missmarple Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 The thing is I'm not sure he's not interested in another date. If I were, I'd have stopped replying to him. We've talked once since he left and he was shocked that I would think he's not interested..and then he tells me he's sick..which could be a lie but could also be true. Of course, the fact that I enjoyed the date weighs heavily, too,...I rarely enjoy dates this much...and, also, the fact that there's noone else around at this point. I think that my decision (to give things one more week) is reasonable, under the circumstances. It doesn't mean that if I get the chance to go out with someone else, someone in my town, I'll say no because of Pedro. I just don't want to give up on someone I like so soon...and when he himself insists that he wants to see me again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 I think you have to assume that if he was sufficiently interested in another date he would be planning one with you in advance (even if he is sick -he'd simply tell you that it should be next weekend on the condition that he's better). No reason to give up as long as you're not investing real time in this - that you're still actively looking to date others, that you're not spending a lot of time chatting with him, that you don't feel like you're "waiting" for him to ask you out. Right now he is a nonentity (at least that should be your mindset) -someone who you had fun meeting and who told you he'd like to see you again but has not asked you out yet. If you're looking to go on dates with men then he is a nonentity. If you're looking to flirt over email and phone then right now he's your guy. Obviously that could change. I wouldn't imagine that a man who was really into a woman and knew she was on an online site would risk not making a date with her even in advance so that she was clear on his interest in dating her. Everyone knows -especially at this age- that things can change overnight. I've seen it happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 Today I was feeling lousy at school. Shiverring, nose running, the works. Mike called me and we talked about the Mexican restaurant we'll be going to tomorrow. However, when I came home and put the thermometer it showed 39 C (that's 102.2 F). One of my friends says Pedro gave me his germs...lol..but I don't think a couple of close mouthed kisses a week ago could spread germs around Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 Just got an email by Pedro..that he's a bit better, that yesterday he felt awful, both physically and psychologically, that he didn't go to work today, that the day there is very cold and he's been in bed all morning and asked how I'm doing. I told him I feel awful and I have a high fever etc and he replied immediately saying someone must have cursed us both..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 I am so sorry you're sick! I hope you feel better very soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 I'm already better...the fever dropped to 100 F very fast..so, thank God, it mustn't be flu or something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 I'm already better...the fever dropped to 100 F very fast..so, thank God, it mustn't be flu or something like that. Yes, I've been self-monitoring too -cold but no flu symptoms yet. My child was running 104 F last week and sore throat -none of us got what he had. You are on the mend! (are you sure your thermometer is accurate or had you just eaten/been active before you took it the first time?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 (are you sure your thermometer is accurate or had you just eaten/been active before you took it the first time?) I had just come home from school..and I have to be active there. Now I've slept for an hour and feel much better. I found one more email by Pedro but it's just general chit chat and doesn't require an answer...so I didn't answer it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 I found one more email by Pedro, asking if I'm feeling any better. He also sent me a pic of his neighbourhood. I replied that I am so and so, that my throat hurts and that I'll be going to bed early and he wrote back giving me a recipe (lol) for sore throat and advised me to take a warm shower in the morning. He is sweet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 I woke up today feeling much better. My temperature is normal and I took a warm shower and feel as good as new Didn't go to work, though...it feels weird to be at home on a Friday morning! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Glad you are feeling better MM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Well, well, well...Pedro emailed this morning asking about my health. I answered that I'm feeling much better and I may even go out tonight to a Mexican restaurant and I'm excited as I've never been to one. He asked where it is and what its name is (odd), told me some things I could order that aren't too spicy and he closed the email with: I can't wait to see you again and give you many many kisses..message me when you're back tonight to let me know how the restaurant was. It's the first time he says something like that since he left and I'm not sure how to respond...I'm thinking of asking so, when will you see me again? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I would write back - sounds good and look forward to hearing from you as to when you're coming to town again. it is odd that he asked. Are you sure he lives where he says he does? Any chance he's going to tell his friend who lives near you where you are going tonight? Maybe keep that stuff private until you meet him a few more times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Too late...I already told him where we're going but I don't see what harm it can do. By the way, that restaurant is nowhere near my house..it's about 45 minutes away. Maybe he just wanted to google it to feel closer to me (says my romantic self..haha). I added that I'd also like to see him again (didn't mention kissing and stuff ) and the rest I copied/pasted from your post..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 I'm time-zone inept- have you went for Mexican yet? That's my favourite genre of food. Mmmm fish tacos, cilantro, cumin. Makes me happy. It shouldn't be too far out of your comfort zone- it's pretty much like Indian food but without curry... There's a restaurant here that combined Mexican with Indian...they make Nacos...naan bread tacos. Almost better than sex. I mean...chickpea in tacos? I'm in!!! Sorry /end food rant Has Pedro responded and set up a date? He's very confusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 I'm time-zone inept- have you went for Mexican yet? LOL that made me laugh. No, but I'll be leaving soon. Has Pedro responded and set up a date? He's very confusing Tell me about it! No, he hasn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 Just had a surprising phonecall. I think I had called this guy Gabriel..45, a doctor, good-looking, divorced, no kids and lives close to me. It's the guy whose wife had been trying for ages to get pregnant and eventually the marriage ended when he cheated on her (I'm sure some of you remember the story). We had spoken on the phone once, he'd said he'd call me to arrange a meeting but he never did. Well, he called and said he'd been sick with pneumonia and asked if I'm still single. I said I am and we talked for a few minutes. He's going away for the weekend but he said can we meet when he's back. I said sure, we can have a cup of coffee, he said I'm sure we'll have many cups of coffee together and that he can't believe I'm still single being so pretty and stuff. Compliments make me uncomfortable so I just laughed. Anyway, we'll see if anything will come out of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Ok, last night I realised that I DON'T like Mexican cuisine...it was too heavy for me. I had taquitos (from corn flour and filled with cheese and pork), enchiladas (tortillas with ground beef and covered in cheese and red sauce) and fried ice cream for dessert (cream with a crust of caramel and chocolate syrup). I didn't like any of those things much...plus all dishes had rice and I'm not a fan..at all. Also, it was quite expensive...75 euros for 3 people (84 USD) that I thought was too much especially because we didn't drink anything and the other 2 people (Mike and the girl) only had 1 dish each and we also got a salad. Apart from the food, I had a great time. Mike was the gentleman he always is and the girl was very nice, too. When he went to the bathroom at some point she asked me if I like him and she said she thinks we'd be great together..which she repeated when he was back. That made me feel very uncomfortable..she's one of those people who mean well but don't think how the others will feel. Mike also seemed to be uncomfortable and he started telling us that after his marriage ended, he finds it very difficult to flirt because he's afraid of rejection..I don't know if that comment was meant for me or it was just a general comment but, as long as he doesn't make a move, I'm happy hanging out with him.. we are very compatible as friends and there was not a dull moment last night, just like every time I've met him. When the night was about to end (I returned home at 2 am ), he asked me about Pedro and if I'd heard from him and that turned into a big discussion (mostly by the girl who asked who was Pedro, etc). I told him the truth and he said it looks good. She, on the other hand, said that I should look for someone closer (I think she's determined to fix me up with Mike..lol). Anyway, Mike drove us both home (he's a great driver, very reliable) and when they left me at my house, as I got out of the car, he called out 'let me know how things with Pedro will turn out'...not sure if he was being sarcastic, friendly or what. On to the bad news now. I woke up this morning feeling my head heavy, I put the thermometer and, again, I had fever..38 C (100.4 F)...even though last night, before I went out, my temp was normal. So, I'm staying in tonight and wait for the fever to drop completely before I go out again. Also, I emailed Pedro this morning and told him about the restaurant and what the food was like, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Does anyone have a friend who finds every guy you go out with 'suspicious'? This friend of mine is 54 (I had started a thread about her in the friends section, she's the one who hides 10 years from her age and always goes for younger guys) and it's like she finds something bad in everyone. She called me to ask how last night was..and then she started 'pfffffft..4 kids and his wife left him...something must be wrong with him' or 'I bet he sleeps with that girl' or 'be careful, maybe they're looking for a 3some' (God knows what made her think that!). Then she asked about Pedro (she knows the story, of course) 'oh, you're still talking to him..WHY!' and 'pffft men you meet at dating sites...they're not normal'. Apparently, she went to some party last night and met some guy and gave him her phone number and 'this is the NORMAL way to meet people, not through the net'....I guess the fact that she hasn't had a relationship in 8 years means nothing! Anyway, with the fever and everything, I wasn't in the mood for her b/s so I told her I'm going to bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Mike called to ask how I'm doing and we talked for about 15 minutes. He's such a nice guy, too bad I'm not attracted to him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 So, if you think about it, I bet your friend is like that about everything in her life - where she gets her hair cut, her dentist, her boss, etc. I'm glad you cut her off. Sorry you didn't like what you ordered- there are other, lighter, options in Mexican food (for example, salsa is typically fat free and you can have that with some kind of lower fat chip, or cracker or in a flour tortilla - I agree some dishes are heavy but that's because of the extra cheese, etc. I don't eat Mexican often but I eat avocado almost every day which is part of guacomole of course. I hope you are feeling better and I know it would work great if you were attracted to Mike. I would give it a little more of a chance to see if something sparks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I can be that way if I let myself. I don't say it out loud because it comes off as negative overall. I catch myself being on the look out for what I don't like about men. It's a protective mechanism and I suspect that's what your friend is doing. Because I am aware that I have that running dialog in my head I catch myself and try to focus on what I do like. Sounds like if she finds something wrong with each one she won't have to take a risk, stay safe and alone. Probably not her intention . .maybe point it out to her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 She sounds lovely, I can't imagine why she's been single for 8 years Sometimes you have to limit exposure to people like that...I can't imagine living in such a fearful and negative state of mind. Mexican can be really heavy. I can usually only eat half my meal...I take rest home for the next day. I find that opting out of cheesy options keeps it lighter- fish tacos are great, and if you can get a salad, that's often pretty good. Eta: I don't eat meat very often (even fish is pretty rare), I usually eat Mexican food loaded with beans...and that's a different kind of filling than meat...if that makes sense? Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 I can be that way if I let myself. I don't say it out loud because it comes off as negative overall. I catch myself being on the look out for what I don't like about men. It's a protective mechanism and I suspect that's what your friend is doing. Because I am aware that I have that running dialog in my head I catch myself and try to focus on what I do like. Sounds like if she finds something wrong with each one she won't have to take a risk, stay safe and alone. Probably not her intention . .maybe point it out to her? The thing is she doesn't do that with men in HER life! She's been involved (as in not a relationship, more like a FWB situation) with a married guy with 2 young kids for 4 years...10 yrs younger than her, sees her once a month or even less often and considers him a great human being..and whenever I try to tell her the guy is a jerk for cheating on his wife, she defends him to death! She's also been talking online with a 27yo guy who lives like 10 hrs away and he's already asked her for money to come visit her..that one, according to her is also 'so nice!'. So, yeah, I have pointed out to her that, at least, the guys I date (and, in my case, it is just dating!) are not married/don't try to take advantage of me but it's like she doesn't listen...I don't know how someone can be a nice person in all other areas (she's generous, has a good sense of humour, will help me out if I need help in anything, etc) but when it comes to men, I don't know what happens to her Anyway, Pedro still hasn't replied to my email from 8 hrs ago which is highly unusual for him as emails go straight to his phone so it's not like he hasn't read it. I hope he's just ignoring me (lol) and not being sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I have a friend like yours. I suggests her own level of availability. Not surprise she runs off availability men and finds a married one safe or better suited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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