My Two-Wheeled Life

[christwowheels]

Hi. I'm Chris, and I've got problems just like everyone else, and since almost all the cool ENA people seem to have journals, I figured I would start one too. In it, I'll slowly start peeling the onion of my life story, along with day-to-day events in life that might interest you. I welcome any comments you have and I hope to get to know you all better on this wonderful site that has already helped me more than you know.

 

About me...I'm 31 and I currently live in the same large Midwestern US city that I was born and raised in. One of the things I'll talk about a lot is how little I have travelled and how I'm working to fairly drastically change that.

 

My user name is Chris Two Wheels, but I didn't realize that I could capitalize letters when I signed up, so oftentimes people have mistaken it for Christ On Wheels. As a nod to that, my avatar is now a picture of the Church Lady, a Saturday Night Live character from my childhood.

 

In any event, my user name is what it is because I ride a bicycle a lot, both for recreation and sometimes for commuting. I'm not an extremist or anything, but hey, it keeps me relatively fit. One of the things we will explore in the coming months and years is how I need to learn how to drive for the first time and why I haven't learned yet.

 

Of particular interest to readers here, I fell in love this summer, and it is my first serious relationship, so I'm sure I'll explore that here as well.

 

What else? Oh yeah, I am not as well educated as I would like to be--as you can see, I can't write or spell all that well--hehe--but seriously, I need to go to college soon, so that's also an interesting slice of life that I'll share. Alrighty then, I look forward to deciding what to unload about first. See you in the comments!

[panther]

Ah a bicycle. So we something in common, bought mine two weeks ago and I love it, no more trains and subways for me, well at least until winter comes.

 

Welcome to the Journals section.

[blueidealist24]

Using a bicycle is great for the environment. Btw, I don't think you spell or write horribly, and I'm an editor!

[christwowheels]

Wow, today is the 13th anniversary of 9/11 and I almost forgot about it. Now I'm not going to get into the weeds on any of the political elements of that event, because this isn't a forum for that, but since 9/11 is the event in my generation where everyone remembers where they were, I'll share that memory with you.

 

I was a senior in high school at that point. When I first heard the news, I had just arrived to school and my first period class, which was some kind of artistic thing they wanted us to be exposed to, graphic design, I think. The teacher was, uh, Susan, I believe. Yep, I went to a fairly bohemian "Open" program school, so teachers were called by their first names.

 

Anyway, I had just arrived in class and the TVs were all on, tuned to the news. This basically went on all day. Every class had the news on, and very little work was accomplished. Later on that day, I voted for the first time, in a city primary election. Lol, not many people have such a handy way to remember what day they first cast a ballot!

 

I remember we watched a lot of TV in school. Sometimes breaking news events (another event we watched on live TV was the O. J. Simpson verdict in sixth grade). But we watched an awful lot of so-called educational videos. I wonder if this was just to keep us all quiet. Maybe. In any event, I've never been much for watching TV in large groups. TV seems like more of an intimate experience to save for yourself or people you're close to.

 

Anyway, I just want to remember the folks who died on 9/11, and all the other people who died at the hands of other humans, and just use that sadness to try to do the best we can to put good into the world.

 

@panther, thanks.

 

@blueidealist24, actually the writing thing was a little self-depricating humor. People have always said I write really well, at least since I was 12 or so. But thanks for the kind words

[Fudgie]

Ah, 9/11, the day everything changed. I was 11 and in math class when it happened. It's amazing how much has changed in the 13 years since then. I imagine our world would be really different had it not happened.

 

I'm with you on the TV thing - watching TV with a bunch of people I don't know or don't know that well is a little awkward. People who interject at bad times when I'm watching my crime shows annoy me majorly!

[Seraphim]

I remember that day too ,I was off work that day. And my mom called to tell me that a plane had hit one of the towers. So I was watching the news and that's when I saw the second plane hit but I thought it was still the first one that it was a rerun of news footage. It was very shocking. My son still kind of remembers that day , he was almost 4. He used to call it the day of the big boom. It was really a very sad day. My brother lost some personal friends that day. They worked for a financial company that was in one of the towers and I believe the entire company was wiped out .

[Fudgie]

Vic, my sister saw the news footage on loop for so many days, she actually developed an irrational fear of grey/dark storm clouds, reminiscent of the smoke that came from the buildings. 9/11 really amped up her anxiety and for weeks following the attacks, she began to hide in the laundry room during dinner time because she was afraid of car lights - it was a nervous behaviour I hadn't seen in her in many years.

 

I'm still very saddened to see how those attacks touched all of us in a very deep and profound way. I'm not just talking about politics and the wars, about how people viewed each other and other countries. It dramatically changed everyone's attitude.

[Seraphim]

Vic, my sister saw the news footage on loop for so many days, she actually developed an irrational fear of grey/dark storm clouds, reminiscent of the smoke that came from the buildings. 9/11 really amped up her anxiety and for weeks following the attacks, she began to hide in the laundry room during dinner time because she was afraid of car lights - it was a nervous behaviour I hadn't seen in her in many years.

 

I'm still very saddened to see how those attacks touched all of us in a very deep and profound way. I'm not just talking about politics and the wars, about how people viewed each other and other countries. It dramatically changed everyone's attitude.

It is sad to see how it affects people differently. I think it made our kids all more afraid .

 

I know when I was growing up in the Cold War there was always a feeling that something would eventually happen. And there were movies like Red Dawn and such. That movie came out when I was in high school. And it literally scared the crap out of me. And those actions kind of instilled a new fear in a new generation.

[Firiel]

Just wanted to pop in and say that I thought your username was ChristWowHeels, like you loved women in heels or something.

 

Ha ha.

 

I ride my bike a lot too. I'm guessing since you are in the Midwest, there isn't much cycling in the winter?

[christwowheels]

The main thing I'll add on the 9/11 issue is that we as a society kind of lost our idealism a bit, and many I is lost the idea that people are generally decent. I really hope we can get that back, and in many cases, I know we have, but in many cases, we haven't. I don't want to live life having to assume the worst of everybody, you know?

 

@Firiel, actually, there's a pretty significant winter biking community in my city, and in many cold-weather communities, for that matter. "Fat bikes," such as the Surly Pugsley, have tires almost as wide as those of a motorcycle and allow you to ride accross the top of snow piles relatively easily. There are actually people I know that ride their bikes to work every day, year-round. I myself don't ride through the entire winter, but I do ride when the road conditions aren't bad--meaning no ice--and it is above 15F. So generally I take December, January and part of February off from biking, although I often have a day or two in those months where there's a melt and I go out. I even do grocery trips on the bicycle, which is also a very popular way to go shopping in my city, if the crowded bike racks at local retailers are any indication. And yes, there are almost always people parking their bikes at grocers, even in the dead of winter.

 

As for your comments on my username, I'm not a high-heel fetishist, and as proof, my girlfriend rarely wears them--I personally have never seen her wear high heels since we've been together--and it doesn't bother me one bit. In fact, I'm glad she isn't getting her toes all pinched up in uncomfortable shoes.

[Firiel]

Oh, that's cool! I've seen bikes outfitted for snow before, but not that often where I live, probably because we don't get much snow so it would be a waste of money. I ride some in the winter, but not as much because I just can't keep warm, especially my hands. The warmest thing I've discovered is a pair of cotton gloves under a pair of ski gloves, but even that isn't enough (and that's only in 25 degree weather).

[christwowheels]

I use magic stretch gloves under ski gloves, but really thick ones. It also is helpful for my endurance that I've lived my whole life in a city that spends several winter weeks wishing we could get up to 25 degrees! Some days stay below zero all day. Honestly the most important thing is good ear protection--I have a helmet that includes very warm ear flaps and has the holes in it covered.

[christwowheels]

I know many of us have been reading Optomistic Girl's sad story of her husband wanting to end their marriage, and that actually leads me to an affirmation of a decision I'm busy making in my own life.

 

Long story short, I've decided to move to the city where my long-distance girlfriend lives around the beginning of next year. Thankfully, we both live in the US, so there's no immigration worries. But obviously a move is a big adjustment and whatnot, and many people I know aren't very supportive of my plans. Although it isn't that big of a deal really, as we aren't planning to live together, just to be in the same town so we can date like normal people who don't have to travel a thousand miles to see each other. And her state has lower tuition than my current state.

 

Anyway, hearing about Optomistic Girl's marriage affirms to me that I'm making the right choice because it sounds like maybe her husband married her before getting a detailed preview of what life might be like (although that's no excuse to dump her without trying to make it work!). Granted, due to the whole immigration issues, they didn't have this opportunity that I have, but I am determined to take full advantage of my citizenship to try to be happy.

 

So what I'm doing now is spending a good deal of my free time cleaning out items in my home, because truth be told, I've been a bit of a packrat over the years. Nothing like the TV show "Hoarders," but if I had continued the pattern I exhibited five to seven years ago for another couple decades, I probably would have qualified for that program. Ultimately; nothing means as much as a chance at true love and lifelong happiness, so I'm shedding my extra stuff and preparing a cross-country move. Wish me luck!

[IAmFCA]

As you requested, wishing you barrels of luck, CoW! (I only just realized one has to use a lowercase o...)

 

I recently put into my ENA solo journal a list of rules for oneself, with respect to relationships and within the paradigm of the Law of Attraction. I found them on the web somewhere, set forth as rules to find an LTR. The rules apply more broadly than that.

 

The rule I am thinking of while writing you is "Love without fear of getting hurt." Our friends fear for us, they are our friends and loved ones and they don't want to feel pain either. It is harder for them; they don't get to feel the love as you do and they fear the pain.

 

If we let fear guide us, we will die while still living. Good on you for following your instincts.

[christwowheels]

As you requested, wishing you barrels of luck, CoW! (I only just realized one has to use a lowercase o...)

 

I appreciate your comments and encouragement. I do believe you're right that if you don't take some chances in life, your life is going to wind up being boring and barely worth living, so I'm going to just keep plodding along.

 

Hehe, I never thought about my username in much detail when I was picking it, mainly because I was distraught/depressed when I signed up here and also I didn't notice that you could choose to capitalize letters in the middle of a username. It's actually intended to be Chris Two Wheels, but you can call me whatever you want. My friends call me Chris, my girlfriend calls me Christopher and my mom calls me "Bo." And that last one is a story for another day.

 

Tonight I baked something from scratch, using real flour and baking powder and everything, for the first time in a few years. It's in the oven now and I'm wondering how it will turn out...worst-case scenario, I just wasted some perfectly good raspberries lol.

[IAmFCA]

Tonight I baked something from scratch, using real flour and baking powder and everything,

 

Lololol

I can hear it. You are in a good place.

[Fudgie]

What did you bake and how did it turn out? Raspberries, yum!

[Cheetarah]

I moved in the past for an ex of mine. It ultimately did not work out and frankly, I think much of it had to do with the fact that I was a dedicated city girl, he lived in a small town that was borderline rural, and if it were up to him he would have lived on a farm milking cows and feeding the pigs at 4am. I didn't even like bugs near me. I made a fool of myself when I met his stepmother. They had this great deck and open yard straight into the woods, was beautiful. Of course, it was bug city. I was twitching and swatting things to the point where she was giving me the eye and made a big production out of bringing out the "citronella candle that never had to be used". The way his family was, they do tease each other like that but still, I know I was being a loon.

 

We were about 90 minutes from a big city though, and I desperately wanted to retreat to it. He hated it, having lived in our major metro area previously. I remember driving on the highway saying, "it's DARK...I can't see anything...This is scary, I think this is the makings of a horror film...Who doesn't put lights on the express way? What kind of place is this? Let's go shopping. What's open? Nothing? It's 8pm! What kind of town is this, do they roll up the streets at 4 and everyone lazily walks home to play family scrabble and churn butter for the evening meal?"

 

Lol, it was a real disaster. I could never adjust. It caused a lot of problems, because neither one of us really wanted to budge very much. I would love to live somewhere like that, now. I've grown very tired of the city life. I do love the conveniences but I could do without.

 

I never regret doing it, though. I would have followed him anywhere, and really we both followed each other. But ultimately there were other issues that contributed to the breakdown. Other people did not agree with my plans because of the on/off aspect of our relationship, and I get it. But, we both needed to try to see if the external factors were the issues. Sometimes you just have to know you tried. We did. The external issues were not the problem.

 

I support your decision in the way that sometimes you just have to do it. I would never do it now because I have my son and my son has his family here, but when I was single and childless it was a different story. I'll say, that I certainly hope that it works out. Yes, it's crazy and foolish and many other things, but if you've got the means and you aren't leaving yourself with nothing, to be living in a cardboard box should things not pan out properly on the school/job front out there, then what the hell. I wish you luck.

[Seraphim]

Good luck Chris!

 

I remember before my husband and I married when we were really young he wanted to become a US Marine. So we actually traveled to New York State went to an embassy talked to people blah blah.... I'm pretty sure at the time I would have followed him if that was the avenue he took.

[Fudgie]

Cheet, maybe you could find a happy medium where someday you could live near a major city but also sort of in the country. That's kind of where I grew up. I grew up in a rural area near fields and farms and woods, but I was 35 min of easy drive from a major metro city with lots to do and stuff was open all the time. My parents commuted to work in the city and then would come back home to be in the country.

 

Now I am living by myself in that major city. I'll be here for at least a few more years but I'm not going to lie, I am tired of it. I like working and some of the events here but not living here. But it's cheap here and I need to be on my own so I'll be here for a long while. I want to someday move back to my hometown so I can be in the country and commute to the city. I miss the fresh air. I miss seeing and hearing many birds. I miss seeing the stars on clear nights. I miss how it was very quiet.

 

 

Sent via Tapatalk

[IAmFCA]

City mouse / country mouse. If I never commuted again, I would be okay with that! Love living where there are people everywhere, stores, restaurants, dive bars, theaters, all of it. Love going outside and seeing people on the sidewalk. Love having a sidewalk. Ideal for me is a yard to mow with a reel mower and for cooking on a grill, and growing a selection of herbs and salad greens etc. I didn't even have a car for years; didn't miss it; wouldn't have one now except for my role as mom.

 

When my family moved out to the suburbs, the very suburban suburbs, it took me a long while to learn to sleep. The cars that would come occasionally down their street at night - there were hardly any. Against the dark night, their headlights were like beacons. I found it very disconcerting and moved back into a high density, multi-use neighborhood as soon as I grew up and out.

 

OOPS sorry CTW, didn't mean to hijack.

[Cheetarah]

Ugh. Did you grow up in the city, ITIC? I did. I think that's why I'm sick of it. It should not be where you can stand in the gangway between 2 homes and stretch your arm, easily touching both buildings.

 

I have a track by my house and I am thrilled to pieces when I am the only one on it. Of course I have to go there at 4:30am to be alone, but I sure love it.

[Cheetarah]

Nevermind, you did. Missed that part.

 

I don't know how you do it!

[Fudgie]

I grew up in the country and still far prefer the country. Okay maybe not TRULY in the middle of nowhere where there is no city within 30-45 min, that would be too remote, but being surrounded by quiet farm fields and not really having neighbours is a good feeling. A very good feeling.

 

But for now, the city it is. At least it's cheap here.

 

Okay, this is a weird comment but I really don't like how the metro parts of the city smell. I can always smell a little bit of sewage when I walk down certain sidewalks and then some people walk by in hordes and it just smells like...people, due to body odor or something. That's what the city smells like to me: people. Like a pungent mix of b.o., wet dog, and feces. People smell bad. Trees and fields and flowers smell much better. I am even used to cow manure smell because the farmer near my family's home uses it on his fields. I'd rather smell that than human sewage.

 

I find it interesting, Cheet, that you grew up in the city and you tire of it now. I find that most people tend to stick with what they were born into, you know? But sometimes they change, yes. My childhood best friend grew up in the same rural-ish town that I did, and she loves the major cities, loves NYC. Something about it really appeals to her.

 

Sorry for the t/j.

[Cheetarah]

I don't like the way some parts smell, either, and every neighborhood has a "smell". Yes, sewage, BO, curry mixed in with someone who doused themselves with too much cologne. And sweaty ass.

 

When I had my friend from TN come here, it had been a few years since he had moved, so he's like "Cheet...the city smells like feet and farts. How did I live here all my life and never notice that?" We get used to the funk I guess. Because I took a whiff and I didn't smell feet or farts no matter how many times I sniffed.