jenbrooks Posted May 1, 2014 Author Share Posted May 1, 2014 Look -somehow you think that two weeks is enough for a more serious commitment. (I don't but you seem to) -so just have a discussion of general goals with him. I'll take this to my therapist tomorrow and discuss why I am pressured to this level. It could be because of my age and culture. If that's the case then I need to work around that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I'll take this to my therapist tomorrow and discuss why I am pressured to this level. It could be because of my age and culture. If that's the case then I need to work around that. I think general goals come up naturally in early date conversations -all sorts of goals - career, travel, family, marriage (or not), etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenbrooks Posted May 4, 2014 Author Share Posted May 4, 2014 Elevator - he doesn't know what he wants. He wants to be with someone but he doesn't know if he will stay here or move away to another state. He also doesn't know if he wants to get married considering he has son social issues. We talked for an hour, and finally decided to give it a week and he told me to let him know, but he is fine the way things are now. It is risky being with someone who doesn't know what he wants. I really like him, and I don't know if I should do the whole thing, lets spend more time and see if he's willing to change his mind or eventually commit to marriage. He said no hard feelings if it doesn't work, I can always find a new guy on okcupid. Hw will take photos of me etc to get a good profile picture. I am unsure, I really want him to change his mind and say that he does want marriage and does want to settle down. I can't really continue a relationship if he doesn't know what he wants. Or am I too impatient? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calichick007 Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Elevator guy is a waste of your time. You're wanting to settle down. He's wanting to hang out and take pics of you for you to use on a dating site to find other men. The two of you could not possibly be less on the same page. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 "If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice" (Rush, 1980s). He is choosing not to decide and choosing the cop-out "I don't know what I want". Sure he does. He is all about knowing what he wants and too good at it in a way -look at all of his obsessions/compulsions. This is someone you knew for a few weeks and luckily you know that he is not a mentally stable person who is not working on becoming more stable. What else do you need to know? If you give this another week -i.e. a 1/3rd of the time you actually knew him - you'll simply be wasting your time and no, I don't think you will learn from it for the next time because most people do not have his level of mental instability. It's not because he "doesn't know what he wants". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest katielou1 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Hey. I like your idea. So I was wondering if it’s ok for me to join this? I've avoided saying my feelings/thoughts, (I did a mini journal on word but I felt stupid). I think speaking,to others, in the same situation, will help me. I feel ready to open up now, I want to get it all out, in a mature, healthy, way, so I can finally heal! Stay strong you lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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