Batya33 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Start talking about your family or about a wedding or engagement party you went to, places you'd like to live in the future, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Dude your passiveness is crazy. You expect the girl to do everything. In a couple of dates during an intimate moment ask her casually what she is looking for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted September 7, 2014 Author Share Posted September 7, 2014 Dude your passiveness is crazy. You expect the girl to do everything. In a couple of dates during an intimate moment ask her casually what she is looking for. I agree to a certain extent but I'm sure if I said I was going to ask this I'd have been shot down for being too pushy haha. So you suggest after a little kiss or special moment t I just slip in with "are you looking for anything serious?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I agree to a certain extent but I'm sure if I said I was going to ask this I'd have been shot down for being too pushy haha. So you suggest after a little kiss or special moment t I just slip in with "are you looking for anything serious?" That's what I would do. Maybe say something along the lines of "I've really enjoyed spending time with you and was wondering what is it that you are looking for?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted September 8, 2014 Share Posted September 8, 2014 That's what I would do. Maybe say something along the lines of "I've really enjoyed spending time with you and was wondering what is it that you are looking for?" I agree with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted September 8, 2014 Author Share Posted September 8, 2014 Thanks, ill try and drop it in this week if we see each other. Try and keep it as light hearted as possible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 Just a little update: Im yet to see her this week, both have been really busy with work but weve kept in touch and I have no worries that shes losing interest etc, we plan on spending saturday together which will be great, but theres one little worry. Im not a huge fan of talking on the phone, I prefer texting, you can reply in your own time and its a lot more personal than say a phonecall when youre out and about. Not even my friends call, they know I dont like it, its always texts. This girl has started to call me, I thought you know what? Im going to give it a shot, try and get used to it. The thing is, she phones a lot and I mean a lot. The other day for example she called whilst I was out walking the dog in the evening, We spoke for a good hour, I managed to do it although feeling awkward throughout, she was off to work and ended the call by saying ill speak to you later. A few hours later she called again, we spoke for about 30 minutes, by now although it was lovely for her to call I was winding down and chilling out, I said I was off for a bath and she said ok I'll call you later... so weve pretty much spoke about everything for 1:30 hours! Whilst in the bath I had a jokey text off her (a bit rude) then true to her word a phonecall later. This has been the norm for the past week. Dont get me wrong im stoked shes this keen but it seems a bit OTT added to the fact I dont like speaking on the phone. I've told her Im not a huge fan of phonecalls but she laughed it off. Am I being a bit of a drama queen here or is this the start of possessiveness? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 It is not the start of posessiveness. She prefers phone calls to texting. You prefer texting. If you don't want to talk, don't answer the call. You are a bit of a drama queen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t1lersm0m1 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I prefer texting with everyone except my partner. I prefer phone calls with them. That said, it's ok to not talk on the phone for 1.5 hours per day. It's almost rushing the relationship along. I like to get to know someone slowly, and don't need to know everything happening in their life in the courting phase. I can see your dilemma, you enjoy spending time with her and want it to move forward, but don't want to talk on the phone all of the time. And if you tell her that, she may not be as keen on you anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 I prefer texting with everyone except my partner. I prefer phone calls with them. That said, it's ok to not talk on the phone for 1.5 hours per day. It's almost rushing the relationship along. I like to get to know someone slowly, and don't need to know everything happening in their life in the courting phase. I can see your dilemma, you enjoy spending time with her and want it to move forward, but don't want to talk on the phone all of the time. And if you tell her that, she may not be as keen on you anymore. This is exactly it. I cant and dont want to ignore the call, thats just rude, if im genuinely busy then obviously I'll return the call later. Thing is shes not really giving me as much to talk about, it seems to be her talking at me, either that or I genuinely have nothing interesting to say about my day haha. Im probably coming accross on here as horrible and I know if the calls stopped id be soon whinging on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t1lersm0m1 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 No, not at all. When my ex and I first startd talking on the phone it was background/getting to know each other phone calls. Then as our relationship developed it was catching up on our day phone calls. But it was all very natural feeling. It sounds like your phone calls aren't natural feeling. I don't envy you right now. It's like, how do you tell her you're not a big phone guy without her taking it personally and not wanting to move forward? I think it's good to push yourself out of your comfort zone with her and try being more of a phone guy, but I also think several phone calls a day to the tune of over 1.5 hours is stretching it. Im probably coming accross on here as horrible and I know if the calls stopped id be soon whinging on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I would stop texting her if that seems to trigger another phone call. My husband and I were long distance when we started dating again and on the days we were apart we had one phone call a day ranging from 20-45 minutes usually and always in the evening, after dinner. During the day we would email here and there-most often lighthearted stuff. I really enjoyed our night time phone calls -we were home, it was relaxing. I think mostly it was even as far as who talked. I don't think you two need to be in touch as much as you describe especially since you're not long distance. Why not suggest a brief phone call at night or another time when it's comfortable to chat? Ask her how she feels about texting as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Im probably coming accross on here as horrible and I know if the calls stopped id be soon whinging on here. And this is why you are being a bit of a drama queen. I'd just try to reach a compromise - e.g. 30 minute phone calls at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Telly986 Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 I think it depends, if the date went really well, end it with a simple kiss if it was kind awkward, save the kiss for another moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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