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Married but Dating?


Aries1

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Why not try talking to yiur wife to see if you can resolve your issues instead of cheating on her.

 

As regards any lecture (?) you have come off very lightly. It's rather thoughtless coming to a site frequented with predominantly broken-hearts asking such a question ...but I guess that stands to reason!

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If your marriage is falling apart ... try to fix it.

 

If it has already fallen apart and there is no fixing it .... maybe it's time you thought about divorce. I know you don't not want to rock the boat or hurt your wife but if you continue on with this, she (and others) WILL end up getting hurt anyway and you will be the ultimate bad guy.

 

The answer to your problems is not an affair. That really will be creating even bigger issues.

 

If you go searching for someone in a similar position to yourself you are bringing someone else's ploblems into your already problematic life. If you embark on affair there are already four people who are going to get hurt - not including any children. Why create all that? Why not rackle the real issue head on once and for all.

 

Sorry if, unlike the majority of other posters on this thread, I haven't given you the answer you were hoping for but embarking on an affair is not a solution - not a long-term solution anyway. You evidently aren't happy so why not find the courage to deal with that nstead of throwing even more problems into the mix.

 

I don't know whether your marriage is salvageable but ,if not, then remember ..... there is life after divorce. For both of you.

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Why not try talking to yiur wife to see if you can resolve your issues instead of cheating on her.

 

As regards any lecture (?) you have come off very lightly. It's rather thoughtless coming to a site frequented with predominantly broken-hearts asking such a question ...but I guess that stands to reason!

 

Oh thanks for the light warning...I thought this was a site I could come to to get unbiased information and not judgement. People don't know the exact situation. As I had mentioned earlier, I was looking for places I could talk with others going through similar and get a different mindset than the one I was getting at home.

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Probably not a good idea to come to a site that is focused on heartbreak and relationship issues/repair, asking about how to cheat on your wife. Just a thought!

 

"looking for someone to talk to who is in my same situation" is codespeak for "I'm looking for an affair with another married/attached person".

 

I don't know what's so bad in your marriage and your life that is making you go online looking for companionship and you are open to having an affair, but this is not the way to go. And you're likely not to find support unless it's from other shoddy people doing the same thing in secret because most people are horrified with the idea of their spouse doing what you're doing. It shows you don't have integrity and you don't care about your wife's feelings. If she is unhappy too, talk to her. If you want, open up your marriage. It's not fair for you to be sneaking around looking to bed people when she doesn't know and/or you don't allow her to do the same. Why is it okay for her to stay home and be faithful to you if you are not being faithful to her?

 

How would you feel if she were in your position, posting on here, looking for male pen pals to write to and possibly meet up with? How does that make you feel?

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>>I thought this was a site I could come to to get unbiased information and not judgement

 

What, about the best ways to cheat on your spouse?

 

You'll get lots of unbiased info if you want an opinion on how to try to fix your marriage, or how to make a decision on whether to leave it or not, but frankly good people are not going to give advice on how to hook up with random women to cheat and break your wife's heart and wreck your family. We're not pimps here.

 

And cheating is never the best solution to resolving marital issues. It usually fast tracks you right into a divorce, wrecking your finances, breaking your kid's hearts, rarely seeing your kids, losing the respect of all your family and friends, etc. etc. Nobody in their right mind would recommend it as a solution to anything but chaos and ultimate heartbreak when you get caught.

 

Divorce can be an acceptable solution if the marriage is truly unsalvageable, but adultery is like taking a sledgehammer to your marriage when a flyswatter would do.

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Thanks for the soapbox lecture,that one is obvious,that's why I said I was looking for people to talk to first. That's not illegal now is it?

 

Starting an emotional affair with intent to physically cheat?

 

No, it's not illegal. It's shady and dishonest. Dating should stop after taking vows.

 

Talk to your wife. Unless she agrees to an open arrangement then get a divorce. Integrity matters.

 

You'll get lots of unbiased info if you want an opinion on how to try to fix your marriage, or how to make a decision on whether to leave it or not, but frankly good people are not going to give advice on how to hook up with random women to cheat and break your wife's heart and wreck your family. We're not pimps here.

 

^^ I agree with this 100%

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Oh thanks for the light warning...I thought this was a site I could come to to get unbiased information and not judgement. People don't know the exact situation. As I had mentioned earlier, I was looking for places I could talk with others going through similar and get a different mindset than the one I was getting at home.

 

I might not have said exactly what you wanted to hear but there was absolutely no judgement in either my posts. Funny how people choose to see things!

 

Like I said before you have come to a site where the vast majority are suffering from broken hearts asking for advice on how to cheat on your wife ... it could have been a lot worse.

 

I 100% stand by the unbiased advice I gave you.

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Oh thanks for the light warning...I thought this was a site I could come to to get unbiased information and not judgement. People don't know the exact situation. As I had mentioned earlier, I was looking for places I could talk with others going through similar and get a different mindset than the one I was getting at home.

 

I'm sure this is not the answer you'd like to hear, but group therapy comes to mind.

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Oh thanks for the light warning...I thought this was a site I could come to to get unbiased information and not judgement. People don't know the exact situation. As I had mentioned earlier, I was looking for places I could talk with others going through similar and get a different mindset than the one I was getting at home.

 

No, this website does not offer "unbiased" information about having an affair. This is a forum about relationships, so you are going to get all sorts of opinions. Some that you agree with, some that you don't.

 

If you want to talk about the issues in your marriage, how you can solve them, if divorce is the right route for you, etc., then yes people here will be more than happy to help.

 

But if you are here to say "Can someone give me a website that hooks me up with other people so I can cheat on my wife?", you will not find much help. Sorry.

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.I thought this was a site I could come to to get unbiased information

No, you are definitely on the wrong site. A vast majority of people here are for fixing relationships if they are salvageable, or ending them if they aren't. By going to these sites you are heading down a path of irreparably ruining your relationship. If it is already ruined, then just get a divorce.

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