My First Serious Crush, Tired of Hiding my Feelings

[VeryShyGuy]

Will I ever tell her? I don't want one day to look back at this moment and feel that I never acted on my feelings. I am pretty sure she somewhat suspects my feelings for her (well, she isn't blind) but doesn't realise how strong my feelings are. To me, always hiding my feelings, it feels almost dishonest.At this point, I am comfortable merely being friends with her, but always at the back of my mind I will be always asking myself, "is this love?". Whenever I am with her, I don't have these feelings, I see her as another friend. When I am not with her I always think to myself "would this work out"? Will time allow us to grow closer as friends or will time slowly erode this friendship away?

 

To tell her, it could ruin a perfectly good friendship. I want to tell her but I don't want anything to change. Of course, telling her would change her perspective of me. She would at least tell me something along the lines of: "you spend too much time thinking about me". At worst, she would sever this friendship and I would never see and talk to her again.

 

Will I be open and tell her, or will I forever harbor my feelings for her and always silently screaming to myself in my head: "THIS ISN'T LOVE!". I want my feelings to be known, but I only want that because I don't know what to do with my feelings, not knowing what to do or say. At this point, telling her in writing, if she confront me face to face, I still wouldn't know what to say or do. The stronger my feelings grow for her, the more it would hurt if our friendship would end. Sometimes I tell myself "turn back before you are unable to turn back. Turn back before I get heartbroken".

 

She is overseas now on holiday. Plenty of time to contemplate to myself, where is this leading? Is this love? Will she ever feel the same way for me? Will I be stuck forever holding back my feelings?

[striderhiryu81]

Hey man, I feel for you, really. I remember back in high school I had the same type of feelings for this girl and it was killing me to keep it a secret. I would ask her if I could walk home from school with her and we would have little conversations but nothing serious.

 

I would then go home and ask myself "is this love?" and other questions. I wrote her several letters about how I felt but I never gave them to her, it was just a way to get it out. If you do that, keep them in a safe place or destroy them. My sisters liked telling secrets if they found them!

 

Anyways, to make a long story short I decided that Valentine's day was the perfect day to let her know how I felt. I got her a card and some candy and left them in her next class on her desk. She avoided me for the rest of the day and I never walked home with her again. I felt like all of her friends were laughing at me too. We were still friends, but it was pretty awkward after that. I suggest that you don't do what I did and come on really strongly about it.

Just let her know that you enjoy being friends with her, but that you might have a bit of a crush on her. You can even ask her if she feels the same way but she might let you know that on her own after you tell her. Say her that you just wanted to let her know that, but that you are comfortable being just friends. Just letting her know that would put her at ease that you aren't desperate for her love or anything like that. That would scare her away... thats what I did. When Valentine's comes around try something light hearted...like a funny Valentine's day card...nothing too emotional. Thats if you guys are still JUST friends by then

[winkybear]

hey veryshyguy,

 

You said that she already suspects your feelings for her, so wouldnt it be better if u cleared things up . If you're scared that this will affect your friendship with her, wouldnt she already do that before this (since she isnt blind) . You two are friends , and if u confess your feelings for her and she doesnt feel the same as u (touch wood) ,you two are still friends. It may feel awkward for a while, but it will get back to normal..trust me. So dont worry abt losing a friend.

 

Its better than not trying at all.

 

Secondly , telling her in writing? Nah , dont do that, man. Ask her out, confront her...no matter how nervous you are..its still better than writing it down on a piece of paper and slipping it down her door

 

Prepare the words that your gonna say... at least you wont be speechless.. try not to be nervous. Be brave this time. Even if u r , she might think its cute so dont worry . All you have to do is muster up the courage to go up to her.

 

These things may be hard in the beginning, after some experience, you wont be nervous anymore. Learning process

 

By the way you're saying things, its as if u will definitely get heartbroken. If u never try , u wouldnt know. I'll be rooting for u

 

Good luck .

[Double J]

Don't tell her you like her. You should show her you like her instead - that way, it's a win-win situation. She'll either pick up on your behavior (touching, flirting, etc) and respond to it, or she'll notice it but won't think anything of it if she really isn't interested. Verbalizing how you feel puts pressure on the girl - puts her in a spot so to speak, so I think you should avoid such a situation. By not saying anything at all, you refrain from putting yourself in a situation where you feel you've been rejected. And that way you can't possibly hurt the friendship either.

[Alabama]

I would think more about this. Decide if this is really love, and if you should pursue it. Think whether or not that if you have any chance. Does she show any feelings for you? Is there any body language to suggest that? If the answer is yes, then I would approach her with this. It would be better to be direct, rather than writing. It shows more confidence. Try to be subliminal, rather than have a love speech. It's actually more direct, than just telling her. Good luck!