Patrick974 Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 I've been seeing this girl over the last two weekends, met up on a dating site just before this summer, turned out she was dating another guy in august, so of course I lost interest, and she eventually contacted me again whining again and again about that last guy who thew her like an old pair of socks if I got her story right. We've been on two dates for two restaurants til last weekend. At this time I suggest theater for either friday or satursday night, got no updates for three days and receive an hour ago some dumb text saying "I had to fix some things, sorry, can't make it for this weekend". I find it rude she doesn't contact me at all only to get an apologizing text that doesn't even explain her issues. I'm a bit taken aback and decided to not answer her text, if she is still interested, she knows how to contact me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosti87 Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 I think that is your best strategy. She is obviously preoccupied with something (whether that be another guy or something else) and does not seem available to you. I would focus on other things in your life and let her straighten out her own business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 No contact will lead to no dating. She doesn't seem like much of a catch anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 By the sounds of it she made it apparent that she was disappointed by the last guy. What better way to assuage her ego then to contact someone who showed previous interest in her? Especially if she is still licking her wounds over the last person. You should have picked up on the queues that she was rebounding and gone into this knowing the risk. I am not saying what she is doing is ok. It's very self serving. But you have some responsibility here as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 he eventually contacted me again whining again and again about that last guy who thew her like an old pair of socks if I got her story right. Why didn't you end things right then and there then delete and block this spoiled oversharing princess? Whining in general, and to someone she barely knows--minus 20 points. Whining about how the last guy threw her away to the guy she's now on a date with--minus points into the stratosphere so far it's nosebleed territory. Gah, you can do better dating a dead woman than that. Ugh, move on. Why are you putting up with this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 On principle, I am against dating dead women. OTOH --- you don't have much to worry about when it comes to buying gifts or going to dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosti87 Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 On principle, I am against dating dead women. OTOH --- you don't have much to worry about when it comes to buying gifts or going to dinner. Cheers mhowe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Take this as a sign and move on. If you chase her you will get more of the same. I don't think you did anything wrong here, just ran into a rude girl that doesn't care about anyone but herself. If she does contact you again I think you should say this. "Well since you cancelled our last date you are buying this time" Don't be a jerk but be blunt and to the point. There are so many of these people in the world because people let them get away with this crap. Don't wait on her or slow you life down hoping she will contact you, just keep having fun and you will meet someone special one day soon. Lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick974 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 Thanks folks, yes she did mention about her ex right the moment she got into my car and said hello for the first time, she even said "he will pay blabla"... I think I might give her another chance, but as some of you said, if she's annoying from day 1, she will be annoying forever. Maybe she could have told me about what is bugging her at the moment, if it's again ex this or ex that, I might just stop and move on. I'm really near this situation after your comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosti87 Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Thanks folks, yes she did mention about her ex right the moment she got into my car and said hello for the first time, she even said "he will pay blabla"... I think I might give her another chance, but as some of you said, if she's annoying from day 1, she will be annoying forever. Maybe she could have told me about what is bugging her at the moment, if it's again ex this or ex that, I might just stop and move on. I'm really near this situation after your comments. If you try again please be aware of your active participation in this scenario. Be aware that if it goes pear shape that it is your bad as much as her bad. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 OTOH --- you don't have much to worry about when it comes to buying gifts or going to dinner. True. Or listen to some self-entitled date talk about how their ex will pay blablabla. Man, I so would not put up with that. I'm not sure why you're giving her another chance, you've given her several and she still hasn't shown herself to be a class act. Why do you think she ever will? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clinton Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 In my Years of dating, I've found that if they constantly talk about the ex, they aren't over the ex. Run far and fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick974 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 I want to avoid dramas, of course we haven't kissed or anything, she doesn't know my last name, nor where I live and I might just stop at that. Of course I also feel I'm a rebound... seriously when someone whine about her/his ex, what do you want to answer ? Yes he was mean... poor you ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Actually, I would have told her ---- "I don't want to hear about your ex. If you feel compelled to talk about him, please get out of the car. I will have more fun alone". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John John Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 No contact will lead to no dating. She doesn't seem like much of a catch anyway. Agree with mhowe. This girl sounds like the quintessential flake that we are warned about. I would ignore her indefinitely. Or, fire back a snarky response if she asks you to hang out again (maybe that's the New Yorker in me). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosti87 Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Agree with mhowe. This girl sounds like the quintessential flake that we are warned about. I would ignore her indefinitely. Or, fire back a snarky response if she asks you to hang out again (maybe that's the New Yorker in me). Yeah that is a bit of the New Yorker/East Coast in you. I personally would not go there again, but if he needs to go back there at least he has been warned that it just as much on him as her if this goes t1ts up from this point forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulTaker Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 So, what happened when you first dated her? Was she already dating this other guy when you met her, or did that come later (lost interest in you)? That's a long time period between "before summer", and "dating the other guy in August". What happened during that time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freewill1234 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 You're wasting your time with this one. She sounds flaky and a whiner. Great combo ... not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I got so fed up with dates who wanted to use me as a b**ching board/unpaid therapist about their exes and/or women that I started telling them, "Hold up, I'm not a licensed therapist, but I do have credits. And I need practice, so that'll be $25 for the first half hour of therapy and an additional $15 an hour after that." And then when they protested I'll tell the either we were on a date or we were on a therapy session, they couldn't have both. After a time I got tired of even doing that and would just say, "Well, that's it for me," then get up and walk away, date canceled. You could also try the, "Speaking of exes, I had this ex who was smoking hot. Too bad I'll never have anyone that hot again." And then you stare at her pointedly and smile. Yeah, she'll get the hint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuka80 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Man...why are you listening to her whine about another guy? cut that out seriously. And from what you said about her cancelling at the last minute, im already sure she's not into you at all..she's using you as a filler, drop her and find someone else man, trust me on this, if you dont you're only gonna come outta this the loser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Thanks folks, yes she did mention about her ex right the moment she got into my car and said hello for the first time, she even said "he will pay blabla"... I think most reasonable people would walk away after someone makes it clear they are not over an ex and not that into you. So you have to ask yourself why you are not acting reasonably. Are you desperate for a date? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick974 Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 Definitely not desperate, Ms Darcy. I might just block her from that dating site (where she seems connected all day long) and my cellphone (we're still NC). I have some other girls interested, I will just turn to them. Again, thanks everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sportster2005 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Well played Sir, well played. Nailed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t1lersm0m1 Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 She's not very interested. People who can go days without confirming plans and say "had to fix something" are looking for excuses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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