honeejr Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I don't know which to listen to....My heart is attached...My head is saying I'm stupid... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 You listen to your head first and foremost. The heart can be deceptive and lead people into all manner of things they'd normally never do, but the fact is if something is wrong or the person you feel that way about is toxic that is never going to change. And just as you wouldn't pick up a crack pipe, no matter how good it makes you feel, you can also choose not to "pick up" a relationship that is going to damage you. The heart learns to love many people too, so generally if you create enough time and distance and move on one day you find yourself wondering why that other person ever made you ignore your head in the first place. And yes I know my advice is 1,000 percent the opposite of what every cliched hack and film and saying says we should believe. Just remember most of that's designed to sell crap to you that you don't need. And "following one's heart" has gotten people all manner of grief making "I did it for love" not always such a hot thing after all. Not when it or the situation or the person in question is toxic to begin with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jul-els Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Listen to your gut. It's far more reliable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueidealist24 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I'd have to hear more detail about your situation to answer this question. I find that my head is more logical and when I listen to it I experience less drama, but my life is pretty dang boring when everything is black and white.. I sometimes want to listen to my heart just to liven things up.. which may be bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livingreal Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Brilliant question! This is something I've been thinking about and not yet clear on. I think the head is often driven by ego and is often weighted either by what the heart wants or what the ego most fears. The heart has a lot of compassion and can potentially love everyone. The gut protects us. The trick is to bypass the ego mind, listen to gut and let the heart love accordingly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 When the head and heart are in conflict, we are ignoring a red flag. We may be compelled to move forward because we are exploring some issue, but it is not our last relationship. For example, does it work with a nice guy with whom there is no spark but my family will like him? (Head yes, heart no. Answer: sometimes, with effort, more often this will not last. ) Or, I know it's wrong for us, but I'm going to do it anyway. (Might be chaos, might be bliss, but the foundation will have to change to eliminate the sense of it being wrong, for it to last. Head no, heart yes. ) Better: I respect him, I'm drawn to him, my family/friends will like him, he respects me too. (Head yes, heart yes. This can last and enrich your life. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 You're the only one who knows your circumstances. You didn't tell us anything we can use to be helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honeejr Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 Actually Cat feeder my circumstance has no bearing on my thought. The answers given were enough to think more on my situation and see it better. Letting go sometimes is best...regardless of what your heart says. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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