One Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I've met this girl in my university , we've know for 3-4 months . We used to go out to watch movies or dining together or sometimes going home and chill because she gave the opportunity to do so...I've told her what I felt for her and I wanted to take the relationship to the next level. ( I felt like I had to tell her because I don't want to regret it later on) . She rejected me by saying I'm a really good friends bla bla bla . One day while we were texting I told her the kind of women I like and she jumped in the conclusion and tell me the same thing which I've simply answered "OK" I've been silent for the past week and she texted me that I ignored her and it's like I'm a stranger and don't know her anymore and she wanted to know how am I doing.I've replied that I'm all good without telling her why I do ignore her now....conversation last couple of hours but basic conversation I acted like nothing happen . The thing is I really like her and I don't know it happen so fast that after those rejection I decided to move on . I know some of you out there may have the same stuff goin on but any advise on how to deal with her will be good coz As everybody I hate loosing plus I may have did something wrong I don't know...I want her so bad that I realize it's a waiste of time because I hate playing head games ...why is she iniatiating contact and act like that? Y'all have a nice day and may god bless y'all ....damn I love this life. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 She doesn't want to be your gf but she wants to be your friend. She's not attracted to you but she likes you as a person. If you can't handle that, you should move on. Link to comment
One Posted May 9, 2014 Author Share Posted May 9, 2014 Hard to be friend with someone you like . I decide to move on , if she contact me ill keep it simple and answer nothing more. But I can't handle chillin with someone I have feeling for....it ain't gonna help me at all ...she told me it will take time at least for her to feel the same thing as me but thanks I better go fish somewhere else !! . Link to comment
rnorth Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Stay friendly, but back off and start dating other women. She'll really feel your absence then. Who knows, you might meet someone you decide you like better? Link to comment
Nihil Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Everyone will be rejected by someone at some point. At least you were brave enough to tell her how you feel. Some people are just not compatible, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with any of you. Unrequited love is awfully painful, but you'll be just fine. Stay friends with her if you can. And last but not least, don't hold any grudges! Don't fall into the mistake of trying to prove her anything. Link to comment
One Posted May 10, 2014 Author Share Posted May 10, 2014 I'm not gonna try anything ... She had her chance ,,, life goes on , what goes around come around ... Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I'm not gonna try anything ... She had her chance ,,, life goes on , what goes around come around ... Don't be resentful and bitter. Take the high road. It's not her fault she's not attracted to you. It's not personal. Learn early how to get rejected properly. It will pay dividends down the road. Link to comment
One Posted May 10, 2014 Author Share Posted May 10, 2014 Should I text her sometimes if she does so , or just be completely silent because we attend the same university and I don't want it to be ankward evendo I moved on? There's nothing personal but I feel like if I do text first she will still think I want to be her BF...which is not the case anymore . Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Should I text her sometimes if she does so , or just be completely silent because we attend the same university and I don't want it to be ankward evendo I moved on? There's nothing personal but I feel like if I do text first she will still think I want to be her BF...which is not the case anymore . If she still wants contact, let her 'lead.' You can respond to her texts. That way she does not think you are 'ignoring' her completely. Try a slow fade to ease her mind. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 If you don't want to be her bf anymore you should focus on moving on. End contact because you are not really friends. Link to comment
One Posted May 11, 2014 Author Share Posted May 11, 2014 Well I'm really open minded as all of you know ignoring will just make things ankward but Ill text her and ask how's she doing and say something like I was just checking up on her nothing more... Why ,,, because she first contact last time plus I want that respect to be between us ...I may not be her BF but I feel like earning "RESPECT" is more important .So that she won't say I just wanted her in my bed evendo Relationship means more than that....what you people think about? Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 Well I'm really open minded as all of you know ignoring will just make things ankward but Ill text her and ask how's she doing and say something like I was just checking up on her nothing more... Why ,,, because she first contact last time plus I want that respect to be between us ...I may not be her BF but I feel like earning "RESPECT" is more important .So that she won't say I just wanted her in my bed evendo Relationship means more than that....what you people think about?re I think you are lying to yourslf and looking for reasons to contact her. Just a guess, but if you are putting this much effort and thinking into this you are not really moving on. If you see her around be courteous. Beyond that there is nothing else you need or should do about this. Link to comment
eskimobobseal Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 yeah this happened to me and I deleted the girl from my phone the second she said she'd rather be friends. You either like me or you don't, end of story. Link to comment
One Posted May 13, 2014 Author Share Posted May 13, 2014 Thank y'all for the advice..by the way I saw her today in my class we talked normal as nothing happened ... Life's short...on the next one. Link to comment
One Posted June 18, 2014 Author Share Posted June 18, 2014 Her birthday was 2 weeks ago , I wished her happy birthday. She seems happy and said she appreciate it.We used to say hi each other when we meet in school but now it's not the case anymore because she try to avoid me...to be honest I moved on and respect her decision but greating Someone is not a sin...she started to act like that when she saw me talking with other girls more and more. I wasn't doing it on purpose.just me moving on with my life.should I solve this by telling her why I back off and we shouldn't be acting like child.now when our common friend ask me about her because they always thought I was her bf I say We just friend .and start thinking about it again. Something telling me do it. Something telling me don't.(ever) Link to comment
ExcitedtoSleep Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Be mature about it. I think you can do this one of two ways: 1. Treat her like you would treat a friend 2. Ignore her That's it. Link to comment
One Posted June 18, 2014 Author Share Posted June 18, 2014 How to treat someone like a friend when they even avoid eye contact? It's so damn childish.i was the one rejected I decided to take time and stop dating her and try to move on by staying friend like she said.now she is the one showing me she's mad.which she shouldn't be actually. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Maybe you should stop trying to be friends. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 How to treat someone like a friend when they even avoid eye contact? It's so damn childish.i was the one rejected I decided to take time and stop dating her and try to move on by staying friend like she said.now she is the one showing me she's mad.which she shouldn't be actually. Your last post said "saw her and like it never happened." Now she is avoiding eye contact? And you decided to stop dating her....dude, you were never dating her. I don't think she is mad. I think she thinks you are still TRYING to date her. Link to comment
One Posted June 18, 2014 Author Share Posted June 18, 2014 Of course I have to act like nothing happened..do you expect me to cry when I see her hahaha. It's just that we still going to attend the same university for 2 more years and I hate when things are awkward . Besides , I stop hanging out with her because I don't want her to think everything I do is because I wanna be with her.not anymore...after everything that happened the least we can do is greeting each other. It's not a crime.we used to say hi but she avoids me big time now.i think she mad because after her decision I changed the way I use to be with her. It's normal I'm not gona waist my time behind her.i think she doesn't understand that part at all. Link to comment
ExcitedtoSleep Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Is this some kind of university where you see the same people every day? I'm a bit confused. I really don't get why this whole situation is so complicated. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Why must you greet each other? You don't want to be her friend....so why keep up the pretences? Link to comment
One Posted June 18, 2014 Author Share Posted June 18, 2014 We almost meet everyday since we have the same classes. But it's summer everyone is gone now But she is staying in the city for summer. It's true it will never be like it used to be before.i just thought after everything that happened the least was to say hi like 2 normal human being.i realize now it's not worth it . It's not about pretences , it's about respect. What would you do if it was you guys???im not forcing her .i just think to avoid the awkwardness for the rest of our study here. Never mind I'll keep on ignoring if that's what she wants. Link to comment
ExcitedtoSleep Posted June 18, 2014 Share Posted June 18, 2014 Practice your fake smile. If she looks at you, use it. Otherwise, don't do anything. Link to comment
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