RKO Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Will try to make this as brief as possible, back story here: Last night I went on my 1st proper date with this girl, shes recently got back from holiday and we text pretty much everyday whilst she was away. All was great. I found out from a mutual friend that she really likes me and was looking forward to meeting me last night. Good stuff So last night we went for a few drinks (non-alcoholic) we really hit it off, we stayed out really late just chatting, lots of eye contact, touching, laughing, she kept giving me compliments that I was funny. It was just a great time. A really good time. We were out a good 5 hours, the last hour she didnt want anymore to drink but said she wanted to stay out so we got a corner and just chatted. The end of the night came and I walked her to her car, always the awkward moment of a date, we hugged and gave each other a kiss on the cheek and she stroked my face and then said for me to text her when I got in safe. Now she beat me to saying that as thats what I was going to say haha, anyway she thanked me for the night and off we went on our separate ways. Now I just cant get my head around not having a proper kiss, we have the night we met, albeit drunk but I just thought it would happen again. It kinda threw me to be honest. I got home to a text off her thanking me for a great night and again saying im really funny. I thanked her too and asked if she would want to do it again which she replied instantly with that she would like to. We then continued chatting until the small hours of the morning. Im just interested to know peoples thoughts on why there was no kiss, I have to hold my hands up and say im not the most confident person when it comes to kissing someone on a date and making the move but I just got the feeling she didnt want to kiss at the end. Is there a rule somewhere that girls dont kiss on a 1st date? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lerenard Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 There is no rule for everybody. I think you are overthinking A LOT here. If she wasn't in the mood for kissing - she wasn't. Everything else is going OK, it seems. So its either you reading too much into it, or its her not being interested in kissing now or ever. If you go on another date and she does that again - I would ask her if I would tell her that I really want to kiss her and see how she reacts, easy as that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 It's not like you tried to kiss her and she didn't want to. You're overthinking things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 It's not like you tried to kiss her and she didn't want to. You're overthinking things. Do you know what? that's absolutely true! I didn't even think of it that way. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Sounds like you both had a great time and she is very interested. No rule on kissing on the first date, I wouldn't do it (maybe unless I'm really boozed up, but who wants to do that on a first date), just because personally I'm not comfortable with kissing someone I had just met (or even just met a couple of times), maybe she's the same, or maybe she would have kissed you if you initiated it, but I wouldn't read much into it, she definitely seems interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 Sounds like you both had a great time and she is very interested. No rule on kissing on the first date, I wouldn't do it (maybe unless I'm really boozed up, but who wants to do that on a first date), just because personally I'm not comfortable with kissing someone I had just met (or even just met a couple of times), maybe she's the same, or maybe she would have kissed you if you initiated it, but I wouldn't read much into it, she definitely seems interested. Thank you. I just presumed because we kissed prior to this on a night out then it would happen. Looking back now many of my past relationships we didnt kiss on the 1st date either so I am indeed looking into things too much. Shes already made contact again this morning. its all good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t1lersm0m1 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 If you guys had a good time and you are both clearly interested in repeating it, then I wouldn't worry about the lack of a kiss. Now if it was the fourth or fifth date, then I would become concerned, but I woudl also ask why you didn't kiss her? I really like men who take charge and lead with that respect. She may too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 If you guys had a good time and you are both clearly interested in repeating it, then I wouldn't worry about the lack of a kiss. Now if it was the fourth or fifth date, then I would become concerned, but I woudl also ask why you didn't kiss her? I really like men who take charge and lead with that respect. She may too. Its a confidence thing. I know exactly what you are saying here. A first date is always difficult for me at the end. Its only when I get home and think back on the occasion I pick up on flirty things etc. I guess I was just cautious in case she didnt see me in that way. At least I know now a second date is in the works that hopefully she sees me as more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t1lersm0m1 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Do yourself a favor and make sure you seal the second date with a kiss, unless she gives you clear indications she is not interested. If you don't, there's a chance she can think you are not interested in her romantically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 There can be so much pressure and expectation on the first kiss that typically ends at the end of a date. When you think about it really be something spontaneous and done in a moment when you most feel like it, not because. . "oh, yah, we are supposed to do this NOW" I don't mind kissing on a first date and I have often done so because I felt it was expected, but if I have my choice I'd rather wait til a more romantic connection develops and we kissed because we 'wanted to'. See her again, kiss her in the middle of the date. . then kiss her again My guess is that she knows you like her and you were either nervous or being a gentlemen. To me. .this is a good sign. Don't give it much thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 There can be so much pressure and expectation on the first kiss that typically ends at the end of a date. When you think about it really be something spontaneous and done in a moment when you most feel like it, not because. . "oh, yah, we are supposed to do this NOW" I don't mind kissing on a first date and I have often done so because I felt it was expected, but if I have my choice I'd rather wait til a more romantic connection develops and we kissed because we 'wanted to'. See her again, kiss her in the middle of the date. . then kiss her again My guess is that she knows you like her and you were either nervous or being a gentlemen. To me. .this is a good sign. Don't give it much thought. This is exactly how it happened with one of my dates, on the fourth date in the middle of a picnic, and I much prefer that than if they just do it obligatorily because "you are meant to at the end of a first, second or third date". Really, if someone keeps asking you out, you have a great time and lots of flirting, even if they didn't try to kiss you on the first few dates, would you honestly think they are not interested? I mean I certainly wouldn't.. I don't know about your date but I personally don't believe in anything that resembles rules (aka you have to do something because the rule says you have to do this and that by this timeframe). Honestly, just do it when it feels right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManyDates Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 You MET for the first time - this usually doesn't warrant a kiss. Any 1st "meet" makeout action I've been involved with meant one night stand - not LTR. Kissing on the first date is ok if you already know the person, not online stuff IMO. Online stuff can take 3 dates before you get any lip action Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 You MET for the first time - this usually doesn't warrant a kiss. Any 1st "meet" makeout action I've been involved with meant one night stand - not LTR. Kissing on the first date is ok if you already know the person, not online stuff IMO. Online stuff can take 3 dates before you get any lip action Well you see I met her through a friend and we've all been out 3 times, the last of which we kissed each other, albeit drunk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted September 3, 2014 Author Share Posted September 3, 2014 2nd proper date tomorrow guys, I'm so pumped for it. I'm just going to go for the kiss when the times right. We've been very suggestive about kissing this week so I think it might happen. I haven't been this excited to see someone on a date for years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eskimobobseal Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Don't worry about the kiss, let it happen naturally. Even if it takes like 3 dates, just wait until the moment is right - you'll know. My ex gave me a peck on the cheek after a date and that was like, the biggest signal ever for me to go in for the kill. Maybe you'll get something like that, maybe you won't - but if she's going out with you she obviously is willing to kiss you so go for it. You don't need to make out, just give her a quick kiss and be done with it, but make sure the moment is right and you do it with confidence. Even if the kiss sucks, its a first kiss - it happens. You guys will develop physical chemistry with time. Trust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 My sexiest relationship took 6 dates for even a modest, public, kiss. Just look for the deeper connection, the kiss will arrive as if compelled by both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Heck - i NEVER have had or given a kiss on the first date. Its not bad or weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mellie Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 It took seven dates with one guy for us to kiss. I initiated it in the end (well somebody had to - it was obvious we liked each other otherwise we wouldn't keep going out!). It drove me a little crazy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 Im glad im not the only one in the same boat. Its interesting to read all your comments about it actually. we didnt have a POA for tonight but its just somewhat happened that we are both in the same area after work so we are going to go to the pier, few drinks then a walk on the beach, maybe play some arcade games. A teenager date haha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eskimobobseal Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 My sexiest relationship took 6 dates for even a modest, public, kiss. Just look for the deeper connection, the kiss will arrive as if compelled by both of you. I think there's a giant misconception that if you don't kiss on the first date the relationship is doomed to fail. I don't understand what's so wrong with taking it slow? I know, there's a limit and you don't want to take it TOO slow, but what's so bad about waiting 3-6 dates before nailing that kiss? It'll mean a whole lot more by then anyway, because the two people involved would have gotten to know each other very well. Guys these days especially, are so into doing things so freakin quickly (OKAY, I KISSED HER, NOW I HAVE TO GET HER INTO BED NOWNOWNOWNOWNOW) and it ends up ruining everything. Just relax, it'll all happen, let nature take its course. Jeeze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 BEST DATE EVER!!! I tried not to think much of the whole kissing thing and make an issue of it. Within id say 10 minutes of walking we were flirting massivley, touching etc. We played some air hockey and at the end of the game (which I won ) I went over to her and we just kissed, I have no reason why, but like has been said here, it just happened, it felt right! From that moment on we spent the rest of the evening holding hands, being affectionate and kissing. Ended the night cuddled up on a hammock on the beach star gazing. how romantic haha. Thanks to everyone on their input on this thread. Youre all a million dollars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 Yay ... good for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted September 7, 2014 Author Share Posted September 7, 2014 So everything is still going great but chatting with a friend today he threw a question at me that has thrown me. He asked "so is she after a relationship?" I've literally no idea. It's something I can't believe I haven't asked myself yet! The closest I got was from our mutual friend in that a month ago when we met she said that she didn't want to rush into anything. Been single for about a year after a 6 year relationship and wanted the next person to be the right one. I'm all for not rushing, all for it infact but at the same time I'd like to know I'm getting involved with someone that wants something or hopes for something rather than just a bit of fun. Do I have a right to ask her this or bring it up? There's no way I want to word it in a serious manner and scare her off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 I think it's fine to have a discussion of general goals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RKO Posted September 7, 2014 Author Share Posted September 7, 2014 I think it's fine to have a discussion of general goals. How would you suggest bringing it up? It's definitely something that I want to do face to face rather than text. Also don't want to make a massive issue about it. She hasn't said anything to suggest she wants just fun, comparing with girls in the past they've pretty much said from the outset if they want a relationship or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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