My story about a year later

[Brokenheart99]

So I was dumped last June by the love of my life. We dated three years. He was everything to me, I gave up so much to be with him. So much. We were an on and off emotional roller coaster, till one day when things had finally started going great for a long while and i finally felt comfortable and secure in the relationship, he decided to break it off with me hard. It was hell for me, you can look back at my old posts. I was an absolute wreck. I had no one to turn to but ena. I didn't ever think it would be possible to ever recover, I went through some of my hardest times and not just because of the break up.

 

A few months into the break up, I was informed he was dating someone new. It destroyed me even more. I went through all the cycle of emotions, inconsolable sadness, hopelessness, anger, desperation, you name it. I finally blocked him as much as I could out of my life and feared the day I would get word he was married, because I knew it was coming soon. I couldn't stand the pain and sleepless nights anymore. I wanted to heal and I just wanted to be over him. And I wanted to feel the way I did about someone else as I did about him. That was the hardest thing for me, to believe that I could love like that again.

 

The other day, I got tired of living in fear of coming accross a picture or hearing word he was married, so I decided to finally check because I felt I was in a healthy place. And I did check, he got married some months back, they seem happy. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt seeing them. I felt nothing basically. I wasn't upset, I wasn't mad, or sad, I didn't cry. I was indifferent. It was a bit odd seeing his face because I hadn't seen him in so long, but other than that I felt nothing. It was like looking at a magazine. The final stage of healing. Am I happy for him? I don't care really what happens to him. I certainly don't wish him evil, but if good things happen to him, good for him, it's not my concern. I miss the fun times we had, but not in a romantic way. Does the break up affect me? Sure, I have a lot of emotional damage that I am trying to sort through in my new relationships, but I know I will make it through. I used to think he was the best looking guy, seeing his pics made me feel so sad because he was so good looking to me. Now I see them and I see his faults, he is finally knocked off the pedestal I had him on in my head. It was an incredibly long journey getting here, I never thought I would make it here, I never thought I would stop loving him or missing him, but here I am. Through tears and sobs and misery, I am here. I finally made it! I can't begin to thank the wonderful support I received here, you all were the only friends I had in an incredibly hard time in my life. So thank you

 

To those still going through a break up, hang in there, it may not seem possible, but I promise you will make it through. I am testament to it. If I can get here, so can you. The other side is glorious, I can't wait to see you all here.

[SooSad33]

Very good. Glad you're improving

 

tc

[catfeeder]

Hooray for you! All your own private milestones along the way were very important. For example, think about how much easier things started to get in your life once you were able to get a night of restful sleep.

 

Thank you for posting this. People grieving a breakup need to hear that healing does happen from someone who's documented the worst of their pain here.

 

Head high!

[ParisPaulette]

Thank you for a wonderful post that proves healing is possible after a breakup.

[spazmy]

Hey Brokenheart. This is fantastic. That is such an empowering post for many. While I would not judge either side for breaking up since that happens often. But the fact that he married shortly thereafter is an indication that he was actually not worth it. You did good and are clearly the better human being in this situation. And great to see you progress. You can go ahead now -- life is your canvas. Hugs.

[love1985]

I can't wait to be where you are!! Thanks for sharing!!

[butterflyburn]

Congratulations

 

 

A luta continua

[Marlee]

Thank you so much for sharing this. Gives hope. Happy for you.

 

If you don't mind, I have a few questions:

 

- Do you feel like you have changed as a person because of this? If yes, how?

 

- Have you hade any contact with him during the year? Did he contact you?

 

- How long before you started to date again? How has that been?

 

- What were the most helpful things you did to heal do you think? Did you have any major turning points?

 

Like you, I found out that my ex has a new girlfriend a few months after we broke up. Still devastated. For me, finding that out, made everything even more painful. Still does.

 

I love that you say you now look at pictures and that you can now see his flaws. Can not wait to get there.

 

One last question, and this is for Spazmy. You wrote: "But the fact that he married shortly thereafter is an indication that he was actually not worth it. You did good and are clearly the better human being in this situation." What do you mean by that? (I am sincerely curious, as I wish I could think this away about my ex, but I can't. Still think he is a great person, even if he had a new girlfriend just three weeks later. Just guess I wasn't right for him. Genuinely wish I could see his bad in it and be angry)

 

Once again - congratulations and thanks for posting this!