i feel so hopeless and life a failure in life

[marlina345]

four months ago my ex boyfriend and i broke up after being together for 4 he ran off with someone else and me and my son moved 3 hours to go live with my brother me and my son had no where else to stay i don't have a job and i enrolled in school but somehow i cant pass my classes i cant focus and not motivated to do my work. my son is 2 years old and in a couple of weeks i'm going to move out back to my hometown and live with my friend because my sister in law is pregnant and need the spare room. i'm so scared because once i move out its gonna be just me and my son trying to make it out alone and i'm so scared that i might not be able to make it my worst fear is to be homeless i feel like such a burden to my family i feel so pathetic and uses less and i feel like everybody looks down on me. I feel like a lot of people are disappointed in me like i am not trying enough and i think they are right because i really don't think i am trying. i feel like i am going no where . I've been so focused on how i'm going to be able to make it out on my own that i don't even think about the break up anymore i've been so stressed that i have lose close to 50 pounds in 4 months. the biggest mistake i made was depending on my sons father to take care of us and not making my own money. Sometime i feel like i deserved like i had it coming like its karma for all the bad i've done for getting pregnant so young for depending on someone else. for all the mistakes that ive done during my relationship. i hate that i am feeling this way because when i fall into depression i fall deep and it so hard for me to get out. i constantly think about taking the easy way out so i wont have to deal with all of this anymore i know. i just really need someone to talk to about all this to i want hope i want to get out of this slump.

[Thorshammer]

I dont know who you surround yourself with, but they should be very sensitive and considerate to what you are going through, you are a mother- thats a job too, and i am sure you did and are still doing your job just fine- so there should be no disappointment or feeling like you are not doing anything.

 

And of course you are going to find school tough right now - you are stressed, its hard to focus when you have these issues holding you down. Take it step by step, find employment, and put your feet back on solid ground.

 

Dont be embarrassed to find help, be it from government assistance to social groups that cater to single moms.

[SooSad33]

Hi Marlena,

 

I can understand your hurt.. confusion, negativity etc. No this isn't easy.

Are YOU able to get on with some 'assistance'? Government assist re: your dependence/living arrangements? We have that here. They assist single mother's with some $$ for housing, food etc and the main bills.

 

Don't belittle yourself okay... you're trying. I can see that. As for your schooling, i feel right now is not a good time to aim at that. How about you take some time to work on you & your child who needs mom.

Obviously you can't 'focus' with so much drama in your life right now. School takes a lot out of you.

 

I suggest you go talk to your dr about thes issues going on right now, in your life. Seek some counselling re: depression, anxiety etc. They can give you something for a while to help you 'calm down', gain wieight back etc.

I am taking Cipralex for anxiety and Elavil for Depression.

Counselling may also be a good option.. once you get moved. Remember you must do your best for yourself and your child.

Those are the two #1's.

 

One day at a time... talk to a dr, seek counselling, get moved BUT do look into some assistance with your life, okay.

 

take care