under_the_pressure Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 I haven't wrote anything for awhile and tonight I gave it a shot and this is what I got. It's a variety of poems, feel free to comment. Untitled Naked, back pressed against the cold shower wall, legs pressed against her breasts ..tears streaming down her face she picks up the barret more tears fall, as she tells herself "no" laying the barret back down... she wonders why she stays who cares... nobody understands. -after a few minutes- she quits sulking grabs her mask continues with her day nobody will ever know nobody will ever take a 2nd glance But if you look deep in her eyes you'd see it. I'm Okay "I'm okay" she says her chest tightens swallowing the tears back looking away Inside she's not, she really isn't. There's nobody to tell, nobody to listen... nobody to understand. If they knew she wasn't okay they would be aggitated, another reason to yell. Stop yelling at her. Don't you understand she can't feel it? It doesn't get to her... Look at her, you know she's not okay quit being naive. Look. Look at her. Poem About Nothing Imparticular As I sit here on my bed, I have nothing... else to write Drawing pictures of the paper thinking about Mr. Right Listening to Phil Collins I'm going to write a poem about nothing... imparticular. like the clouds on my cover, how peaceful they look and how unpeaceful it is here. or how I don't like the format this was written in before so I changed it up a little bit. In one year I move a minimum of 8 times, my Mom is dating 3 guys and I'm trying to act like I'm fine. For Christmas I'd like nothing more than a plane ticket at least 500 miles away. This can be a poem. why? I wrote it, and called it a poem. The poem about nothing... imparticular. -------------- Okay, all I'll post for now. Comments are welcome. under* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtastic Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 I like them , good work. I think untitled is the best worded of them, but I'm okay gets the emotion accross the best. Poem about nothing is cool, I like theway its just very stream of conscious. Keep 'em coming mtastic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo10 Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 I really enjoyed the Untitles piece, and it'd make a great song, (if you intend on making it into music) sry I'm a musician I see a lot of stuff as music! Great work, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Mister1 Posted December 10, 2004 Share Posted December 10, 2004 they're all good, although all rather bleak I give them all 5 tomatoes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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