Diary Of A Redhead

[Batya33]

I'm glad you're enjoying your life! We took one pregnancy class and one baby care  class at the hospital before I gave birth.  

I deliberately chose extremely challenging career paths and academic paths and had a very hard and stressful time finding the right man for me to marry and start a family with.  So part of the stress was self-created and part was wanting what I guess many women want- a good marriage and family. It just didn't come easy for me at all.  I am so thankful I went for it all - professionally and personally.  I never want to do the sort of more than full time career I did for 15 years -ever again  - but like I said I reap the professional, financial and personal benefits of my choice.  

My parents worked so very very hard to provide for us and to keep it all together.  I distinctly remember in my 20s going to an engagement party for a former coworker who came from a very wealthy family.  And her friends were chatting about their winter break vacations they'd been on skiing I think in Colorado -maybe Aspen too? Like it was nothing.  With their families.  Like another world I was peeking into.  Obviously I'd been around wealth like that before but I think it was the particular form of family wealth that these younger adults were benefiting from but saying it like it was -nothing.  I was intrigued in a way but sort of like twilight zone surreal.

Later on I routinely was around very wealthy, famous people at various events, got to know some of them on a more personal level.  It was really fun! But not my world on a daily basis nor did I wish it to be.  I was proud of being a self-made woman and I still am.  Like my son who calls me a bad-a___ mom lol.

The deep breathing I do helps me with -sleep/centering myself and -stomach discomfort!

[mylolita]

10 hours ago, Batya33 said:

I'm glad you're enjoying your life! We took one pregnancy class and one baby care  class at the hospital before I gave birth.  

I deliberately chose extremely challenging career paths and academic paths and had a very hard and stressful time finding the right man for me to marry and start a family with.  So part of the stress was self-created and part was wanting what I guess many women want- a good marriage and family. It just didn't come easy for me at all.  I am so thankful I went for it all - professionally and personally.  I never want to do the sort of more than full time career I did for 15 years -ever again  - but like I said I reap the professional, financial and personal benefits of my choice.  

My parents worked so very very hard to provide for us and to keep it all together.  I distinctly remember in my 20s going to an engagement party for a former coworker who came from a very wealthy family.  And her friends were chatting about their winter break vacations they'd been on skiing I think in Colorado -maybe Aspen too? Like it was nothing.  With their families.  Like another world I was peeking into.  Obviously I'd been around wealth like that before but I think it was the particular form of family wealth that these younger adults were benefiting from but saying it like it was -nothing.  I was intrigued in a way but sort of like twilight zone surreal.

Later on I routinely was around very wealthy, famous people at various events, got to know some of them on a more personal level.  It was really fun! But not my world on a daily basis nor did I wish it to be.  I was proud of being a self-made woman and I still am.  Like my son who calls me a bad-a___ mom lol.

The deep breathing I do helps me with -sleep/centering myself and -stomach discomfort!

This is so cool Batya, I admire you greatly! You knew what you wanted and you went out to get it! Can’t get more ballsy than that! Whatever that may be for anyone, I admire it.

 

I’m in a particular season of my life too at the moment, which is having young children in a bunch and dedicating all the rest of my time to them and my marriage. Me and the hubs have talked about this now and then - that when they are all in full time school and grown up, if I wanted to, he’d more than support me to go to university or maybe write a book, take on a small investment property - something like that, if our finances are okay in a decades time; who knows! Who knows. He also said I’d deserve a break and to enjoy my free time! Did I land a gent or what?! 

 

Thing is Batya, I feel exactly the same way about university as I did looking down the barrel at it being 17. Nothing jumps out, and the subjects I really enjoy; I would rather self teach over my years. I’m around a lot of entrepreneurs who have no degrees in any of their lines of business. My husband has no formal art degree, yet he’s been an art dealer for 25 plus years now. In his antique business as well as other friends, no formal historical degrees, nothing - yet they operate and run and are extremely knowledgeable simply through experience. 
 

I think if I do take up some work in the future, it won’t be via the normal path of formal education or even a normal job where I say, go to an office. I’m just speculating but in the past that has never been my scene either. 
 

I’m off grid at the moment 😆 and feel extremely lucky to be financially able to make all these decisions. Almost too much choice, actually! I’m not forced either way. 
 

And I was nodding when I read your accounts of generational wealth! It’s a different world isn’t it. My husbands clients come round often, a few are members of the British royal family, it’s very surreal, but the ones he deals with her disarmingly  normal, apart from security! (In their own home) and, our kids have even played with their kids! It’s very out of this world! They haggle as well. They never pay full price, how funny is that? And are very down to earth, with regular problems. 
 

Celebrities as well, like you say - in the hubs dealings, he has many celebrity clients and has their personal phone numbers, they text him. Creators of huge software companies too, one of which is in New York like you!!! He sells to quite a few people in New York actually! Those are the nights he’s e-mailing and texting at 2am! HA! They’re just people, as you’ll know yourself. Once the star struck ness wears off and they’re offering you a coffee, you realise they aren’t a God after all 🥲

 

I suppose we must follow our own path. I never take my situation for granted Batya and often it rests on a pin head. If I thought about it too much, too often, I probably would be stressed! 
 

I do feel for my husband though. He is such an old school kind of man. He doesn’t burden me with anything financial or any of his issues. He’ll talk about other things, how he feels about certain things, but I know he bottles up his stresses, which he has plenty. 
 

I suppose I try to take on as much with the kids as I can, cook all the meals, keep the house immaculate and try to be his peace, although that is pretty laughable as peaceful I am naturally not 🤣 He’s simple. He doesn’t want arguments for no reason and he doesn’t want constant streams of negativity and complaining. I think that might be one of the reasons I journal! Get it all out so I don’t hit him with it! 
 

Having kids and being married have been the two biggest things I’ve ever done in my life Batya. They have been the most changing and eye opening for me - and heart opening. I can’t quit, basically; and I won’t. I am dedicating myself to something that will last until I die. It’s exhilarating and also heavy sometimes. But I wouldn’t have it any other way! I derive this huge, wholesome satisfaction and purpose in life; that I am building something. Something I will look back on and find comfort in. Do you ever feel that way? 
 

x

[Batya33]

I love how well you know yourself and how you look over your accomplishments and goals.  I turned 34 in 2000 and I'd always thought I'd be married and done having kids by then LOL.  It seemed like a round number -2000 plus you know pre-35 was safest for having kids.  Man plans/god laughs.  I think of going back to school but likely like my mom did to audit classes not for a grade or a particular degree. My mom went back to our alma mater for 15-20 years and my dad audited some classes too after he retired.  I love the formal education I've done -but emphasis on I've. Not all of it by a long shot! I also liked the teaching assistant stuff I did in college and grad school. 

Way back when I went to college there was more emphasis on women going but there was still the sort of default that a woman should choose what would allow her to be home with the kids -like teaching or perhaps strict 9 to 5 secretarial work. I had some pushback with my goals for sure.  

I remember a friend of mine who is my age going through IVF for years, basically her husband's last sperm worked LOL and she  gave birth at the same age as me and had to return to work shortly thereafter -she's a physician and she said if you take a break longer it's basically -over.  Career wise.  So she made that choice. 

I likely couldn't have gone back to my high level I was pre-kid after 5-7 years out but I did not want to either emotionally, professionally or financially (meaning no need financially ).  No regrets at all.  My husband took no time off really at all - 2 weeks for paternity leave then he'd finished up some work pre-birth so he had a lighter load the first couple of months.  What helped so much was all of this was discussed beforehand and for a long time so obviously it's different when you're suddenly alone with a newborn 24-7 but the prep and discussions before helped a lot.  I signed up for it, the end.

I don't think formal education is for everyone at all.  Or working in an office.  I do -as an aside- worry a lot about the significant number of moms I know who get caught up in those MLMs because most end up losing money or not making a dime and it's not like that's going to help them in getting a legit job that pays -as far as beefing up the resume. 

It's so hard because they all want to "work from home" -I knew when my son was young I couldn't focus on work-work unless he was napping and I knew this because I did work on - various things I had to do to shift from working in one city to another, work on my resume, do phone calls and emails with my network, etc and sound -smart -lol - and if he was awake/around -I mean forget it.  This is why so many employers require work from home moms to have uninterrupted time/space to do their work -I don't blame them -but then it kind of defeats the purpose if you have to hire a sitter, etc (I was that sitter briefly for a new mom studying for her medical school admission test -I was a teen -it didn't work out well because in the apartment she could hear him fussing and while he was totally safe I mean -she was the mom, right?

Thanks for listening to me ramble.  It's ever changing this so-called work-life-mom-balance.  I love your insights and wisdom and thank you for your compliments -doing my best...

[mylolita]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

I love how well you know yourself and how you look over your accomplishments and goals.  I turned 34 in 2000 and I'd always thought I'd be married and done having kids by then LOL.  It seemed like a round number -2000 plus you know pre-35 was safest for having kids.  Man plans/god laughs.  I think of going back to school but likely like my mom did to audit classes not for a grade or a particular degree. My mom went back to our alma mater for 15-20 years and my dad audited some classes too after he retired.  I love the formal education I've done -but emphasis on I've. Not all of it by a long shot! I also liked the teaching assistant stuff I did in college and grad school. 

Way back when I went to college there was more emphasis on women going but there was still the sort of default that a woman should choose what would allow her to be home with the kids -like teaching or perhaps strict 9 to 5 secretarial work. I had some pushback with my goals for sure.  

I remember a friend of mine who is my age going through IVF for years, basically her husband's last sperm worked LOL and she  gave birth at the same age as me and had to return to work shortly thereafter -she's a physician and she said if you take a break longer it's basically -over.  Career wise.  So she made that choice. 

I likely couldn't have gone back to my high level I was pre-kid after 5-7 years out but I did not want to either emotionally, professionally or financially (meaning no need financially ).  No regrets at all.  My husband took no time off really at all - 2 weeks for paternity leave then he'd finished up some work pre-birth so he had a lighter load the first couple of months.  What helped so much was all of this was discussed beforehand and for a long time so obviously it's different when you're suddenly alone with a newborn 24-7 but the prep and discussions before helped a lot.  I signed up for it, the end.

I don't think formal education is for everyone at all.  Or working in an office.  I do -as an aside- worry a lot about the significant number of moms I know who get caught up in those MLMs because most end up losing money or not making a dime and it's not like that's going to help them in getting a legit job that pays -as far as beefing up the resume. 

It's so hard because they all want to "work from home" -I knew when my son was young I couldn't focus on work-work unless he was napping and I knew this because I did work on - various things I had to do to shift from working in one city to another, work on my resume, do phone calls and emails with my network, etc and sound -smart -lol - and if he was awake/around -I mean forget it.  This is why so many employers require work from home moms to have uninterrupted time/space to do their work -I don't blame them -but then it kind of defeats the purpose if you have to hire a sitter, etc (I was that sitter briefly for a new mom studying for her medical school admission test -I was a teen -it didn't work out well because in the apartment she could hear him fussing and while he was totally safe I mean -she was the mom, right?

Thanks for listening to me ramble.  It's ever changing this so-called work-life-mom-balance.  I love your insights and wisdom and thank you for your compliments -doing my best...

Thank you Batya! You are so kind! 
 

This is the thing! The thing I have never got my head around! How can a mum with young children focus and work at home?! Unless you have a huge house, a garden office, and help like a nanny or sitter, how on earth are you realistically doing that? I think what genuinely happens is, they get naturally distracted, and end up making time on an evening after baby or tots are asleep. And what a long, disjointed, stop start day that must feel to many! 
 

Personally Batya, if I owned a company, no one would be working from home and everyone would be at an office to network, collaborate and let’s be real - to be kept an eye on! 
 

My brother in law is a very sensible, diligent, respectable engineer. Since the pandemic, he has stayed working from home. He even openly jokes he takes an extra half hour at lunch and hangs out the washing during the day. He says he makes up project time on an evening or at the weekend but even for him, I doubt every lost minute is accounted for in the long term. Would his boss like the be privy to that? Probably not! And if he was paying someone else’s wage, neither would he! 
 

Even without kids, I admire anyone who can do it. 
 

When the hubs is not working away, he has never worked from home in the physical house, apart from the previous house, which was… it was huge Batya, and in the court yard we had built an office with floor to ceiling glass windows, a sky light, a corridor for bookcases and a bathroom. He worked in there for 7 years when he was home, along with another person. 
 

Now he rents an office and storage attached in our town. The photographer he employs goes there to shoot in the studio, and if he does get someone as admin staff again, they would be there with him and not at our house. It’s a 5 minute walk from our house but for him, it separates work and play and he can fully engross himself as, like me, he’s so easily distracted! 
 

I think it’s fantastic and so smart how you financially planned in advance your time with your son when he was so little. And I can’t agree enough with the discussing of things so you’re both on the same page! I remember when I had my boy, first time Mum, the hubs had to travel after 3 days to London and be away for 2 nights and 3 days. My son wasn’t feeding well and I was genuinely concerned in a huge way. I remember thinking, I can do this, let him go, be cool. I did; it wasn’t cool. He became badly dehydrated and I ended up having to go into the hospital with him the next day. He was 6 days old and I was breastfeeding him. I remember breaking down in tears to him on the night, my parents had come to support me but they didn’t help in the end, and he said without thinking “I’m coming back” and he jumped in the car and drove 4 hours at 1am until he got back home to me. He’d only really got down there. 
 

He took another two days but then had to finish his trip, and after that everything settled and me and my little babe got into such a peaceful, tender routine, I didn’t even want to share him! Ever!!! He was away a lot during his first year; and hated it. He’s been able to dial back work (his own desire) after the other two came along quickly. We’ve took a financial hit because of it, but you can’t have everything. He’s extremely present in their lives, all weekend, every morning and night he isn’t working, and he even does the school run on a morning for me when he’s home, then heads to the office after that. 
 

I don’t presume it will always be like this Batya and, I realise hard times might come. We both have our parents but his are getting on. I imagine at some point we may take carer roles ourselves. This is quite likely for the future. Hubbies line of work might have to change one day, for example, and we’ll have to re jig and re haul everything we have known for so long. Or; it might get even better 🥹 Who knows. I’m appreciating where I am. Success to me is doing what you love. I’m doing what I love right now - for me, personally, that is my success story. You also had a clear plan of what you wanted and executed it Batya through all life’s pressures! 
 

I have noticed actually a bizarre feeling of guilt sometimes in expressing my pure joy! Some women don’t like it. They want to tear it down. Like the woman who said about the cheating worries. Well, maybe for her, but not for me! And she genuinely couldn’t understand that, thought I was naive. But as you know, if you’ve never experienced a rock steady, pure love dedicated type of long term commitment, maybe it’s obvious why she couldn’t understand and would make those assumptions and judgements. In the end, I didn’t take it to heart and felt sorry for her that she maybe was stuck for the time thinking like that… probably thinking like that about her own partner.

 

The irony I find, living where I do in this coastal retreat of expanding one’s mind(!) is that, these people come at you with moon advice and meditations and chants, and herbs swinging from their cupboards, but they seem… desperately unhappy? Unhinged, some of them seem to me! And you only have to scratch the a surface and it really is a mess. One doesn’t see her children, she abandoned them (didn’t put it like that but she walked away). Another had a big drug phase in her youth and was trying to escape a traumatic childhood and is only getting things together in her 40s but can’t settle with anyone or make a relationship work. Others you find, although touting natural remedy, are taking anti-depressants. After talking to some of the so called gurus, I will say I come home and think… damn girl… you ain’t doing so bad after all, these chicks are CRAZY 😮‍💨🤣

 

x

[Batya33]

So the thing is if I’d had kids and a husband much earlier which is what I wanted then for sure $ would have been more of an issue. 11 years of straight savings and even before my grad school loans weren’t ridiculous.  
I’ve only lived in cities and apartments so my sense is environment does affect what parenthood is like including who you’re surrounded with. 
that sounds so hard to have had your husband away!  I mostly telework. But part time. He was already in second grade when I went back so I did one day of afterschool program and I had backup sitters available. Who I never needed. Plus some schools out camps as well as employer benefit for low cost daycare during a school closure which we used a few times in a pinch.  

Im thankful it was only part time and not really “for” the money which means security of knowing if it just wasn’t feasible I could quit. In my case going back when he was 7 helped me be a better person growth wise and mom. 

[mylolita]

54 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

So the thing is if I’d had kids and a husband much earlier which is what I wanted then for sure $ would have been more of an issue. 11 years of straight savings and even before my grad school loans weren’t ridiculous.  
I’ve only lived in cities and apartments so my sense is environment does affect what parenthood is like including who you’re surrounded with. 
that sounds so hard to have had your husband away!  I mostly telework. But part time. He was already in second grade when I went back so I did one day of afterschool program and I had backup sitters available. Who I never needed. Plus some schools out camps as well as employer benefit for low cost daycare during a school closure which we used a few times in a pinch.  

Im thankful it was only part time and not really “for” the money which means security of knowing if it just wasn’t feasible I could quit. In my case going back when he was 7 helped me be a better person growth wise and mom. 

I think when all my kids are 7 I will sleep for a week Batya and then… decide what to do next 🤣🤣🤣

 

Life doesn’t work out perfectly for anyone but it’s worked out just right for you in the end! We all make mistakes or I should say, have things turn out the way we didn’t envision. We can be very hard on ourselves sometimes I think. 
 

All the relationship threads at the moment have got me thinking about my approach and how staunch and all or nothing and ultra serious it was. I never even thought about how other people were approaching finding love, but now I look back; it was extremely different to the way I went about it! 
 

I will say the bonus for me (there will be cons too of course dear Batya!) is that, shacking up young with my first love, first boyfriend, first kiss - first everything - has maybe meant, without me knowing it; I have retained the intensity of teenage emotion for my husband. I’ve grown up with him. He is a father figure type of leader, a rock - and then a lover, and a best friend, and then my soul mate all in one. If I had been established, round the block so to speak, worldly wise - would I have gone about things or had the marriage I have now? That retains so much passion and playfulness? It’s like, I will forever be 18. When he looks at me. I’m 18 🥹 And he’s 28. Wearing a navy T-shirt and grinning at me with his front tooth chipped off! 
 

x

[Batya33]

Oh it hasn't worked out perfectly instead it's a work in progress lol.  Yes -when the kids are 7/17/27 😉

I mostly was treated with respect and like a lady by the men I dated and was involved with. I feel fortunate for that! 

[mylolita]

On 7/24/2024 at 6:36 PM, Batya33 said:

Oh it hasn't worked out perfectly instead it's a work in progress lol.  Yes -when the kids are 7/17/27 😉

I mostly was treated with respect and like a lady by the men I dated and was involved with. I feel fortunate for that! 

Always lovely to hear that Batya! 
 

You’re a respectable lady!!!! I am not surprised at all. 

x

[mylolita]

I’ve had just, the sweetest day. 
 

D has been away working for what seems like at least a month. It’s been just under a week, but the school break hit the exact time Dad was shooting off and I revelled in it. Slow, lazy mornings laying in with the kids running around. Sitting with a coffee in the garden. Making my way towards the shower at eight instead of six. Bliss! 
 

D came back high from the deal, amped up and full of glory and the spoils of war. We spent one night, one morning. He told me he had to be off out for one day and night then he would be home for two weeks at the least. He asked if I wanted him to take them out for a day trip till about 3pm. The girls jumped up and down gleefully but my son, who is riding the tail end of chicken pox, wasn’t excited. He wanted home with me. D took the girls, they left out our duck egg blue door in a flurry of a packed bag, packed lunch and sun hats and comfort blankets. I said to D, “I know you mean business because of the bum bag.” And he pulled the strap together round his waist making a CLICK. Hahahahahahaha!!

 

The clouds were mostly over cast. The sun would glade through in passing to sprinkle light and then dim back down as soon as it came, casting drifting shadows across the floor. We sketched together at the big table. I threw the double doors open to the yard and let warm air float in. We talked. We cooked. We ate. We cuddled and watched a film. We drank fizzy cans of lemonade. Ate ice-cream on the couch. I smelt in his blonde curls, still holding the clean and slightly medicinal scent of the rosemary shampoo I had swirled around his scalp in the shower this morning. I missed the girls. I demanded, deep inside, to stall time. To hold this moment forever. It carried on. 
 

I played soul music on the sound system the whole time. 
 

He started firing questions at me. He wanted to find out the smallest fruits. We went through the 10 Smallest Fruits list. Then we got into orders of magnitude, because he asked me what was smaller than a millimetre. 

 

“What’s your favourite fruit, Mam?” He was holding a blue felt tip pen casually, letting it flick onto the table, back and forth. 
 

“Ohhhh that’s easy - lychees.”

 

”What are they?!”

 

”Ohhh I had them at a Chinese restaurant once with Dad, I never looked back.”

 

”Mam, you’re funny. Look them up! No wait, draw them! Draw one with a Face! What’s your favourite vegetable?”

 

I paused. Thoughts of my Grandads vast, homely garden drifting up, and my Grandma’s…

 

”…rhubarb.”

 

”What’s your favourite meal?”

 

I laughed. Another date association. I put on a fake, Italian accent, and puffed up my chest! 
 

“Ravioli Formaggio!”

 

I had my own list to ask him. 
 

He’s becoming a real, proper boy, right in front of my eyes. How did it happen? Yesterday I nursed him and felt his tiny warmth. Now he pelts round the house like George in the jungle with strength I always knew lurked there but never fathomed. I’m proud of my boy. And he’s my best friend. He never stops asking questions. 

 

And my girlie says, in her breathy sing song, “Your ma bestie!”
 

The delectable bambino confidently concurs;

 

“YEAH!”

 

 

x

[DarkCh0c0]

Stunning. Beautiful day.

[mylolita]

14 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

Stunning. Beautiful day.

Thank you lovely Choco! 
 

You’ll maybe laugh to hear, I was feeling smug once the girls were brought home, early tea and bath and all peacefully, text book 1950s like into bed with books and asleep by 6:45! 
 

I’m soaking in the tub with a face pack on and I hear what I thought was coughing outside (I had the windows open). Soon enough realise it’s coming from the nursery. My baby girl is sat up, pale and shaking, being sick onto all her blankets! Ohhh baby! Clean up, medicine, water, and then I sat in the rocking chair while she tossed and turned for an hour and a half, before she finally went back to sleep. It was near midnight by then and I’d been looking at her star projections forever!

 

Then about 3am ish, my six year old son appears like a shadowy figure at the side of my bed. 
 

“Mam, I’ve had a big wet through.”

 

He’d wet the bed bless him. Nothing had avoided the hit. Not even his big, high pillow! Everything went in the washing machine while he had a shower in the near dark. I made up the bed again, sip of juice then it was back to sleep.

 

They all giddily were blazing up and down and around the house at 5am - hahahahahaha! 
 

This is why I have a cafetières waiting for me on top of the island every morning Dark ☕️ LOL! 
 

Hope you had a nice evening 🌝 

 

x

[DarkCh0c0]

24 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Soon enough realise it’s coming from the nursery.

Do you have a nursery room in the house?

That's some looong night.

25 minutes ago, mylolita said:

They all giddily were blazing up and down and around the house at 5am - hahahahahaha! 
 

This is why I have a cafetières waiting for me on top of the island every morning Dark ☕️ LOL! 
 

Absolutely. Well deserved!

[mylolita]

24 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

Do you have a nursery room in the house?

That's some looong night.

Absolutely. Well deserved!

Morning Dark! 
 

I suppose I say nursery and it’s just an old fashioned word of saying “the babies room!” 👼 

 

She has the smallest room and bedroom, and is still in a white wooden crib - the same crib all the babies have been in, as started a tradition! 
 

I know you sometimes mention the art we have about from antique fairs and auctions and her room is no different! It actually looks quite faded here but the reds in this oil painting are vibrant! I’ve got lost looking at that little scarlet roofed house at the forefront rocking and nursing her when she was just so diddy and newborn! 
 

It’s not always like that but now and then, even when they’re all sleeping through, you get that. Sometimes you’re in the mood and breeze through it. Other times, not 😆

I have a couple of wicker and cloud shaped shelves on her wall and at the end there, clinging on, is my childhood doll, originally named “Dolly”. I am break moulds, I know 🤣 You can’t see it here but I dropped her in a petrol station when I was about 4. My Mum was filling up her very 80s lookin, metallic gold Toyota saloon and it never came off! I remember there was a little row of shops near my childhood home. I don’t know why but, one day me and my sister were with my Mum at the chemist there and I just went obsessed for this cheap little blue and white dolly. My parents never bought us anything just because. It was mostly special treats or Birthdays. But I cherished her and sang to her and now she’s sitting there up on my little Nee’s shelf! Full circle! Maybe she’ll be in a crib with her daughter, or her daughters daughter? 
 

x

[mylolita]

Just thinking about our little Nee Nee’s room (that’s what her brother and sister call her, pet name) 🥲 and, my son is taking after his father in the “giving flowers unexpectedly to girls” department.

 

A couple of weeks ago, I was glancing around and came across this plastic mini ensemble, put together in a stolen egg cup from the cabinet downstairs. My son had created a little plastic bouquet for her and left it in her room without saying anything 🥲 🌸 🌹 

 

x

 

[DarkCh0c0]

4 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Just thinking about our little Nee Nee’s room (that’s what her brother and sister call her, pet name) 🥲 and, my son is taking after his father in the “giving flowers unexpectedly to girls” department.

 

A couple of weeks ago, I was glancing around and came across this plastic mini ensemble, put together in a stolen egg cup from the cabinet downstairs. My son had created a little plastic bouquet for her and left it in her room without saying anything 🥲 🌸 🌹 

 

x

 

Awww so sweet!

[DarkCh0c0]

13 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Morning Dark! 
 

I suppose I say nursery and it’s just an old fashioned word of saying “the babies room!” 👼 

 

She has the smallest room and bedroom, and is still in a white wooden crib - the same crib all the babies have been in, as started a tradition! 
 

I know you sometimes mention the art we have about from antique fairs and auctions and her room is no different! It actually looks quite faded here but the reds in this oil painting are vibrant! I’ve got lost looking at that little scarlet roofed house at the forefront rocking and nursing her when she was just so diddy and newborn! 
 

It’s not always like that but now and then, even when they’re all sleeping through, you get that. Sometimes you’re in the mood and breeze through it. Other times, not 😆

I have a couple of wicker and cloud shaped shelves on her wall and at the end there, clinging on, is my childhood doll, originally named “Dolly”. I am break moulds, I know 🤣 You can’t see it here but I dropped her in a petrol station when I was about 4. My Mum was filling up her very 80s lookin, metallic gold Toyota saloon and it never came off! I remember there was a little row of shops near my childhood home. I don’t know why but, one day me and my sister were with my Mum at the chemist there and I just went obsessed for this cheap little blue and white dolly. My parents never bought us anything just because. It was mostly special treats or Birthdays. But I cherished her and sang to her and now she’s sitting there up on my little Nee’s shelf! Full circle! Maybe she’ll be in a crib with her daughter, or her daughters daughter? 
 

x

Very cute indeed 🩷

I hope your daughter is feeling better today.

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

Do you have a nursery room in the house?

That's some looong night.

Absolutely. Well deserved!

Yes it sounds just like...... oh right -Motherhood!!! 😉 I hope the baby is feeling much better and you too!!

[mylolita]

Thank you @Batya33 and @DarkCh0c0! 
 

She has a cold today so may be coming down with something! I’m perky despite the lack of sleep! Probably adrenaline but I’m a tinker of a night owl 🦉 anyway! 
 

I can hear all is quiet at’mill this evening so, I might just dare to run that bath 🤣

 

Thanks again ladies! 
 

x

[mylolita]

I can’t stand the news anymore, I simply can’t. 
 

Waking up to a horror story. Young children on their summer break at a dance and yoga event held where mother and babies gather - someone barges in there on a stabbing frenzy, murders two, leaves nine injured of which seven are in critical conditions along with two adults who tried to defend them. 
 

I tell you what. The media doesn’t report this, but the common, normal, good and decent people of England are absolutely enraged. The pot is simmering to the boil. Diversity has NOT been our strength. The government don’t care about our children or their safety. 
 

I would have gone down with the ship that day if I’d been there. There’s no way in hell I would have sat back. 
 

My husband, who grew up in one of the toughest towns in England, always feared knives. Anyone who is street wise knows - charge a gun, run from a knife. 
 

I’m not allowed to use the language I’d want to. But let it be said - the score cards marked, and we’re NOT happy. 
 

Unreported demonstrations everywhere. Working class people absolutely sick of their areas being turned into third world counties where their children are subjected to real violence and horrendous threats. 
 

My Great Grandfather was a sniper and fought in both world wars, his two other brothers died and my Grandfather served during WW2 in the navy. What is allowed to happen now spits on their efforts and valiant deaths for peace, freedom, and overall - safety - and the continuation of British morals, tradition, and our way of life.

 

The state of play is… unbelievable. I wish it were all a bad dream. 

[DarkCh0c0]

1 minute ago, mylolita said:

Waking up to a horror story. Young children on their summer break at a dance and yoga event held where mother and babies gather - someone barges in there on a stabbing frenzy, murders two, leaves nine injured of which seven are in critical conditions along with two adults who tried to defend them. 
 

I tell you what. The media doesn’t report this, but the common, normal, good and decent people of England are absolutely enraged. The pot is simmering to the boil. Diversity has NOT been our strength. The government don’t care about our children or their safety. 

That's horrifying!

2 minutes ago, mylolita said:

Unreported demonstrations everywhere. Working class people absolutely sick of their areas being turned into third world counties where their children are subjected to real violence and horrendous threats. 

I agree with you. But we need to acknowledge that British (and Western) neocolonialism is one of the reasons the third world countries keep migrating towards betted off ones. If only the world currencies, (some) political agendas and raw materials were not controlled by and to the advantage of Western countries, we'd all be living in more peace.

In my country we have a migrant population equivalent to 50% of ours!! 50%! Government won't to anything about it because they follow the western deal and agenda. The NGOs, as per the western political agenda, keep giving plenty of benefits to the migrants which has been encouraging them to multiply at rates higher than ours. My country is becoming not my country 😮‍💨 And I'm with you. I feel you. Likewise for the crimes and culture shift. Ofc, not all migrants are bad. Many hope to have a worthwhile better life. I just wish if they could have it in their countries instead of ours... On our expenses and resources.

And, I worked with a British company. Yet, I was very surprised by how much local talent was lacking. All Brits wants to be paid big bucks, so who do smaller companies with limited budgets end up hiring? Yep.

[Batya33]

Oh I'm so sorry and I believe I heard about this on the news!  What a tragedy.

[mylolita]

13 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

That's horrifying!

I agree with you. But we need to acknowledge that British (and Western) neocolonialism is one of the reasons the third world countries keep migrating towards betted off ones. If only the world currencies, (some) political agendas and raw materials were not controlled by and to the advantage of Western countries, we'd all be living in more peace.

In my country we have a migrant population equivalent to 50% of ours!! 50%! Government won't to anything about it because they follow the western deal and agenda. The NGOs, as per the western political agenda, keep giving plenty of benefits to the migrants which has been encouraging them to multiply at rates higher than ours. My country is becoming not my country 😮‍💨 And I'm with you. I feel you. Likewise for the crimes and culture shift. Ofc, not all migrants are bad. Many hope to have a worthwhile better life. I just wish if they could have it in their countries instead of ours... On our expenses and resources.

And, I worked with a British company. Yet, I was very surprised by how much local talent was lacking. All Brits wants to be paid big bucks, so who do smaller companies with limited budgets end up hiring? Yep.

Hey Dark,

 

I don’t know why anyone needs to be held guilty, accountable or responsible for anything that happened before they were even born? 
 

I wouldn’t turn round to modern German children or the German people and say they were responsible for the World Wars. It happened 100 years ago. I don’t hold any historical atrocities, for which each country holds plenty, trust me - over anyone’s heads and never understood that, not one bit. It has nothing to do with anyone living now. 
 

I won’t be made to feel ashamed for being British. We ended slavery, before any others. We were the first to give women the vote. Ahead for gay rights, gay marriage; animal rights. We’ve always been ahead of the curve regarding historic humanity. We are, in fact; too nice. That’s our problem. That’s the ridiculous irony of being called racist when you complain about third world slaughter ushered into your streets 

 

Certain cultures blend beautifully with ours. Indian, Chinese, Polish. You don’t hear a peep. Others - it’s hell. I’m speaking from experience. 
 

We are a tiny, tiny island. We can’t take 500,000 (under estimated) spilling in and the rest annually. We are at breaking point. We’re so small, as an island, that you can start from the very top and drive to the very end in only 12 hours. And there you have - the whole of England. 
 

It’s simply common sense.

 

We have our own National problems, we don’t need to import more.

 

Times like these, our nation would happily vote for the death penalty. The worst thing we ever did was abolish it.

 

Those poor, poor children, and their mothers, and families. 
 

If anyone is not feeling sheer righteous anger and deep sadness, they have no humanity in my eyes. 
 

We as a nation are absolute *** cats, we’ll welcome anyone fairly. But our silent sense of justice and sticking up for what is right should not be underestimated, and I fear it overspills when pushed and pushed and pushed. 

[mylolita]

10 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Oh I'm so sorry and I believe I heard about this on the news!  What a tragedy.

Thank you Batya.

 

It torn my heart out of my chest.

 

I attend children’s events, baby events all the time. These children were between 7-11. 
 

I almost lost my mind when I opened that news story.

 

x

[DarkCh0c0]

2 hours ago, mylolita said:

Hey Dark,

 

I don’t know why anyone needs to be held guilty, accountable or responsible for anything that happened before they were even born? 
 

I wouldn’t turn round to modern German children or the German people and say they were responsible for the World Wars. It happened 100 years ago. I don’t hold any historical atrocities, for which each country holds plenty, trust me - over anyone’s heads and never understood that, not one bit. It has nothing to do with anyone living now. 
 

I won’t be made to feel ashamed for being British. We ended slavery, before any others. We were the first to give women the vote. Ahead for gay rights, gay marriage; animal rights. We’ve always been ahead of the curve regarding historic humanity. We are, in fact; too nice. That’s our problem. That’s the ridiculous irony of being called racist when you complain about third world slaughter ushered into your streets 

 

Certain cultures blend beautifully with ours. Indian, Chinese, Polish. You don’t hear a peep. Others - it’s hell. I’m speaking from experience. 
 

We are a tiny, tiny island. We can’t take 500,000 (under estimated) spilling in and the rest annually. We are at breaking point. We’re so small, as an island, that you can start from the very top and drive to the very end in only 12 hours. And there you have - the whole of England. 
 

It’s simply common sense.

 

We have our own National problems, we don’t need to import more.

 

Times like these, our nation would happily vote for the death penalty. The worst thing we ever did was abolish it.

 

Those poor, poor children, and their mothers, and families. 
 

If anyone is not feeling sheer righteous anger and deep sadness, they have no humanity in my eyes. 
 

We as a nation are absolute *** cats, we’ll welcome anyone fairly. But our silent sense of justice and sticking up for what is right should not be underestimated, and I fear it overspills when pushed and pushed and pushed. 

Absolutely. I understand.

[DarkCh0c0]

@mylolita How are you feeling? How are the kids? x