I lost my best friend, and I don't know what to do!

[Snow2tears]

I met my best friend in grade 9, and now we are both in grade 12. Ever get those types of relationship where you get so comfortable with one another and it seems almost okay to treat each other like poop? In grade 9 I was really insecure, and shy and I can confidently say that she has helped me grow into a better, confident, and happy person. I know for a fact we cared about each other a lot. We loved each other. I would even go shopping with her, and her mom. Even though we were different ethnicities, people would often say we were basically the same.

 

Everything started going downhill last summer, when I got my first boyfriend. It was my mistake that I invested my time into this one guy. She would get jealous and upset at me because I never had time for her. Even though I tried my best to spend time with them both equally. And through me, she became closer to my EX-boyfriend (haha). A few months later she got her own boyfriend, and you would think things would be different, but now she is doing the exact same thing.

 

Of course, I understood what it feels like to be in both shoes and I accepted it. And just let her be. But now she would get upset again because she felt I wasn't there for her when she and her boyfriend would fight. I guess I was a little bothered by the fact that she would only come talk to me when she remembered that her boyfriend wouldn't always be together.

 

Naturally we made our own new friends, but still chose each other as partners if there was always a chance. For me, this whole time I always considered her my best friend even if we grew very distant. Whenever we talked, it always felt like it was normal. So I always made sure to try and have lunch with her, to walk her to class, and to see her when I can in-between classes.

 

She was always busy of course, and I was too. So how much can one person hold on to another? We both felt the same way. When we were together we felt lonely, and neglected. And the bitterness would grow and eventually one of us would snap. We'd try talking it out but it always ended the same. We would say we loved each other but our actions wouldn't change.

 

Fast forward to today ( sorry for the long post, bear with me please ). I came to confront her about how I felt that we weren't close anymore, and she said "I don't consider us best friends anymore, I've accepted that fact a long time about". And cue the tears (ahh). It took me off surprise and boy, did I feel stupid. Well, like I said, it ended off like how it usually ended off. We said we would keep trying and we did. For awhile, but it clearly seemed like she moved on, and found other friends (one which was my ex).

 

I know, I know. I should just leave it be, let it go, move on, or whatever. It is so wrong to feel upset? I guess it's stupid of me. I always hoped she would've been the one friend that would be there to meet my kids (dramatic I know, but true). That's how much confidence I had in our friendship. I'm not saying I'm a loner now, and to be honest I wouldn't mind.

 

I have other friends that I made, but they all have their own groups and I feel like I'm just a someone who drifts around, friend to friend. But have no one to call my best friend. As selfish, and childish as that sounds. It hurts. No matter how much I let go, and look at the bright side. It hurts.

[mhowe]

Most childhood friends do not survive childhood.

However...there are lessons to be learned here:

 

Friendship doesn't mean you get to take people for granted and treat them like crap.

Getting a bf doesn't mean you put your bf or any friend on the back burner.

 

And the way to make a best friend and keep one...is to be one.