misshunnybun Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Hello So, to start my story I met someone off a dating site..we had a great first date and things got very intense straight away, we got on so well, I went back to his and you get the drift. Since then, all our meetings consist of meeting at his house, watching a bit of TV, sex and cuddling and I always stay the night. This has been going on nearly 2 months now. Around 2 weeks into this I asked what the deal was, he said he wasn't sure what he wanted and just that he liked it as it was right now, not to rush things. I'm more than certain he is still on the dating site and speaking to other girls, possibly meeting them and maybe even bringing them back to his? Since our first date we haven't been out anywhere together...sometimes only text like once a day to say how are you... I'm not used to this kind of casual relationship and can't ask him..everytime I mention I need to ask him something I just get a groan like 'oh god...what?' He doesn't want commitment I'm guessing, but I don't want to carry this on if I'm just one of many, I'd rather carry on going on dates. I've not dated anyone else since seeing him. Really unsure of what to do and really don't want to get hurt as I already feel myself falling for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 You are a sex buddy ---- not a gf. You only meet at his house ---- for sex. No dates. He doesn't want any more than you are giving him. Stop falling. He is using you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 You want commitment and he doesn't. You have nothing to think about. Just walk away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misshunnybun Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 I agree with what you're both saying, thank you for your advice on this... I think I just needed another opinion to make my decision concrete. I am going to walk away. Shall I let him know or just turn him down when he asks to see me again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Don't even answer his call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Actually...he is using you with your full knowledge and acceptance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Since you've accepted this arrangement from the very start, he knows he can sleep with you at his leisure, without having to take you out in public, or spending a dime. How easy is that? Between that, and suspecting him of sleeping with others, why are you selling yourself at such a cheap rate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misshunnybun Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 Actually...he is using you with your full knowledge and acceptance. You are absolutely right, I am allowing it. I'm not going to any more, this is the end now and I don't want to continue with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misshunnybun Posted September 16, 2014 Author Share Posted September 16, 2014 Since you've accepted this arrangement from the very start, he knows he can sleep with you at his leisure, without having to take you out in public, or spending a dime. How easy is that? Between that, and suspecting him of sleeping with others, why are you selling yourself at such a cheap rate? I am stupid and have realised that now, I think I was drawn in by the fact I hadn't connected with anyone on a date as much as him, we had such a good time and he made me laugh so much, he always does...but it's obvious now I mean nothing to him, or at least not as much as he means to me. It is glaringly obvious now that is how I'm being treated. I think deep down I wanted my thoughts to be wrong but I can see it now for what it really is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigKK Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 This is how I work so I will give you some insight, if you have sex immediately...then I don't think you will give him time to get to know you and invest time. Instead your relationship is purely around sex. There wasn't a courting process, and I think in this case you see the issues of that. I know other people go about it differently but I'd just give it a few dates before sleeping with someone. You will avoid issues like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpottiOtti Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 he said ... just that he liked it as it was right now ... Yeah, I bet he does. Glad you've gained insight from this thread and are going to stand up for yourself. I think a lot of us girls have been where you are, so don't feel like a fool. Just learn and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lymphocyte Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 He's told you what he wants, and you've accepted that. If you don't want that anymore, let him know. It's not fair to paint him as the 'bad guy' who is 'using you' when you're fully aware of the situation, and of what he wants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 I don't know that I would call it "used" because you keep going back to his house, having sex, and not telling him that you want more or he can hit the bricks. You are definitely a friend with benefits and nothing more than that. That's what going to their house and them never taking you anywhere, but the bedroom means. Either be cool with that or leave and never look back. He told you from the first he was happy with how things are--i.e. you service his need to get laid. You can't cry foul when they've been open about it and he's been very open about it. It's up to you to demand people treat you better if you want them to treat you better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 You're a secret and will never be a part of his life. You're being used! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zippy2000 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 If he isnt taking you out on dates, calling you, or wanting to be with you then its just sex orientated and if he meets someone he`s more emotoinally tuned to then he will just move on to the next person. You need to communicate what and where this relationship is going and find someone who adores and wants to roamnce you. Either that then leave him and stop servicing his needs as you need to protect number one and thats you. I ll put my bets on if you do leave. He wont be chasing after you andif he doesnt then his actions are louder than his words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubie Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 The fact he won't even take you out in public is just a bit suspicious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_LFA Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 There must be something about him that makes you keep coming back though? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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