Am I fooled by Love? or Was I just dumbly manipulated? Or Simply deceived?

[redrover]

Ahoy....

 

This is my first post (for this matter) - a very first query. I'll be straight up and to the point.

 

I never am in 'love' till date, although I have a broader array of possibilities as in crushes, girlfriends and blah blah. There are few extreme factors for me to believe in love but not to be in love.

 

It all started ten ear ago when I first saw her electric eyes [i realized that I am in love with her eyes and also the fact of me in love with the idea of her]. I just love that state of mind. It works like a pain-killer to me. We no longer were in touch base with each other.

 

Now lemme give you a glance where was I:

Done with education>> Out of College>> First Job>> Second Stable Job.....

 

I set career goals and really wanted to stick to 'em, no matter what comes in the way. And I am doing the best. But then a colleague of mine has a sister and she gave a lot to remember now that I can't forget anything. She urged that I was never have been loved which is why I had no happiness in life, lame life style and blah blah blah.....

 

By nature, I am witty, introvert, logically practical, mushy..

 

We (Me and this Girl) had lots of random conversations, night calls, whatsapping and whatnot.

 

One day we shared a funny virtual hug and we striven by rising a gutty challenge - why can't/shouldn't we really hug. So we did it, thrice. It made our blood pressurize, coupled with anxiety, happiness and thrill. It ruined our friendship. Totally.

 

We swiftly had changes in our thought process. I knew things won't really work between us and wanted to isolate from her before I get emotionally attached with her. But I couldn't. I asked her not to talk to me anymore. But she said she feels like dead if she was not talking to me.

 

She instructively hinted or asked me / or informed in an indirect panache - that she'd like to hear me, proposing to her. I instructed upfront that I'd likely require two years to gain a good position in my life for a smooth running of every possible circumstances.

 

She pitched that I don't possesses enough amount of love that enables and proves her that I am (was) willing to marry her. I had a few solitude based brainstorming sessions and have had concluded - its now or never and I approached her with the damn three words.

 

Stereotypical? I just told her that I love her but don't want her in my life, right now. Because I have a lot to do in terms of my career, family and finance etc..

 

She simply turned up side down stating that she wasn't expecting something like that from me and blamed me as an heartless arrogant bastard - not knowing the difference between pure friendship and love.

 

? She initiated it. I was trying to scout the real love. Its never done. We stopped seeing each other and talking.

 

I am not being able to stand the thoughts and memories of her. This really makes me sick - both mentally and physically. Now, I don't want to talk to her, retain her, or anything like that. Is this true love? Why the heck am I thinking about her all the time?

 

All I want to know is Am I fooled by Love? or Was I just dumbly manipulated? Or Simply deceived?

 

And how best to forget her? I know its gonna a while, especially for Scorpios to overcome this sorta games.

[Xylitol]

I just want to raise the bs flag here. What an utter non-sense is going on here.

 

Ok first of all, even though there are claims that men and woman can be "friends", nature's reproduction systems tends to take over eventually and tries to push it to the next level.

 

Second, i think that sister woman is extremely judgemental. There's nothing wrong with your nature, and the state you are in now is the result of the personal choices you made. You may or may not be happy at this moment, but regardless this is the pathway of growth for you. I don't see why she has to be so nasty about it, and why she is forcing her own ideas about happiness and 'what to do' into dictating your life with her ideas. Just don't follow her, she knows nothing about you and at best she should just shut up about you and your life.

 

But for you, you need to set priorities. If career comes first at this moment, you should not indulge yourself into relationships. Because relationships take time, dedication and commitment. Your sentence

 

"All I want to know is Am I fooled by Love? or Was I just dumbly manipulated? Or Simply deceived?"

 

Has got nothing to do with it. She wants you to choose her as your Nr.1. If you say career, family etc is my nr.1, then she feels that you aren't serious about the relationship. She did some awfull namecalling by calling you a heartless bastard, completely denying your own freedom of choice and decisions where you want to go in life.

 

You are stuck in a duality, you want a lover but also a career. And this simply requires firm choices and balancing. If you want a lover you need time, if you want a career you need dedication. If you want both you need to divide your attention roughly 50-50% So what do you want? Choose wisely.