How do you get over a crush?

[seeking_truth86]

There was this beautiful burnet girl I used to sit next to in my biology class last semester whom I had a huge crush on. Every MWF when class started, we always talked and shared laughs. In the middle of the semester, I asked her out, but she rejected me I guess I'm not attractive enough for this person. Nevertheless, we still did talk and had a good time in class. It's been a week since the semester has ended and I just can't stop thinking about this girl. So far, it has helped the time move by and it makes me feel happy every time I think of her, but I DON'T have her. I'm not much of a complaining person, I was searching Google of how to get over a crush until I saw this website, and hopefully some of you can relate or help me figure out how I can stop thinking about her. Also note that she will be moving with her family in Utah (I'm here living in Arizona). I also wished I should have left her my number the last day of class or I should have asked her out again, but I was stupid enough to have not to. I felt as if it was an awkward position to do such an act, but now I have hesitated and it has become an unforgettable regret. I also keep remembering that she did reject me and I'm trying to move on, but I never felt such electrifying chemistry with anyone before. I'm just waiting for the next semester to start and hopefully, I can find a new crush or something. Anyone have some advice they'd like to share?

[ticklebug]

the best thing...is that you know it is just a crush and not "more"...you are at least being realistic about how you feel.

 

"chemistry" is between two people...what you were experiencing for the first time was a strong attraction, and that is bound to happen...more than likely there have been girls who were very attracted to you and you never even noticed becasue there wasn't "chemistry".

 

Attraction, when not reciprocated...does fade over time. It's only been a week...

 

Best thing you can do...is when you find your thoughts wandering in her direction, stop yourself and redirect...get yourself doing something that takes thought so it will lead you in a different direction...school work in a different subject, a good book, tv, sports...etc.

 

the thoughts and feelings will fade.

[Alabama]

The best thing to do, is it to just not think about it. Work on other things, and concentrate on other aspects in life. It will fade, so don't worry about it too much. Good luck!

[seeking_truth86]

Thank you, I'll do my best. Hopefully within two weeks it won't bother me anymore more. Right now, my thoughts are just invaded of her and its still driving me nuts. I meditate from time to time, and it's hard to do so with her in my head. I caught myself Christmas shopping the other day and I could have gone to bestbuy to buy all the necessary items, but I went to this mall I recall her telling me it was her favorite. I guess I went there in hopes to seeing her again. I don't know what to say, it's like something inside me that says, "Never give up" but I just want to get over it because it's reality.

 

I would like to thank all of you again, epically those who have PM me, I really really appreciate your support. Please stay in contact.

[wildcat2006]

I feel your pain, it's definetly not easy getting over a crush especially when you thought they liked you too.

[Shinobie]

Its hte negative way but the way i get over something like that is i tell myself im not good enough.Thats the onyl way i see doing it because i dont have any good thought about the subject.good luck with it mang.

[seeking_truth86]

Could I be depressed? I notice the only time I smile, is when I think about this girl, other then the exception of taking mind altering substances. I was hanging out with my boys the other day, and we throwing jokes left and right, but I didn't even laugh or anyting. The jokes were funny, but no laughter was forced out, I just stood there like a statue. Do you think crying my emotions out would help? I haven't cried for the longest time, since jr.high. Maybe I'm just too lonely and I need to think about women, I really don't have any other girls to think about.

 

I don't know really, I don't think it's the fact that I miss this 'one' girl, maybe I have became too lonely. My sense of humor has been dying down on me lately.

 

I mean, I connect with women alright, but I'm that kind of guy I suppose women like "but not in that way." The only thing I can think of is my phyical state, I just can't find myself attractive anymore when I look in the mirror.

 

I don't know what I'm trying to get from this. I guess I just needed to let it out before I feel worse. I just want to thank some of you again for being supportive before.

[shyguy1987]

Something similar to that happened to me. I had a friend of mine that I got along perfectly with but I didn't like her at first. After a few months I had really fallen for her and I was certain that she liked me too. Well I found out that she did like me but by the time I decided to talk to her about it she told me that she didn't like me anymore. She completely changed the way she acted around me and she broke my heart. For about two months I was very depressed and I vented by writing songs. That kept me busy and helped me realize that it was better that nothing happened between us. I realized that she wasn't (and still isn't) mature enough for a relationship because her feelings constantly change. I was told by her sister that she has had an on/off crush on me for a long time and that she is very indecisive.

 

I really went off topic there

 

Well anyway, the point is, you will find someone better. If she didn't like you it probably isn't cuz of your look. The same thing has happened to me but now I realize that the right girl will come to you in time. Right now I'm finding myself attracted to a girl I've known for quite sometime and I believe she likes me too (not sure though, I made a topic about it on these same boards) and I wasn't even looking for a relationship.

 

In time you will forget about her and see that it was probably for the better. Don't feel so down about it. And if all else fails try putting your feelings on paper; worked wonders for me.

 

Take care man.

[seeking_truth86]

Wow, ahahaha. I think I'm starting to believe that god exists, because he must love to play with my emotions. During the winter break, I went through two oral surgerys and now, I got braces. This is the first week of school and in my lab class thursday, guess who happens to be there. Take a wild guess.

[seeking_truth86]

ok, I need help. I see the same girl every thursdayin my science lab class and we walk together to the parking lot and part from there. We talk to eachother a lot and share laughs. Is there anyway I could stop thinking about this girl? Oh god, Valentines day is coming soon too. I enjoy being around her, yet it feels like my emotions are getting stabbed at the same time.

[SilverManic]

Why don't you write her a valantines card and leave it under the window screen wiper. That way she will never know it's you? I don't know if you really want to just get over her give it 'time' Thats all it takes, a lot of time and a little heart ach on the way. I know it's hard to get over these things but you can do it! I know you can!

Good Luck,

~S.

[seeking_truth86]

Why do I always fall for the most shallow women...?

[Lily04]

I asked this question to one of my friends just yesterday -- i.e. "how do I get over this guy I stilll have a crush on (since like May)" and his response was that attraction is like a light switch: the light fades, but it's not always easy to turn off completely. (Perhaps not the greatest analogy, as it's quite easy to turn off light, but you get the point.) The point is that you shouldn't try to get over her in a few hours, or a day, or even a week. It takes time. My friend said that he was crushing on a girl since grade 12 (he's now in second year of university) and still sometimes thinks about her. He is now crushing on another girl and I think they'll be going out pretty soon, but he said that sometimes the feeling still comes back.

 

The only way, I think, is to start liking someone else. Then you will feel a commitment to another person, and won't think about her so much. Also if you don't see her it helps. The guy I like I hardly ever see him, but when I do randomly run into him, it's sorta...awkward? because I still feel an attraction to him. I feel 'chemistry' definitely, but I'm not sure he does. Does that even make sense? How can one person feel chemistry but not the other? Sometimes attraction seems soo obvious to me, so I don't get why these heartaches happen. But they do. So just chalk it up, and start liking other girls, and soon enough your attraction to her will diminish (although may not become extinct altogether.)

 

The only other option is asking her out again, in which case the whole problem of 'getting over her' is unnecessitated. =)

[Guarana Galrok]

I don't think its possible to get over a crush. You can't change your feelings, but you can change how you react to them. Good luck.

 

-GG

[seeking_truth86]

Geez man, this is still hard. It seems like it keeps getting worse and worse. I constantly think about this girl, think about her before I fall alseep, dream about her a few times, and wake up in the morning thinking about her.

[Guarana Galrok]

I told you. No one listens to Galrok.

[seeking_truth86]

I just received a devastating blow. This is the story in short. This girl is my lab partner and we are cool among eachother, like friends. Then, some guy out of nowhere asked if he could join our group, we couldn't say no because we were too kind, so he is part of our group. Now, not to sound like I'm better, but this other guy is a nerd and looks really weird. But recently, while I'm at work at the mall, I saw him there walking around the mall I work at. He was with someone...a girl. I couldn't make out who he was with, but it seems an awfully like this girl I like. I don't know how I'm going to handle it next week seeing the two of them together. I'm hoping that I was mistaken from what I saw at the mall, but with my luck, it must not have been mistaken. I know we are not ment to be, and she is probably dating a few guys, but actually witnessing it is hurtful. Now I feel lower then ever. I never felt so beaten by someone who looks uglier then me. Now I'm thinking that I am actually the ugliest person and I never felt so unattractive before. I feel as if I've entered a new low in my self-esteam. I just don't understand, I get along with people great, I relate to just about anyone I meet. I used to be religious and hardly ever did anything bad. Why is Karma giving me such a punishment? *sigh*, I just want this semester to end. The only thing I can think of that that she is probably shallow to my braces.