BronsonBarney Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Im a 22 year old Canadian living in Brisbane. I was seeing a girl , 22/f from Perth, here and after dating for 2 months I fell for this girl. She left to go backpacking in Europe with her two friends, something happened, I got emotional, insecure, jealous, possessive, and the complete opposite of who I am. I became a bit needy after and she was somewhat cold and unresponsive to me so I decided to go no contact. After 7 days she contacts me asking about me and telling me about Europe. I wasn't as affectionate and brought things down to a basic level. After being slower to respond she sends me a message saying "So are we not talking now??" We conversed a bit more but then it went no contact again for 2 weeks. I woke up on Saturday morning and there was another message from her asking about me and telling me how Europe was. I spent the whole day not looking at it and I finally responded later that night about 15 hours after it was sent. My response wasn't cold nor was it overly friendly and I didn't really leave it open for a response. After I saw that she has seen it I regretted sending it. I felt like I could've been funnier or just been myself. Now my question is that I'm not sure what this girl wants from me? I get confused because deep down I still have strong feelings for this girl but I tried to tell her my feelings a while back and didn't give me an answer. I can't tell if she just checking up on me or if she still has feelings for me and is holding on to me. This is twice though she has tried to contact me and make conversation and I've come accross as a bit colder. Im afraid now she won't send me a message again. This break up with her has honestly messed me up. I miss her like crazy and am having a hard time moving on with school and meeting other girls because my feelings are still towards her. Everytime I try and move on I get a message from her and it brings me right back down to her. Do I continue to go no contact again? or do I send her a message this time joking around and asking about her? Or do I tell her that Im having trouble moving on and need some distance for a bit?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edmund Exley Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 What happened that made you freak out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 She never broke up with you --- you are the one who sent silent. Why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zippy2000 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 No contact is not a game. If you go no contact. That willmakethe otherperson what happenedtoyou and ask how you are. It doesnt make them like you but someone is not around. Its natural for someone to comelooking foryou. Stop this no contact business with her as she`ll think youre playing games. Its timeto up the contact if she is telling you about her trip. Theres no detailsabout the break up but I no contact is used if have been dumped. The question is. Were you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BronsonBarney Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 What happened is she Got super drunk one night, told me no guys at the bar were like me so she went home with a girl... I wasn't mad nor was I happy I was actually confused. She thought I'd find it funny cause of my personality but I didn't really. I started to doubt her a bit because I went traveling when I was 19 and I saw girls do crazy things. After that we skyped and I told her it was alright but I told her I still had feelings for her and no one else compared to her. I caught her off guard and she kept either changing the subject or saying "I don't know what to say". After that I sent a message pretty much saying "I guess I'm finally realizing were not together anymore, have an awesome trip, I still wanna hear from you etc." She responded "I'm sorry I don't know what to day, what we had was amazing, Im here and you're there, I don't want to lose contact with you." I thought we could go from lovers to friends instantly but I noticed whenever I initiated conversation and asked about her she wasn't as talkative and a bit one sided and a bit cold. So all I was doing was making it worse for me so I decided to go no contact to give each other space. I don't want to use no contact as a game I want to either move on from this girl or be with her. And thats why I don't understand why she is messaging me. Does she like me still or just checking up on me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 She is bored at times, so reaches out to you. Take a pass on this one and stop responding to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BronsonBarney Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 I wasn't dumped. In fact neither of us really ended anything. She's overseas and I said "I guess Im finally realizing we're not together anymore" and she said "I don't want to lose contact with you." Its almost like were in Limbo because nothing official was really said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 "I don't want to lose contact with you" does not mean "we are still together". It doesn't have to be "official" to be over. She isn't dating you anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flyer79 Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Was she living in Perth and you in Brisbane, as that is a hell of a long way between cities! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BronsonBarney Posted September 18, 2014 Author Share Posted September 18, 2014 She was living in Brisbane for 6 months for a job. Im here studying and we met. She went back home for 2 weeks then to Europe for 4 months then when she returns she'll return to Perth. I on the other hand am planning on leaving Brisbane in December either go back home or move to Melbourne for school. We didn't really discuss anything about the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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