Getting back in shape and back in control.

[Soulsearcher26]

So, I decided to start a diary to document my successes and struggles with food and my weight. I'm currently at the highest weight I've been at in an extrmely long time and although it may seem like an OKAY weight to most people, I am very uncomfortable and unsatisfied with it. I'm very petite and small boned, so I look a lot larger than one would think at my current weight. I currently feel so disgusting that I have issues putting on clothes and leaving the house. Everything is tight on me, none of my clothes fit right... and I just feel slightly miserable.

 

I plan to use this journal to document my food/exercise daily as well as my progress. I would like to lose 13 lbs.

 

Today has been a struggle. When I'm feeling fat, it triggers a depression and hopelessness that leads to eating and it becomes a bad cycle.

 

Not much else to say today, so I'll leave it with my stats and write more tomorrow.

 

Current weight- 133

Goal weight- 120

Height- 5'4

[mines]

Good luck! I am also petite and small boned, and I understand how 5 lbs on us is huge, but on taller people, is nothing! You've set goals, that's very powerful, you've posted here, that adds accountability, you can do this.

 

For me, I think of food as maintenance for my awesome running machine I have to run......so I have to feed the machine. So I eat like an athlete should....very clean and no emotional eating. Easier said than done I know....but for me, I eat to fuel my running. So my point is, I have a goal (running, longer & faster!) all food must support that goal, no exceptions.

 

I'm not sure what your passion is....but you have listed a goal weight....so perhaps if you address eating as maintenance......for your structure, for your health, it might help.

 

I wish you the very best! I look forward to seeing you achieve your goal

[redrose85]

What's really worked for me is turning that emotion into physical energy. 9 times out of10, if I work out when I am feeling bad, I don't go for that comfort food. And if I really need something sweet, I break off a piece of a good quality dark choc bar!! You can do it.

[Soulsearcher26]

Thank you both for the comments. You state some really great ideas.

 

Yesterday went well, I think. I know it's not good to weigh in every day, but I weighed in this morning and to my pleasant surprise (and slight shock).. I lost 3 lbs. Down to 130lbs

 

6/5/14 Intake

 

Jogged 2 miles

 

Breakfast: Banana- 120

 

Lunch:

A Starbucks protein box- 300 (Includes 1 egg white, grapes, apple, two tiny wedges of cheese, a small piece of whole wheat bread, and a small packet of all natural preservative free peanut butter. I only ate half of the bread because the bottom of it was soggy...and I didn't eat the apples. It's supposed to be 380 calories, but I subtracted 80 for the things I skipped.)

 

Snack:

1 cup of all natural coleslaw- 150

1/2 a plum- 20

 

Dinner:

2 glasses of Chardonnay- 240

Amy's organic vegetable lasagna tv dinner-310

1 bag of steamed asparagus- 40

 

Screw up:

3 small slices of pizza from my husband's dinner-300 (They were from an organic all natural frozen pizza and the entire pizza had 900 calories. 3 slices was less than half, so I think 300 is a safe bet)

 

Total- 1,480

 

I have to get ready for work, so no time to write much. I wish I hadn't eaten that pizza. My eating yesterday basically would have been perfect had I had a little self control. However, I still managed to somehow lose 3lbs. Probably because comapred to my usual binging over the last few months, 3 tiny slices of pizza were nothing. I will do better today. I'm so glad it's Friday..this week has exhausted me.