Scottrn Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 None taken. I'll be working New years so I'll be here on new years eve~first one alone in very long time. Yeah, it is depressing huh.... but not really alone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGuy Posted December 24, 2004 Author Share Posted December 24, 2004 Can\t call your boys and go out for your Bday? That could be nice being with the guys...doing guys stuff. I think that there is nothing really depressing being here, infact we're all doing something...a little to better our emotions, our lives. Hey how did your date go? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 Can\t call your boys and go out for your Bday? That could be nice being with the guys...doing guys stuff. I think that there is nothing really depressing being here, infact we're all doing something...a little to better our emotions, our lives. Hey how did your date go? My boys? I have very few male friends, and none of them are very close. There is a long story behind this. There is one guy that I am going snowboarding with that weekend, but I don't think that it will be on New Year's Eve. All of my best friends are women No wonder I'm messed up I wish I could share your positive attitude, rather that just admiring you for it! The plain truth is, I came to this site because I was unhappy about aspects of my life. I have made some great friends here, there are a lot of people here that really inspire me, yourself included. I will probably always come back and check in to see how everyone is doing, regardless of what is going on with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGuy Posted December 24, 2004 Author Share Posted December 24, 2004 I am going to treat myself some more !!!!! I think i m gonna schedule up a Facial-Pedicure_Manicure session this afternoon in Mahattan. That you'll be fun!! Hey everyone this is a great time to really indulge in things we always wanted to provide for our body and mind. So that when / If our loved one come back...it won't affect us at all....our body and soul would have been treated and fed the right way!! So feed your entire Entity and let the light shine. If your' sad ...its ok...allow you to feel it for a second but make sure you treat you good for a long time!!! ehehehehe..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 I'm Eeyore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottrn Posted December 24, 2004 Share Posted December 24, 2004 Good advice GG! I'm learning guitar, went and got some skin stuff at one of those mall kiosks, exfoliation!! HAHA! Really! Upgraded my exercise equiptment, added weights and a new bench......getting ready for the beach in 2005! You're really great gg, keep it up, and didn't mean to usurp your position on that other thread!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGuy Posted December 25, 2004 Author Share Posted December 25, 2004 Not too bad yourself Nice I just picked up a new Electribe emx1 for my small home studio setup!!! I am playing with it tomorrow. At least I know Santa did not dissappoint this year...ehehehe To all of you (in the words of Eddie Murphy in Trading places) ... ....Merry New Year!!!! hahahahah!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGuy Posted December 27, 2004 Author Share Posted December 27, 2004 Hello everyone, I just remembered that Ti's parents are from India and still have relatives there....I wish I could call her to say that they're all in our prayers, but then again I would hate to come out as if this was an opportunity to contact her. It is really not! I only want to express my deepest sympathy! Hmmmm..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Posted December 27, 2004 Share Posted December 27, 2004 Can you call her parents directly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGuy Posted December 27, 2004 Author Share Posted December 27, 2004 Can you call her parents directly? Only her brother and sister know me. Her dad has a problem with people who look like me.....and most important I only wanted to drop by and say a few words if they lost anyone. I am not sure that is even the case... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGuy Posted December 29, 2004 Author Share Posted December 29, 2004 Hi everyone, You all know that I have been making some amazing (slow) progres in my healing, but I am not sure what to look for when I see her again very soon. I just get the feeling that she'll be around pretty soon. ANy idea as to what to expect, the emotions I will be dealing with before and after I see her....please share your own experiences if you must. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panchala23 Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 man i just saw my ex today. emotions? a whole bunch of them. If I could give you any advice it would be to be ready for anything. DOn't expect to be miserable because you will have fun and she probably will too, which will make you miserable at the end. Just MAKE SURE you are the one to say goodbye first (i am guessing you are the breakee). I cannot stress the importance of this enough. I tried acting confident and outgoing the whole time, and I think I did a fairly good job, but nothing worked as well as when I was the one to say I have to go. Make plans with someone else at a specific time that way you are forced to leave early. It was a lot of fun and a lot of laughs, but at the end of the day you are the only one left to lick your wounds. The whole world is willing to share the laughs with you, but when it comes time for tears you will find yourself alone. Even the person that you thought would always be there isnt, and is the cause of your agony. Once you realize that you are the only one that can help yourself I think you will realize how special and strong you are, at least I did. You dont need to carry all the emotional baggage bro, drop it all off and love everything you have. You don't need her, you just prefer her, don't forget that. And make sure she knows you know that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Wow, so well said. You have a deep understanding of yourself and your emotions for someone who is only 20. Somehow I think that these words will strike a chord with GreatGuy! It sounds like something he might say himself As you know, I could not see my ex. Could not take that chance GreatGuy!, if anyone is prepared to face their ex, I think it is you. I know that you have had some low points lately, but you are the strongest person I know here. I would not seek her out yet if I were you, but if your paths cross, you're ready 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panchala23 Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Thanks mentor. I think being in love and dealing with all of these emotions forces you to figure out who you are, or at least who I am right now, pretty quickly. Like I said, I am the only one that I can really truly count on to be there for myself. Man, reading over that I realize how things have changed. Almost a quarter of my life was with this girl, so naturally I thought she would always be there for me and all of that. But you realize pretty quick that if someone can go from such a deep emotional level to a level that feels almost insignificant that you really cant trust anybody but yourself. I have found out so much about myself in the last month or so. I realized that the only person who should be able to control my happiness is myself, and the ultimate relationship is one that has both people operating under that premise, because then there is no reliance on each other to make the other happy.....dependency I think leads to the demise of almost all relationships. Do I want my ex back, absolutely. Do I think I will be very happy with her, yes. But, do I honestly think that somehow we are predestined for each other or something, not at all. You just gotta love yourself. That is a pretty attractive thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGuy Posted December 29, 2004 Author Share Posted December 29, 2004 Thank you Mentor and panchala23, indeed your words means a lot to me. I have been doing very well, with occasional butterflies when I think about her...at first I thought I was not going to be that strong not calling her...then I have been able to do that, and when she did i am letting at least weeks go by before I can even dial her number. So far I have been strong resisting that urge among many . THen the next wave hit me after a while has passed since I laid eyes on her after she ran off, and I just didn't know that the idea of her not being really around sunk in. That was a bit hard because I was reminded of a lot(Apt, Teacher, Colleague, her best friend, people in our class, and recently the tsunami.) It is just funny that I am sticking to my new agreement that I am being true to this new person inside me who deserve alot of attention, alot of cares and Love for the sake of Love itself from myself! And the repetitive discipline not to call her once that idea gets into my mind has only made me feel that what I am doing is for me right now...Should anyone want a part of my life they'd only be adding the cherry on top of the cake. I may not be whole yet (as I still continue to miss the idea of her, few states of confusions), but most of the time I am aware of what this has meant to me, and the opportuniy that I have been given. I will not forget this! I think that I am too gonna be ok...adversity isn't new to me, and in a sense I will be seing her in a totally diff. light, like the first time we met. i trust myself only to be true to that idea of me I love so much. And i guess I have to stick to my Agreements now... Time to follow my own advice and ....keep my chin up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottrn Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Should anyone want a part of my life they'd only be adding the cherry on top of the cake Thats the Great Guy! Just don't beat yourself up for the waves of emotions that hit you when you see her. I passed my ex on the road, both in cars going opposite directions the other day, and I got one of those waves. In 5 seconds I felt a numbness, lump in my throat and I think our whole relationship flashed through my mind. Only the good stuff, of course! I got home and felt bad, only to sign on here and realize that it doesn't mean I'm starting all over, just was an unexpected 'sighting' which brings it all back, but only for as long as you let it. I read some posts by GG and reminded myself of what I quoted from you above. Feel it, then move along. Best to you bro!! 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGuy Posted January 1, 2005 Author Share Posted January 1, 2005 To everyone, I want to wish you (because you deserve it after all the pain that has hit us all) A HAPPY NEW YEAR, AND MAY WE BEGIN OUR LIVES ON A WONDERFULL NOTE. LET US STAY POSITIVE...AND GO PEOPLE, GO!!!! =D> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HajiMaji Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 Hey double g, i just want to let you know that i am encouraged by you. Im going through some stuff youve talked about. Its hard dude but your energy and presense helps out a little Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGuy Posted January 1, 2005 Author Share Posted January 1, 2005 Hey double g, i just want to let you know that i am encouraged by you. Im going through some stuff youve talked about. Its hard dude but your energy and presense helps out a little I will continue to be a star, a beacon of light, a shining warrior for as long as I can for that is what I am! I have complete faith that we'll all smile back soon and realize that this was a test set up in our Honor!! Hang in there man, and I cannot take any credit for what I am and what I do, and believe. I am an entity that travels and experiences life in all its facettes....just like many of you. We're not meant to live and stay in pain forever. So although I am certain "down days are ahead of me", I will not forget that all this is happening for a great reason, a reason we may not see or understand at this moment, trust me! I am saying these words and as I am writting them they're helping me more than you could all understand. Again Lets GO!!!!! People!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGuy Posted January 2, 2005 Author Share Posted January 2, 2005 Updates people, Updates!!! She called this evening I did very very very well!!!! Yeah!! She said she misses me and it was really nice speaking with me(adding quietly I miss you). I sort of blew that aside and was attempting to get off the phone when she started asking what I was doing tomorrow....and maybe she would take my morning class ...and maybe we can have lunch.... I am like ....I then told her that I was wondering which class she could tell me she;d be taking so that I can work around it so she can be comfortable. She then started asking me why I was avoiding her...and that she took time off and now she is ok, in a place where we can do that now. Her phone rang, she put me on hold, then she came back and my phone rang...then I put her on hold. I said of course i was not avoiding her...only that I am making decisions that really work well for me first and everyone second...(kinda selfish Me huh?)...and then I told her I had to get ready to go out see one of my artist who is performing tonight at Roxy...and that she could call. She said she would call and we can make plan so she can see me.... I was like ok, I gotta go now....gigling of course and she just kept dragging it...I finally hung up. Wow!! I raelly was not expecting a call from her seriously and I had to like excuse myself first before getting my head together. I think I handled it really well and did it with your help. I am not sure what to expect when I see her now...but if anyone is inspired by my actions than it was all worth it!! SO I will keep updating here....Happy New Year folks....and btw Ticklebug is the best!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGuy Posted January 2, 2005 Author Share Posted January 2, 2005 More updates: Hey guess what, while i was at Roxy (my artits did her thing!!!) she just called and left a message and also she emailed asking me if we could go see Cassandra Wilson perform at BLue Note tomoroow night. She is buying tickets online ..... I am just so surprised about all of this!!! ...don't worry now we play by my rules!! I am not a player and I am being true to what my therapist has been saying to me ...create boundaries so that the real you can shine!! 8), And don't worry what others may think about you!!! So that's that for now...in term of updates. Please give opinions , I will listen!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 She called this evening I did very very very well!!!! Good for you! I knew you had it in you! She then started asking me why I was avoiding her...and that she took time off and now she is ok, in a place where we can do that now. What exactly do you (she) mean by "that"?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 Do you have any idea what her intentions are? Is this a "just friends" thing, or do you think that she is now in a place where she can go forward with a romantic relationship with you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGuy Posted January 2, 2005 Author Share Posted January 2, 2005 Do you have any idea what her intentions are? Is this a "just friends" thing, or do you think that she is now in a place where she can go forward with a romantic relationship with you? I here that question....but the answer really doesn't matter to me. I am not ready for anything solide with her or anyone else at this moment. I have some work ahead of me...maybe in another 2 months I might be ready to date her if she indeed wants that. So far I think she just misses me and just wants to hang out(hence she already bought tickets for tonight to a concert! And then she wanted to attend my class. Here is the question: I think it would be ok to go to the show tonight....but how can I tell her that I would prefer that she did not attend (just this time!) tomorrow's class without her being upset?? ANy diplomatic ways I could do this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Posted January 2, 2005 Share Posted January 2, 2005 That's a tough one. Why don't you see how it goes tonight before you decide about the class? I'm curious. If she does want to get back together, why do you feel that you need more time? When she left, she was open about why she was doing it, and I am pretty sure that you were in support of her decision, even though it hurt. If she is ready to be with you now, why resisit? If a relationship falls apart because your ex does something flaky ("I'm confused", etc.), or because you both had issues (communication, etc.), I could understand needing time for yourself. You would have to decide if you want the flaky ex back in case #1, or you would have to have time to work on your own issues in case #2. Your situation seems a little different. Are you making this decision to protect yourself, to make sure that she is really ready? Did you really discover something specific inside you that you need to address before you get into another relationship? If so, what is it, what are you doing about it, and how long do you give yourself? These reasons are all fine. One bad reason would be to get back at her for leaving you the first time. That was a very painful experience for you as I look back and read your first posts. Make sure that there is none of this motivation deep down inside of you. I am sure there is not, but I still think it is worth being said, if only for other people reading this. Remember: "and if you two are meant to be, when she gets throught the entire process of healing from the pain she endured, you may have a chance...but right now...she needs to live life on her terms...probably for the very first time in a very long time....and you need to let her." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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