Catherine_3 Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 If whenever you're filling out those tests such as "how do you handle conflict" and "what's your emotional intelligency" and those sorts of personality tests and such. You would answer the questions completely differently if you were talking about your relationship with your partner vs. if you were talking about any other situation. For example, let's say at work, with your friends, etc. you are highly collaborative but with your partner you usually let them get their way. Or you are good at resolving conflicts in any other setting but bad at it when it comes to your partner. I mean, it's extremely polarised to the point where you find it impossible to fill out these tests because your feel like your personality is so split. Is this normal or are you just not in sync with your partner or what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 No...it means you feel you are a valuable player on the work front and know your voice and contributions are worthy. On the home front you relinquish your voice. Most likely because it has been ignored or over ridden that you have learned to avoid conflict by remaining silent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine_3 Posted February 11, 2014 Author Share Posted February 11, 2014 It's just peculiar that it could be so polarised. How can you be two completely different people, consistently? Or is it just my perception of the situation that's biased? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfan Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Maybe it's a sign that you're insecure in romantic situations? But that's just one possibility. You could start by listing the aspects that are present in a romantic relationship that are not present in a work relationship. For example, sex, children, family issues, financial issues. Maybe one of those relationship-unique things is causing you to react differently in a relationship than with work colleagues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pl3asehelp Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Seems like a sign you're in a bad relationship. You know what healthy interaction looks like and you expect it everywhere but in your own relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 It's just peculiar that it could be so polarised. How can you be two completely different people, consistently? Or is it just my perception of the situation that's biased? I think you feel you cannot be your authentic self with your partner so you cloak your competence with subservience... which will eventually manifest itself with resentment and disconnection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moontiger Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Agree with the others. Its a sign your not being yourself either in your relationship or with other people. Either way its not healthy and can be a sign of a bad relationship. I'm not very authoritative but in my last relationship I had to be the one to keep my partner in line. Did he apply to jobs that week? Did he make his appointment with his doctor? etc. It was unnatural for me, lead to resentment, and we eventual broke up. On the flip side, I can by needy in certain ways (I am a freaking cuddle monster) so if someone I was dating was naturally not very physical affectionate, it would lead to resentment and the eventual downfall of the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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