jonny15 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Of course it depends on what they are looking for. I am speaking in general terms. Not an exact specific case. In general, they have a better chance of getting someone they want. If they want a long term relashionship type, then they have a better chance of getting it since there are so many more people that want to be in one with them. If they want a one night stand, well, that doesn't even need to be explained. They want a short term fling. An f-buddy? Chances increase that they can get what they want. That does not mean they will always get it. But the chances are higher that they will. Sorry, but I can't feel any sympathy for someone who thinks they have it hard because the hoards of people that want them aren't exactly who they want. They are wanted by many, many, people. And just because mr right or miss right isn't knocking on their door, does not mean they have it bad. They have it great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonny15 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 On a more serious note; I have many gorgeous, intelligent female friends. Most of them are single, having had abusive, exploitative relationships - and I wonder if the problem is that they are likely to attract narcissistic guys whose primary attraction is that they will enhance his overall image. Being very attractive does not necessarily mean that you'll attract nice people. Or it could be because they're drawn to guys like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moontiger Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Right... on to more serious matters. I've created another profile. I'm being voted out. In fact, the only votes cast so far are "Absolutely Not". Just don't understand it... here's a screen grab of my profile, so would you mind taking a look at it and see what you think? Hey it could turn around at any moment! Keep your whiskers up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Or it could be because they're drawn to guys like that. No; that's why they're all single! Abusive relationships don't start off like that, and often the abusive behaviour only starts when it would be very, very difficult to leave the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonny15 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 No; that's why they're all single! Abusive relationships don't start off like that, and often the abusive behaviour only starts when it would be very, very difficult to leave the situation. And there are women that seem to have many relashionships like that. It's like they are drawn to men that might do it. Still not finding any sympathy for hot people. They have the pick of the litter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetryandlyrics Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Right... on to more serious matters. I've created another profile. I'm being voted out. In fact, the only votes cast so far are "Absolutely Not". Just don't understand it... here's a screen grab of my profile, so would you mind taking a look at it and see what you think? Rofl. I love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetryandlyrics Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 And there are women that seem to have many relashionships like that. It's like they are drawn to men that might do it. Still not finding any sympathy for hot people. They have the pick of the litter. Really? You're not gonna find sympathy for "hot" people, even if it's from an abusive relationship because doy, it's still accomplished by having a relationship? I find that view troubling. It just shows that there attracted to (tend to, generally) confident, charismatic people. Qualities, traits. It's not because of abuse but because of who they thought they were, of what captured them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiquitia Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Beauty is so very subjective. What is good looking to someone, is unattractive to someone else. After reading the post and following the responses for a couple of days, i decided to upload a picture on the site for kicks. I didn't even fill out the profile. A picture means nothing. I am not photogenic in the least, but with some good lighting, a good angle, and just the right amount of a smile, everyone can look good. I've had someone tell me i don't really look like the picture. Anyhow, the responses are mostly "beautiful" but that means nothing. Other responses aren't so favorable. I do not intend to keep the profile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greta96 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Sorry, but I can't feel any sympathy for someone who thinks they have it hard because the hoards of people that want them aren't exactly who they want. They are wanted by many, many, people. And just because mr right or miss right isn't knocking on their door, does not mean they have it bad. They have it great. No, they don't have it great. Well, correction: if said hot people are looking for quantity, then yes, they do have it easier than the less good looking ones. But if they are looking for quality, then I totally disagree with you. There are so many misconceptions regarding good looking people, it's not even funny. They are treated worse than the average looking ones only because the general mindset is "who cares how I treat them, they have tons of people who would jump through hoops for them, I won't be one of those". And it can get to the point where everybody they meet, be it at work or outside of work, thinks the same, when in reality, nobody jumps through hoops for them and they are in fact lonely and would give anything for a nice word. And yes, it is disheartening to be wanted by many people, but none of them to be the type you'd ever be interested in. It may even be worse than being wanted by say only 3 people, but where 2 out of 3 are interesting to you. Or even 1 out of 3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sportster2005 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Their peer group? Do they just hang around hot people in the hopes that more hotties will join so they can date them? There is no problem with being attractive. Sure, there can be some jealous people. But as long as you don't have a horrible personality, things aren't going to be bad from a social perspective when it comes to being attractive. Nobody has a problem free life. Attractive or not. Being attractive brings with it benefits and unique problems we, well at least I am not going to have to worry about. This isn't about resentment. On the contrary, it's about empathy. Some beautiful women I now are just as frustrated with dating. Just for different reasons. If a man is taller, more handsome, more attractive than me, richer, better educated, I am not in his peer group regardless if he chooses to hang out with me or not. He will be more sought after than I. That's not jealousy. It's a fact. He will have a larger pool of women attracted to him. He will in all likelihood want someone in his peer group. There will be less of those, than there are in the general population of his many admirers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonny15 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Really? You're not gonna find sympathy for "hot" people, even if it's from an abusive relationship because doy, it's still accomplished by having a relationship? I find that view troubling. Those two comments of mine in that post didn't really go together. I just made the statements. The last one wasn't in direct correlation to the abuse statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonny15 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 They are treated worse than the average looking ones only because the general mindset is "who cares how I treat them, they have tons of people who would jump through hoops for them, I won't be one of those". And it can get to the point where everybody they meet, be it at work or outside of work, thinks the same, when in reality, nobody jumps through hoops for them and they are in fact lonely and would give anything for a nice word. Are you serious? Many, many people jump through hoops to treat good looking people great. Men go out of their way to treat good looking women well, while not doing the same for less attractive ones. By no means are good looking women treated badly by men because they are good looking. It's the direct opposite. And women at times do the same thing for good looking men. And yes, it is disheartening to be wanted by many people, but none of them to be the type you'd ever be interested in. It may even be worse than being wanted by say only 3 people, but where 2 out of 3 are interesting to you. Or even 1 out of 3. LOL. Try not being wanted by anyone. Then you'd go running back to all the attention. It's far better to be wanted by many. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonny15 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Nobody has a problem free life. Attractive or not. Being attractive brings with it benefits and unique problems we, well at least I am not going to have to worry about. This isn't about resentment. On the contrary, it's about empathy. Some beautiful women I now are just as frustrated with dating. Just for different reasons. If a man is taller, more handsome, more attractive than me, richer, better educated, I am not in his peer group regardless if he chooses to hang out with me or not. He will be more sought after than I. That's not jealousy. It's a fact. He will have a larger pool of women attracted to him. He will in all likelihood want someone in his peer group. There will be less of those, than there are in the general population of his many admirers. And all of their dating chances increase with their pool of dating. Which in terms helps them find someone they want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moontiger Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 How many people you date has no effect on IF you will find a good partner. Think of it like rolling a dice. If I roll a dice one and get a six, does that effect if I get a six on the next role? No, it doesn't. Some thing applies to to number of people a person dates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosti87 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 And all of their dating chances increase with their pool of dating. Which in terms helps them find someone they want. That is not necessarily true. I have a daughter who is considered 'beautiful' by most people. Volume does not not necessarily equate to quality. She struggles with making choices and weeding out the frogs just like anyone else. As that investment commercial says "It's not how much you make, but how much you keep." Possessing the confidence, the radar controls to filter out the muck and then utilizing strong relationship skills/boundaries are more important in getting that quality person. Sheer volume is just that. I does not guarantee more quality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I used to work on a mental health ward; there were many patients, both male and female, who were exceptionally good-looking. By no stretch of the imagination did they live charmed or privileged lives; good cheekbones are not a guarantee of happiness! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetryandlyrics Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I agree. The volume does not mean there are more chances of finding that right person for a relationship. It simply means more people to sift through, to filter out, and that can get rather tiring and/or troubling, depending on the individual. Update: Now on "okay," nearing "yes" for quite a while. Vastly different than last time, seemingly forever on "no." I find this amusing at how the range can easily change from one day to the next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moontiger Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I agree. The volume does not mean there are more chances of finding that right person for a relationship. It simply means more people to sift through, to filter out, and that can get rather tiring and/or troubling, depending on the individual. Update: Now on "okay," nearing "yes" for quite a while. Vastly different than last time, seemingly forever on "no." I find this amusing at how the range can easily change from one day to the next. Ya, mine kids jumping around. I've been holding steady at "OK" for a while, I was closer to "yes" just a few hours ago and was even at "no" for a short time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonny15 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 That is not necessarily true. I have a daughter who is considered 'beautiful' by most people. Volume does not not necessarily equate to quality. She struggles with making choices and weeding out the frogs just like anyone else. As that investment commercial says "It's not how much you make, but how much you keep." Possessing the confidence, the radar controls to filter out the muck and then utilizing strong relationship skills/boundaries are more important in getting that quality person. Sheer volume is just that. I does not guarantee more quality. Those are the choices she makes. But if she is beautiful, then she has more chances of finding someone she likes than an ugly person does. That's just a fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonny15 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 I used to work on a mental health ward; there were many patients, both male and female, who were exceptionally good-looking. By no stretch of the imagination did they live charmed or privileged lives; good cheekbones are not a guarantee of happiness! Looks and mental health have nothing to do with one another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poetryandlyrics Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Those are the choices she makes. But if she is beautiful, then she has more chances of finding someone she likes than an ugly person does. That's just a fact. That's not fact. That's just your belief. Many other people have presented differing experiences with it that doesn't correlate with the said fact. Look, I know I'm attractive to most people (that's what they tell me anyway), but I don't have an "easy" time finding someone. Actually, most people seek me out for a romp in the bed, and that's not my thing. People tend to think, "Oh, pretty -- they probably have options. I'm just going to see if I can still "have" them in a way (one night stand or whatever) so I count." Also, people are just people. Their beauty doesn't count if they happen to have other stuff going on such as anger issues, depression, etc. People's going to weigh it out and then decide accordingly just as they do for other people, and if you say beautiful people can weight it slightly more towards a yes, I beg to differ. I'm Deaf. People reject me solely because I'm Deaf. I know it well enough. I don't mind because they're not the people I'll want to be around with anyway. I feel you're resenting beautiful people a little too much because you're focusing solely on that, proclaiming worth in it in a negative way. I'd gather maybe that's the issue with you, your perspective towards things, not others' attractiveness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosti87 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Those are the choices she makes. But if she is beautiful, then she has more chances of finding someone she likes than an ugly person does. That's just a fact. You miss my point... but that's okay. It's like people who are doctors who don't have a savings, but a secretary who has a good nest egg because she utilized her investment skills and did not squander her funds. Having more is meaningless if you don't have the skills need to grow your assets. The same applies to other assets like having a higher volume of choices, but not having the skills to recognize quality or filter out muck. There are plenty of plain people in great relationships and there are plenty of good looking people who are not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Looks and mental health have nothing to do with one another. Exactly! Attractiveness and wealth, intelligence, emotional health - and many other things which define the way we are in the world, and how we spend our lives - have nothing to do with each other. From your posts you seem to imagine that being physically attractive will confer all sorts of other, unrelated benefits. It doesn't! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hazyillusions Posted May 10, 2014 Author Share Posted May 10, 2014 That's pretty funny -an authentication process for mostly inauthentic people. I have a feeling their "process" is far from airtight! Since you posted about this it seems to me it was far more important to you than just minor curiosity. It sounds like being asked out daily doesn't help the "not feeling great" feeling that you posted about above, so I would be surprised if being chosen by strangers for a site that's supposed to be about physical features would help. I haven't been feeling great because it's been nearly a year after my BU from ex from last year and I'm not over the guy. So there's frustration with that. That's why I've been feeling down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hazyillusions Posted May 10, 2014 Author Share Posted May 10, 2014 Yeah that's part of why I've been feeling alittle crappy lately. Having options does not = finding a good match. Which is why recently I've been feeling alittle low. Everything else is going well, it's just that now that it's been nearly a year, I still have yet to meet anyone who possesses those good qualities he had. It's hard to find a good guy who has such a good balance. Edit/ I went on the voting section today lol and lots of people posted such random photos-saw a pic of Justin Bieber as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.