zzaao Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Here's the deal. I've been at my current job for eight long years. I am a follower of Christ. This means, I put Him first, not myself. He led me here, has provided, guided and protected me. I know clearly, what is "His will" and what is 'my will'. "I" would not be here at all. The area is frought with in your face robbery and theft to businesses just like mine and the neighborhood is depressed economically. My enthusiasm of course has waned due to many very stressful circumstances. I have applied elsewhere with no opening. There are times when I begin feeling very bored ( business is slow) and then I feel I am really not fulfilling my full potential and that thought really bothers me. I have all kinds of 'potential' in me, sitting here, staring at paint on the wall. On another level, I also believe, God is doing things through me and for me, despite the fact I can't really see what 'good' He's doing through me. In my case, I am 54, 'working poor'... so I can't just go out and pay for an education that would certify me (i.e. life coaching) Even just Community School classes must be taken during daytime hours, leaving only 'night time jobs' available. Night time jobs have a high degree of risk, an opinion I gained by witnessing first hand at a previous job where night time hours were offered. I am single, so there is no husband to financially support me, so I could finish my degree. I am a writer, artist, and could easily go into psychotherapy, and would love being an art therapist. The idea of schooling and living on loans, only to have massive debt, with little certainty of job security, seems undoable. Usually, I just continue 'solidering' out my days, trusting the Lord, but not having a true connection to life, since the skills that nourish 'me' the most, are not in operation, and there is small affirmation back from the regular clientele I serve. I am deeply greatful for all that He has given me and blessed me with and I don't mean to sound ungrateful. But I am, honestly, feeling unfulfilled. Thank you for your time and for listening. Any thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 You are 54...and feeling unfulfilled. Your "Christ" has put opportunities in front of you and given you choices. You have chosen. I am not sure what you are asking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agent1607307371 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 You know what you want to do but have deemed it too risky, and something you can't have. What you have leaves you bored, unfulfilled and not making any money. But it is not risky. Sometimes you have to jump. If you fail at what you want, would you really be left so much worse off? At least you would know you tried to be the best expression of yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuka80 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 So it seems God clearly has put you in the current position you're in, his plan for you. You don't know his plan, and you said so yourself, its not your will but his so you should learn to accept that and be satisfied with the position he's put you in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpottiOtti Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I went to night school during undergraduate and graduate school. Are you sure there are no night classes for the programs you want? I think you are waiting for some sort of sign, but don't Christians also believe in free will? (I don't know much about Christianity, sorry.) Is it possible that you are supposed to make a choice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzaao Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 Thank you Agent. You are right. I have a close friend that did that very thing. Spent 6 years invested in school to obtain a degree, to try be her best expression and still has not found that job to use her skills. If this happened with me, I may be worse off, with a burden of debt, working poor, like I am now, but...I would have the satisfaction of knowing I tried. Either way is not sure, but it may be worth it all, knowing I did try. Also, either way, depression drains my energy. I will continue to seek wisdom, and I thank you for helping me sort out things. Much Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzaao Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 Thanks Spotti - No, that's what I was saying... my field would be Media Art, Art Therapy, and those are limited to day classes. The issue of being a born again Christian, is we are committed to following the Lord to places 'we' would not naturally choose, therefore, laying down 'our' desires in exchange for His. I am committed to this and have been for most of my life. My choices to obey and follow as He has led = His will. Thank you for your input and care. Blessings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzaao Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 Yes, I have chosen, yet after eight lengthy years, I feel unfulfilled, that's the dilemma. I do have the satisfaction of knowing I have been obedient, but I don't have the satisfaction of knowing I've used all that I have to give. Kinda of like, if you met a really talented person, capable of much more than the job they were currently in. To pursue the training I would need to qualify me is a huge undertaking. In order to pursue that I need to understand how that could work. Thanks for listening and caring mhowe. Blessings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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