gf wants to be left alone

[flooffy]

Ok, I'm from Croatia and she's from France. We both are gamers and we met in a game totally random.

We started talking, playing and all... one thing led to another and we entered a relationship.

I was 2 times in France this summer cos we both wanted that.

We had a great time, a blast ! Enjoyed every moment we had. Ofc, the going home part always ended in tears on both ends.

Even tho we were apart, we kept chatting, playing and everything as usual.

I had my moments of jealousy (I'm a seriously jealous guy) and feeling hurt when my GF didn't reply to my text while we were texting (I was in bed, getting ready to sleep and she was still playing the game, so she ended up replying 2h later while I was already asleep). I was hurt by that but she apologized.

Well, that started to happen really often and if she wasn't playing until midnight or 4am (depends on the days), she would be tired as soon as she hit the bed. We still managed to text each other for a while but I kinda got hurt when she was always tired, unless she's playing the game. We stated (together) that the game and FB is the only thing we got so it always seemed to me that she doesn't care that much (I know she does, but at those moments I forget it...)

Kinda managed to go through all that (saying kinda cos it kept happening... but ok, that's something I need to get used to it seems cos it's really a part of who she is).

 

2weeks ago I was a total ass and I won't hide it. Sarcastic sentences almost every morning, gave her more trouble then usual...

I apologized to her and I really meant/mean it. And we were ok (I am truly thankful for enduring my crap). I asked her if she has a show to suggest for me to watch and maybe to talk about (our lives aren't interesting cos I work most of the day and she was on vacation from university, so we ended up coming home/waking up and basically playing games... so I was searching for something else to talk about.

Her response was "euh ok" and I asked what was wrong, she told me that sometimes I try too hard and that I'm too clingy (I will admit that I am but we both were really clingy).

I just said ok (didn't throw a tantrum, WUHU !).

Again, we were ok until a week ago when she told me that my messages are annoying her as hell and that they are always the same. I asked her if we still shared the same feelings, she said yes but nog the same intensity (she was implying to herself). She said she wants to be left alone.

 

After a few days, I asked her how she is and that I wished just for a short convo about us two. We had the convo and again I asked (and apologized for repeating the question) if she loves me. She said that she doesn't know, she doesn't feel anything for anything. She just wants to be left alone and that she feels empty.

 

We played a bit together on Sunday and she sent me a "

I'm scared and I don't know what to do... I'm giving her space as she requested (ok, I send her a text once a week asking how she is, but I don't get a reply). Atm it seems she's having a bunch of fun with a new group of friends ingame.

 

Should I just wait? Use this time to work on my self-control and change myself for the better of us when she returns (if she returns)?

 

I'm really lost and scared

 

EDIT:

Annoyance with me and my messages began when she started going to university again. Her uni didn't give her her papers for being accepted in the new school year. She went to the uni before it started and they said they'll send them when they are over with some other paperwork and that she doesn't have to worry. Uni started and still no papers and she's at university from 8am till 6pm every day.

I guess that + me being an ass is enough to shut me out ?

[t1lersm0m1]

Waiting and working on yourself is the only thing you can do. What other choice do you have? You text her once a week and get no reply. If you contact her more, it will push her further away, if she isn't already gone.

[flooffy]

This may be stupid but I asked a friend if she talked with her.

She said that she did and that she apologized to everyone in our new guild that she wasn't coming online as often as before cos she has a rough uni schedule and a lot of work.

Then the friend also asked her about us two and she said she's too tired (cos of uni I guess) and has been in a bad mood lately cos of it.

 

I guess there's nothing to worry about but I still don't understand why couldn't she say that to me

Instead she's in silent and no contact mode

 

EDIT:

She told me a few days ago that at times like these she prefers to fend off for herself

 

Does that mean that I'm just gonna get shut out for a while until she resolves her issues and no one else will?