Can you really find "the one"?

[gdgfx]

gdgfx, you will enhance your own credibility when you can refrain from putting down the input of others. Honestly.

 

I think the rules of flame-baiting apply to you as well IThinkIcan. Stay on topic

[IAmFCA]

gdgfx, Your intelligence escapes me. Perhaps you can clarify.

 

 

- Not sure how this is on topic? And also, whether you mean to be instructing the rest of us? And what is "the whole ideology"?

 

Is this intended to be an instructional piece about why people are better off refraining from sex outside of marriage? There is talk of purity, of dignity... these are values you assign to sex, or lack of it, apparently. Or do I misunderstand you? How is this related to the idea of whether there is "The One"?

[Fudgie]

GDGFX,

 

I do believe in finding "true love" in the sense that if you are emotionally healthy/ready, and you meet another emotionally healthy/ready person, with the right shared goals and such, you can have a healthy, very longlasting relationship that could stand the test of time. Is that what you mean by true love? I am just trying to clarify.

 

I am definitely monogamous but I guess you could say, because I've had a few LTRs in my past, that I am "serial monogamist". And I am okay with that term, because my end relationship goal is this: to find someone that I want to be with for the rest of my life.

 

And you know, I think that you will find that that's what MOST relationship-minded people want, even in this day and age!

 

Full disclosure: I'm currently seeing a man who has never been in a relationship/been in love/had sex before. I am his first for all 3. In terms of my sexual partners, he is my 4th. He is certainly not my first love. He doesn't hold my past against me at all and any loving partner shouldn't, what's in the past. He tells me that he's glad that I've been in other relationships before because those experiences have helped make me who I am today, both good experiences and bad ones. I far prefer a man who hasn't slept around a lot than someone who has, but that's because I'm not much into casual sex so why would I date someone who is? Just didn't seem to make sense.

 

I guess my point in bringing that up is that taking casual sex/ONS out the equation (I haven't done that myself so I opt for men who haven't either), I don't fault someone for having loved and lost. Most people I know have failed relationships, and not because they grew impatient or the relationships were superficial. They genuinely tried and they didn't work out. Sometimes people grew and moved on. They changed, they moved away, their goals changed, etc.

 

The fact that I've slept with other men doesn't make my love and contribution to a relationship any less than a virgin's. Nor does it mean that I am somehow "damaged" or don't have pride. True love is very real and possible for those at any age, of any gender, regardless of their past, if they're a virgin or not. I think the focus needs to be on self improvement and preparing oneself emotionally, rather than on the past. Because in the end, I don't think the past has much bearing on true love if someone is ready and committed NOW.

[IAmFCA]

OK this is getting funny.

 

You know me not, assume much, and it is so far from the mark as to be... well, in fact, it is simply ignorant.

 

I do not hang up my gloves; with you, I choose to retract my gloves, so as not to soil them further by engaging in this inane conversation.

 

Perhaps you have a defeatist personality. Perhaps you over compensate the what ifs and whens and whys instead of living life the way it should be lived, by going day to day. Maybe stop worrying so much, stop thinking so much and enjoy life and you'll find that most of your worries are illogical. It just seems to me like you do have some form of defeatist opinion, that you can very easily surcomb to being defeated, that the inevitabilty to anything and everything could very easily be defeat. There is being realistic and being a defeatist. A realist knows when it's time to hang up the gloves, the defeatist hangs them up before he's swung the first punch in defense.

 

And it's clear to me that you give up very easily.

[mhowe]

Please stay on-topic mhowe, and ask questions related to the topic and not trying to go off on personal tangents.

 

The topic of the thread is "can you find the one".

 

The topic of the thread is not what you deem it to be. If you are uncomfortable answering the question instead of dispensing your life's philosophy, then don't answer it.

[Clinton]

You're making value judgements based on your own personal ideology and trying to tie that in with the idea of pursuit of the one. Pursuit of the one doesn't keep your mind and body pure, it doesnt make you a better or worse person.

 

Everyone is an individual. For some there can be many ones. For some, none

 

What about a widower who loses the love of his life and finds love again. Did he not find more than one ONE.

 

Your argument doesn't hold water because everyone's perception of relationships is based on their own wants, desires, experiences, and expectations.

 

It's up to them to decide what the one is, since in reality it's a romantic ideal that's come around very recently in human history. There really is no right definition or belief system regarding this

[agent1607307371]

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