JA0371 Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Hi all! I can't believe it's already Fall....but it's my favorite season, so I am feeling inspired to journal. What will this journal consist of? Well.....it's been a draining year. I have had a slow year at work, and broke up with my bf of two years a few months ago. It's been Very up and down. Im trying to remain positive. Luckily I have been pretty healthy...and I am very grateful for that. It's one thing in our lives that we have relative control over, so I hold on to that for dear life. I've tried to keep a healthy diet and exercise routine because its one thing that keeps me sane. Aside from this site...I decided to delete social media from my life for the next few months. Im on FB..as is my ex and I found myself checking in on his life way too much..,.thus keeping me stuck. I may or may not go back on once Im completely over it but for now Im just focusing on me and getting back to my 'happy place'. On a positive note, my puppy that I got when she was 7 weeks old (a basset hound puppy ) named Maggie, is getting so big. She just turned five months and she's a sweetie. She still likes to chew on everything, and her favorite thing is to grab stuff from me and run with it...making me chase her..lol. So that's half my exercise. Im also going on vacation next month, to a cabin in the mountains. I soooo can't wait. It's been almost a full year since my last real vacation and I really need it now! In the meantime, Ive started cleaning my place up. Getting rid of a lot of stuff I don't need. Just reorganizing. I wish you could do that with your brain sometimes. Get rid of all the negative thoughts and memories. Ugh. I know it takes time, but dammit it sucks being stuck in your own head sometimes. It's kinda scary there sometimes. I don't know what this journal will consist of. Just ramblings Im sure. Maybe someone else is going through something similar, so if it helps them.....all the better. Looking forward to sharing my journey... JA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 Having kind of an icky day. It's rainy, and overcast which is partly why. Have had the ex on my brain a lot the last week and it's really annoying. I guess I'll go through this for a while, I just wanna be over it already. I know my vacation will help...once Im out of my element and in a new place. Im hoping to come back more refreshed and hopeful. Of course it is still a few weeks away, so maybe I will be better by then. It's funny... I got in touch with the ex that brought me here two years ago. I was a mess...it ended badly. We recently spoke..via email and text, and cleared things up. I have zero desire to reconcile with him now. In fact I deleted his number from my phone because he's already being weird again...like last time..and I will never go through that again. Funny how time changes things. It will again..I just have to be patient. Im going to stay single for the next year I think. I just don't want to deal with emotional drama for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted September 25, 2014 Author Share Posted September 25, 2014 At work, journaling in between clients... Running on almost zero sleep, so Im half cranky, and half silly.. Lol. Some might say I had a minor setback and that I am being petty by contacting my ex to let him know Im friend requesting one of his friends....who Ive never actually met in person, but Ive seen many posts of him and my ex at various events. He's an entertainer on a Showboat in a different state that I visit yearly. In the Spring I want to visit and go on the boat. This guy...I'll call him 'G' plays music...and does comedy. He's pretty funny and seems fun. Anyway, I have zero interest in him romantically. It will be fun to see him play live. He doesn't know Im 'M's ex ..and I won't mention it. No need. I simply told my ex that if he sees I was 'friended' that it is strictly about the boat trip....and I have no intentions of mentioning him or us. No drama. Anyway..it seems pretty complicated, but Im trying to avoid any misconceptions. Im sure it will be fine......by then none of it will even matter. Right now Im just ready for my vacation....I can't wait for it to be next year so I can be over all this!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted September 30, 2014 Author Share Posted September 30, 2014 Ok it's a new week. I haven't posted deliberately because I wanted to stew on some things and I realized that yes, I was being silly for friend requesting my exes friend....but my intentions still were very harmless. He still hadn't accepted my request ( though he knew I would be sending it) so I cancelled it. No need to further stir the pot. Time to let go....and move on. Funny...since I did that I haven't even been online much. Been planning my vacation in two weeks. It will be nice to get away.......I have no plans on even having Internet access while Im gone. I don't use the Internet on my phone, just use it to call/text and take pics. So being Internet free will be nice Aside from that, no new developments. Been laying low. Cleaning my place up. It's a much better week for me...mentally ai have more clarity and peace. hope it continues.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 Up early, so I decided to journal. Not sure if anyone reads my jibberish lol, but hopefully if they do they will at least be amused in some way It's the 1st. I told myself that with the new month I was going to try letting go of some of my bad habits. I don't actually have a lot of bad habits ( at least I don't think so) but the ones I think I have ...I want to try to eliminate. One is that I think I drink more than I should. Usually just wine....but still, I drink at least three times a week. So, this month Im cutting way back. Also, I tend to put things off way too long. So gonna try to plan things out more, and just do them as I need to. I believe these are my two biggest 'flaws' right now. If I can fix them, then I think other things will just be easier. Happy October!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happpybear Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Good luck with your elimination month! There's something about the fall season that inspires change, right? I dunno if you feel that too, but in the fall I always have an urge to either start something new, or change a habit etc. Right now I plan on eliminating stuff too, just cleaning out stuff that I have been holding onto that I don't really need, clothes, clutter etc. It's freeing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted October 7, 2014 Author Share Posted October 7, 2014 Hi HB!!! So far it's going good with cutting back. Note, I never said 'quit'...I said cut back..lol. For some reason, being told I can't do something has the opposite effect on me. Maybe Im just stubborn, I don't know. Sometimes it's a good quality, but I just wish it were easier. Not much to post right now..just getting ready for vacation. I also decided once I get back, I'm rejoining the gym and hitting it hard till my birthday in four months. No need to wait till New Years. The next six months Im focusing on me, my health and my career. Absolutely NO men or relationship type stuff. I won't even entertain it until then. My gf who is going on vacation with me also just went through a breakup, so we are making this pact together. I ended up in my last relationship by jumping from the ex before him right back into the fire. Not making that mistake again. Other than that, just been hanging out with my six month old basset hound puppy. She's sweet...(mostly lol) and good company. She's fun to vent to..lol. I'll try to post here as often as I can, without sounding redundant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted October 9, 2014 Author Share Posted October 9, 2014 Less than a week till vacation. I won't post while Im away. I want to 'unplug' for a week. No Internet, no FB. Just enjoy being away, and relax ..so this may be my last post till I return. Been missing my ex lately. I hate that it ended the way it did. Im not going to do anything about it..just wait it out till I don't feel sad anymore. Nothing I can do at this point. Hoping I will return feeling much more rested and optimistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted October 23, 2014 Author Share Posted October 23, 2014 Holy Moly my vacation week went by fast! I had so much fun....went with a girlfriend who has never seen the area, and we laughed so much. It was just what I needed. Unfortunately before I left my 6 month old puppy Maggie somehow hurt herself....she had a slight limp on her left leg when we left....when I picked her up, her limp was much worse...but after applying pressure on her leg and moving it around, she never whined or winced in pain. So I have her at the vet waiting on X-rays now. Just hoping it something simple, and that requires her to just rest. Poor baby My head is in a much better place. I got in touch with someone I knew about 10 years ago. I had a slight crush on him back then..nothing ever developed, and I think he's kind of a player/ eternal bachelor.....but he's a cool guy. We reconnected on FB. Im not looking to date him, but I would hang out with him sometime, if something came up. Aside from that Im just getting my life in order. I don't want any complications or distractions. Im giving myself until my birthday to even remotely consider getting involved. Relationships just seem to suck the life out of you when they go bad. No thank you....don't need the drama. Im re energized and focused. So all is good in my world!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted October 29, 2014 Author Share Posted October 29, 2014 I had some more FB drama related to my ex. I made a post about it in the healing section...basically I am almost positive my ex friend requested me under another name, and I checked 'him' out and figured out it is likely him, posing as someone else.....hitting on other women. It just disgusted me..and any remnants of missing him went out the window. In a way he did me a huge favor by doing that. Hard to ever see him in the same light again after that....now I feel like I am completely over him. Aside from that, I am getting ready to get back into my gym routine hard and heavy again. I figure New Years is coming up...I wanna be ahead of all the 'resolutioners' lol. The holidays are coming as well...but it's hard for me to even think about that right now. I feel like Im in a 'zone' right now. My puppy is already almost 7 months old..I have to make an appt to get her spayed Very soon. Fun fun!! She is so sweet...Im having so much fun with her, but she is a bit rambunctious right now...Im thinking that after she's spayed she be a little more calm. Hope so! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted October 31, 2014 Author Share Posted October 31, 2014 Happy Halloween!!! So I decided to try and journal here everyday ...at least for awhile. Mostly for my fitness related stuff. It helps keep me accountable. Tomorrow...nov 1st is my ''start day'. I Guss Im weird...I have to mentally prepare myself for it before I can commmit to it, but once I do, I get obsessive. Which is why journals are good for me. Most people in real life grow tired of hearing about my fitness goals...lol. Can't blame them. Our busy season at work is here....so that makes me happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 1, 2014 Author Share Posted November 1, 2014 Day one......done! I'm in a great mood today. I feel organized and energized. Did my first workout today and am shopping after work for the week. For the first time in a while, I feel like Im getting back on track mentally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 2, 2014 Author Share Posted November 2, 2014 It's a chilly beautiful morning! Im up, full of coffee and energy. I have an anniversary party later today, so Im busy cleaning, doing laundry and of course.....gotta get my workout in. Tomorrow is Monday. Most people hate Mondays..lai relish them, because it's the start of a new week. Can always start over....hope everyone has an awesome weekend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 3, 2014 Author Share Posted November 3, 2014 Monday Monday......lol I haven't done my workout yet this morning. Just having some coffee...and relaxing with my dog. I had fun at the anniversary party last night. It was for a couple that has been married 72 years! That is mind boggling. This couple is the cutest and sweetest people you will ever meet. It is just nice to even know them and hear all the things they've been through. Truly amazing. The restaurant we were at had amazing service and the food always awesome. I had the chicken Marsala. Yummmm... I could have made a worse choice Im sure. Im hoping with the holidays coming up, there won't be too many distractions. I have no major plans aside from going to my moms for t-giving...and I am confident I won't get too off track with my diet. I think it's crazy how my mind even wanders that far ahead....but I know it's necessary when Im trying to meet my goals. I don't want to relate to my ex too much in this thread....but this time of year was always more trying with staying in course, simply because there was so much more going on...and easier to get swayed. This year that will not happen. That's the beauty of breakups... Time to work out.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 I decided it's best if I post AFTER my workout....Im usually in a much better state of mind. Just cardio today, but I cranked it up. I love the feeling of those endorphins when they kick in..it truly is a high that a non workout person will never get. I have a girlfriend who actually told me NOT to expect her to ever work out with me...because it's not her 'thing'....I just laughed and told her she's the one missing out. I will never understand why people are so against fitness...they act like it's a religious cult or something. Lol....... So far ......a good day... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 Decent workout this morning. Did legs...but I was short on time, so didn't get to finish five sets. I did four...so Im satisfied. Been eating fairly clean, except Im pms'ing and I get crazy salt cravings. Grrr. All in all a good day...so far. Posting helps too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 Im using today to rest...my legs are definetely sorrrre lol. In a good way. Back at it hard tomorrow!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Share Posted November 7, 2014 Still sore today, but I got through my workout. Busy at work. I decided aim going to volunteer for Christmas or thanksgiving this year. It will be good for me...can't wait till after New Years. I really believe I'll be in a better place physically, mentally and emotionally by then. If Im not I seriously doubt there's much hope for me lol.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 Cleaning and organizing today. I decided it's best for me if cook in bulk for the week. So Im clearing out space...and am going to shop and cook tomorrow. Also...my birthday is exactly three months from today. Should be interesting to see where I am then. It's so close....but so far away. Lol....so much I want to get done. Fitness....I want to have my house in order and be mentally and emotionally 'better'. One day at a time..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 10, 2014 Author Share Posted November 10, 2014 Happy Monday! Getting ready for the day. I love mornings...mostly because it's my time to meditate. Today Im shopping and then cooking for a few hours, then putting everything into microwaveable containers..freezing half of it. I actually watched a YouTube video of this girl who is amazingly organized at this...lol. It makes so much sense though, as it saves so much time. In addition it's healthier, and less clean up. Im for ALL those things. If anyone is interested, the girls user name is Baking MAd Gym Addict. I liked her on FB too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 I've been under the weather a bit the last two days....my sinuses are bothering me. Grrr...didn't work out today..but will tomorrow. Not much to post about today,.,,hoping I feel better. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 13, 2014 Author Share Posted November 13, 2014 Journaling early...PRE workout. Im feeling a bit better. I hate missing workouts... Today is just cardio..but I always feel better after Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 14, 2014 Author Share Posted November 14, 2014 Today before work I got a lot done...cleaned, worked out, and went to GNC. Picked up something called Performix SST. It's a thermogenic product meant to burn fat and give you energy. I drink coffee PRE workout and need a little something extra.....I'll give you my reviews on it as I use it. I am going to start making different smoothies too...mostly green ones. They seem healthy...yumm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted November 16, 2014 Author Share Posted November 16, 2014 It's Sunday..I had a few drinks last night...but I had a blast. Not looking at it as a set back in my diet. Today I will eat clean..and relax. Going to start my smoothies tomorrow..if anyone else enjoys those share what you use in yours. Hope everyone had a great weekend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happpybear Posted November 16, 2014 Share Posted November 16, 2014 I looove smoothies, I try to make mine taste like desserts! I make lemon pound cake, carrot cake, black forest cake, pumpkin pie....I put in cooked oatmeal to make them bulkier and more filling for breakfast. I use pureed cauliflower to make them silky and creamy without using dairy! You can get pretty creative with them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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