nosoul Posted December 12, 2004 Share Posted December 12, 2004 hey everyone here is a new poem i wrote this morning and i just wanted to see what everyone thought of this.its kinda about me. Alone She's lazy, always tired She loves to be loved and she's not admired She has low selfesteem There's tears running down her face like a stream She acts happy, no one can see her pain She loves the rain Her world may seem nice But she feels as small as grain of rice Her only way out is to dance She does not prance She wish's she could hide away forever She's not very clever She feels so alone She wish's she could take someone else's life just for a loan She has a few friends She use to have tens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
under_the_pressure Posted December 13, 2004 Share Posted December 13, 2004 Nosoul, As I started to read your poem I liked it, the more I read the more I saw that you wanted it to rhyme, limiting what you had to say. Poems don't have to rhyme, they can be in any fashion. Don't limit yourself, this is your chance to say whatever you want, say it, don't hold back. I like this part: Alone She's lazy, always tired She loves to be loved and she's not admired You don't have to rhyme it to make it sound beautiful, or flow better. Don't limit yourself. Keep writing. under* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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