missmarple Posted January 14, 2015 Author Share Posted January 14, 2015 Last night I was out with a friend when I decided to text Oscar that on Friday my friend and I will be busy (coincidentally my friend also has some obligation that evening) and that we could meet on Saturday if it's ok with his friend and him. I texted hm at 7.30pm. 11 pm and no reply. That's when it hit me. 1. He always calls morning hours from the bank. 2. His cell is always off in the afternoons when he's at home. Every time I've texted/called him, he always replies the next morning from work. 3. He's never texted me..says he doesn't know how to. 4. He's never emailed me...says he has no email address but his friend has. 5. He had no pic on the site but his friend sent both their pictures to my email, so, he does have a pic on some computer. The guy is either married or living with a g/f. I can't believe I hadn't connected the dots before but I wasn't that interested and didn't pay much attention. When I realised, I texted him again that something is not right and I'd rather he didn't contact me again. No reply yet...of course, since he turns his cell off when he's at home with the wife or gf..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 3. He's never texted me..says he doesn't know how to. Dealbreaker! He's obviously stupid. (or married). no good either way. pfft. his "friend" has an email, but he doesn't. This guy needs to enter the 21st century. It's a bad lie anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 You're right! Also, his "friend" couldn't make it last time and it was going to be just him. I'm suspecting this "friend" doesn't even exist and its just his second email (which his wife/gf doesn't have access to). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 14, 2015 Author Share Posted January 14, 2015 You're right! Also, his "friend" couldn't make it last time and it was going to be just him. I'm suspecting this "friend" doesn't even exist and its just his second email (which his wife/gf doesn't have access to). The friend (or some friend) exists...I talked to them both on the phone the other day. However, he could also be married, for all I know and, anyway, I won't find out. Obviously I was right as there was no reply at all from him today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Absolutely right about Oscar - glad you found out early on. No need to think you should have realized earlier - he's a jerk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 You know, I was going to mention something earlier about how strange it was that he can manage to finagle online dating, but had to have a friend email you a picture from his friend's email... I thought that seemed very odd. I thought it was rude to point it out, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larkin Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 The friend (or some friend) exists...I talked to them both on the phone the other day. However, he could also be married, for all I know and, anyway, I won't find out. Obviously I was right as there was no reply at all from him today. Nice detective work there, Miss Marple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 You know, I was going to mention something earlier about how strange it was that he can manage to finagle online dating, but had to have a friend email you a picture from his friend's email... I thought that seemed very odd. I thought it was rude to point it out, though. I found it extremely strange too that he was on an online dating site but yet doesn't have his own email and has to use a "friend's". Uhm, what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 I found it extremely strange too that he was on an online dating site but yet doesn't have his own email and has to use a "friend's". Uhm, what? exactly. even if the story is true, it's stupid and bizarre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 14, 2015 Author Share Posted January 14, 2015 Pedro called me and we had one more nice chat for about 30 minutes. He told me he can't wait to meet me on Friday, he's going to be here around 7pm and he'll be coming to my neighbourhood (his home here is like 45 mins away so he'll meet me first). He asked me where do I want to go, I told him I've chosen a nice, quiet bar with a great view and he said those are the places he likes, too. Fingers crossed that he'll be equally nice in person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthDallas40 Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Hey OSCAR - even my 83-yo mom knows how to text. Find better excuses, Einstein! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 This Sunday is the excursion of the singles site...we'll be 40 people and leaving at 8am...and we'll be back at around 8pm. Unfortunately, Sunday is when Pedro will be leaving, too (provided he will come tomorrow, of course)....so, if things go very well tomorrow, we'll only have Saturday to meet again. I know that's all wishful thinking, of course..it's just been a long time since I liked someone this much...I know that in person we may not be compatible and I'm trying to stop myself from being too optimistic...but it's not easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I know it's not easy to get hopes up but it is so worth the extra effort to self-talk and keep things realistic. You're meeting a near stranger for a short time to see if you should go on a date in the future. Sounds like you'll have at least a pleasant time meeting a new person. Pick your mantra that works! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 That's how I try to think about it. However, a friend I talked with about it said it would be rude to keep the date short (for about an hour I was thinking..) since he only comes home to see me and I should at least stay for a couple of hours to be polite, even if I'm not into him. I'm conflicted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 It's not about being rude or polite. It's about establishing a connection with someone face-to-face. Only you will know your comfort level. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 That's how I try to think about it. However, a friend I talked with about it said it would be rude to keep the date short (for about an hour I was thinking..) since he only comes home to see me and I should at least stay for a couple of hours to be polite, even if I'm not into him. I'm conflicted. So here's the thing -if you two actually start dating will you be able to share in the travel involved? I met a few men who came from a long distance (one whose brother actually lived in my building -huge coincidence!) and I agree -unless they had something else to do in my area I felt we should spend at least an hour or two together. You said he has family where you live? Then it's up to him to combine other activities with meeting you. I see your friend's point though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 So here's the thing -if you two actually start dating will you be able to share in the travel involved? I met a few men who came from a long distance (one whose brother actually lived in my building -huge coincidence!) and I agree -unless they had something else to do in my area I felt we should spend at least an hour or two together. You said he has family where you live? Then it's up to him to combine other activities with meeting you. I see your friend's point though. Yes, I've thought about distance, it was the first thing I thought...but it's only 2 hours away (by car) and my job (and his) are only until Friday afternoon, so, weekends are always free if we want to see each other. Yes, his family lives here...so did he up until last summer..that's when he moved...he wanted to get away from big city life..his town now only has about 20,000 people (the fact that he, after all, doesn't like life there is another story..lol). His home here, in the city (where his parents and sister live), is almost as far from me as that town..lol..about an hour away. Of course he'll also see his parents/friends when he's here but my friend's point was that the main reason for coming is to meet me..at least that's what he said. Of course if I don't feel comfortable around him, I don't have to stay and be miserable...but I'm pretty sure that chemistry or no chemistry, it will be a pleasant evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 Pedro called. He doesn't know yet what time he'll be leaving tomorrow, he said he'll call me at around 3 pm to tell me the exact time he'll be here. I was looking for a way to tell him that I'll be away all day Sunday (in case he wanted to meet again before he leaves) but he said he doesn't know when he'll be leaving..he may leave Saturday afternoon or on Sunday. I imagine that will depend on how well the date will go tomorrow...he didn't say it but I can read between the lines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 If you get along well and there's chemistry, no reason why you can't spend a few hours together. I've had many first meets where we got along so well a drink turned into dinner and we easily spend 4-5 hours together. There wasn't always a second date, but that's ok, I had a good time chatting to someone pleasant and interesting. I don't necessarily agree with keeping the first meet to one hour if things go well. Seems mechanical to me. We're getting along so well, but oops! Times up! Of course if you don't hit it off, I wouldn't stay out of politeness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 16, 2015 Author Share Posted January 16, 2015 Aaaaaaah, typical! I woke up today with one of my eyes swollen, must be an allergy or something. Great! Pedro will take a look at me and run away screaming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Aaaaaaah, typical! I woke up today with one of my eyes swollen, must be an allergy or something. Great! Pedro will take a look at me and run away screaming I would reschedule (especially if it's potentially conjunctivitis which is contagious). You'll feel better about yourself when you feel your best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Well, your day is half started now, but I was going to say no make up until later- and flush your eyes out several times today with warm water...and pick up those polysporn eye drops...but it's probably too late for that but now. If someone cancelled a date where I was driving and staying at someone's house to meet them- I would be really annoyed if they cancelled day of. Hope you're feeling better MM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 16, 2015 Author Share Posted January 16, 2015 Ok, my eye is much better, thank God..but the thing is that something is wrong with Pedro...he's either stupid or I don't know what. Here's what happened. He had said he'd call at 3. The time was 5 and he still hadn't called. So, I come online and I find 2 emails (sent by his iPhone)...one at 4pm 'I'm leaving now' and one at 4.30pm 'what is the name of the cafe?'...so, I called him...very angry but I tried not to let it show. I said 'hadn't we agreed you'd call me?', he said 'but I emailed you' and I said 'yeah but I wasn't online, I found the emails just now by accident'. He was already in my city when I called him but, of course, there was no way I could meet him at the time we had originally said (7pm), I wasn't even dressed..eventually, we agreed on 8pm but, frankly, I'm very sceptical about all this. He's either stupid and thinks that everyone has an iPhone (he'd never asked me) or I don't know what! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Are you on the way to the date now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 16, 2015 Author Share Posted January 16, 2015 No, not yet but soon...unless I change my mind...I can't believe someone can be so stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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