boring. When you combine my horrific lack of social skills with her monosyllabic replies, well... And now we come to an even messier situation. CINDY (see what I'm doing there?), adequate chest, has (pretty sure it's fake) blonde hair, and is in her mid-forties. CINDY is someone that I added eight to ten years ago...but she never actually talked to me. Not until the other day. "Who are you?" and "Do I know you?" and "Oh right I added you way back when lol". Well, she has a boyfriend she's been with for a number of years...but that didn't stop me from flirting with her, because that's how I am...but wait, the main thing she wants to talk about is the married man she wants to cheat with. He stopped contacting her, and she's extremely upset. "If you talk with me while I wait for him, I'll get on cam for you!" I'm like, okay...but then I saw her and I was like "oh my god how can I get out of this." In an attempt to be compassionate, I tried to cheer her up...but this only resulted in her wanting to talk more and more, because I'm apparently the least-worst of the men in her life. I need to just stop talking to people... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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