Btbradshaw Posted December 10, 2013 Share Posted December 10, 2013 G'day all, A year ago I found out my wife was cheating on me. I've told her 3 times I was leaving over the past year, because she wasn't changing her behaviour. I got talked into staying and trying to give her another go. 3 months after my last attempt to leave, I've tried everything to try to get that trust and love back, but feel numb about the whole thing. Things are very clear in my mind. I simply do not trust or love her anymore. Am I wrong for wanting to leave? Have I led her on to believe I can love and trust her again. I'll loose everything I worked hard to give us, but don't really care at this point. How long is long enough to say: I've honestly tried everything, I can't pretend anymore, isn't my happiness important? Thanks for any input Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savignon Posted December 10, 2013 Share Posted December 10, 2013 That's the point I was at (several times) under similar circumstances but waited and waited and thought I'd get to some ultimate breaking point. That came when my husband's TWO girlfriends called me together to tell me about themselves (when they found out about each other). I kick myself to this day that I waited for a big fat humiliating slap in the face and that my complete and utter unhappiness, lack of trust and lack of respect/love wasn't enough for me. How could I not have valued myself so basically?? A decision I will always look back on with much sadness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ami7 Posted December 10, 2013 Share Posted December 10, 2013 Did you love her and been happy with her before you found out she cheated on you? How she ended up cheating on you? She was happy with you? Were you really happy together? I don t know, if you want to leave just leave, but don t confuse feeling unhappy with hurt feelings, not loving her with hating her because she slept with somebody else. Cheating on somebody is not the worst thing you could do in a relationship. Neglecting the other, not being there when really needed, breacking the aliance that bond people in marriage, betraying the other I think are much hurtful stuffs. So you just think about clearly how you really feel, try to put aside your hurt feelings and just try to have a more "objective" look at your relationship. After that if your answer is still no, than no it is, I am sure you will have to live with your choice easier after forgiving yourself because you made the right choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toby17 Posted December 10, 2013 Share Posted December 10, 2013 You're wrong for putting up with this so long. Does it not bother you that someone else is putting it to your wife? If it were me, I'd take some annual leave days and move out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendahke Posted December 10, 2013 Share Posted December 10, 2013 G'day all, A year ago I found out my wife was cheating on me. I've told her 3 times I was leaving over the past year, because she wasn't changing her behaviour. I got talked into staying and trying to give her another go. 3 months after my last attempt to leave, I've tried everything to try to get that trust and love back, but feel numb about the whole thing. Things are very clear in my mind. I simply do not trust or love her anymore. Am I wrong for wanting to leave? Have I led her on to believe I can love and trust her again. I'll loose everything I worked hard to give us, but don't really care at this point. How long is long enough to say: I've honestly tried everything, I can't pretend anymore, isn't my happiness important? Thanks for any input If you're at the point where you no longer give a good dash darn, then it's time to go. It's only money--you'll make more and you'll be rid of a reprobate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Btbradshaw Posted December 10, 2013 Author Share Posted December 10, 2013 I did love her and was supportive of her. I tried unsuccessfully for over 4 years to convince her that she had an addiction to Facebook. But could not get thru to her. She did nothing day and night but sit on Facebook. Ultimately I found she had been cheating on me thru Facebook and arranging to meet up with the other bloke thru FB. She promised the earth to make me stay. I'm beyond being hurt by what she's done, I just can't see how I can love or trust her again. I think after a year of trying, it may be time to call it a day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted December 10, 2013 Share Posted December 10, 2013 It IS time to call it a day. Speak with a divorce lawyer asap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liraele Posted December 10, 2013 Share Posted December 10, 2013 You're not wrong - the only thing I would encourage other than what other people have already said is to be honest with her. Not brutal, just honest. Get your ducks in a row, and get on with life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.